Someone to Watch Over Me
by Aelora
Summary: Clark's cousin, Sinjun, returns to Smallville and ends up working for Lex. I'm not gonna mislead you, its a Mary Sue.
1. Default Chapter

SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME  
  
  
  
Come and lay right on my bed, sit and drink some wine  
  
I'll try not to make you cry  
  
And if you'd get inside my head, then you'd understand  
  
Then you'd understand me  
  
Why I've felt so alone, why i kept myself from love  
  
And you became my favorite drug  
  
So let me take you right now and swallow you down,  
  
I need you inside  
  
If we had this night together  
  
If we had a moment to ourselves  
  
If we had this night together, then we'd be  
  
Unstoppable  
  
Do you think that this is right, or is it really wrong  
  
I know that this is what we've been wanting  
  
And all this is burning in my soul, it fills up to my throat  
  
It fills up till my heart is breaking  
  
Now, we can both learn  
  
Somehow, you'll see it's all we have  
  
Love, it keeps us together  
  
and I need love  
  
When I wake up without you, knowing you're not there  
  
I'm only feeling half as good  
  
Well I'm gonna find a way  
  
To wrap you in my arms, you make me feel alive  
  
Unstoppable – The Calling  
  
  
  
Prologue  
  
  
  
Sometimes you wonder how you got to where you are today.  
  
You wake up one morning and ask "When did this all happen? Is it what I wanted? How did I get here?"  
  
Luckily, I don't have to ask those questions. I know each and every step that brought me to where I am. I know what I've done, what I have to deal with, what I have to remember, what I am paying for each and every day when I wake up in the morning. I've known since I was a child where I would end up. I had the same dream over and over again since I could remember, forecasting my future though I never realized it. Showing to me vividly the prison in which I reside. A prison I myself made.  
  
Many of us are taught through our lives that love is enough. I believed in that. Love was what got me here.  
  
And now I know the truth…  
  
  
  
  
  
Part One – Coming Home  
  
Chapter One  
  
Find, what you already are  
  
Where it's not too close  
  
But never too far  
  
1 Star – Zoo Story  
  
  
  
Smallville, Kansas  
  
March 25, 2002  
  
  
  
My father was a huge James Bond freak, so I grew up on those movies. I can name every gadget Q ever devised for him, tell you what movie they were used in, what damage they did and whether or not you ever saw the damned thing again. I knew the name of every Bond girl and exactly how many times she and James got it on. Most importantly, I knew every super villain and what it was, in the end, that became their downfall. Super villains to me weren't very bright. At least those in the Bond world. They always gave away their plans when they should have just kept their mouths shut. And they were always after stupid things, like taking over the world or a country, though I doubt they ever really knew why that was what they wanted. Taking over the world really doesn't fuel the motivation in someone the way something like revenge or some such does. That's probably why they never succeeded. They still fascinated me though and were always the main reason I put up with the dozens of times my father had me sit and watch each and every Bond film with him. I loved the villains. I wanted to know what made them tick. I wondered what it would be like to have so much money and power that people trembled when you walked by. I could easily understand how money and power could be like an aphrodisiac that you never wanted to end.  
  
It always bothered me that you never saw the super evil woman villain though. You know, a woman could be as easily corrupted by money and power as any man. Hell, more so, in my opinion. Women are taught from birth that they have to rely on men, that it will eventually be a man who will have say so over their lives until death. First you're ruled by your father, then your husband. That's just the way it is. So imagine a woman who came out on top – who had all of the money and power that people trembled when she walked by. Imagine a woman playing all the games those super villains played, only being smarter at it. Because women are smarter, you know. It's a fact. Oh, no man will ever admit it, but they see it, and that's why they have worked so hard to keep women oppressed. We could easily rule the world if we wanted to but we've decided to leave that hard stuff to the men. It's much easier to rule from the shadows. At least, that's my take on it.  
  
Not that I could ever be that woman. It was never in me. Not to say I didn't have drive – there were things I knew I was good at and strived to excel at them constantly, but I never really wanted to be noticed for it. Let's face it, I wasn't exactly what one would refer to as beautiful, nor had I ever been popular or known for doing great and wonderful things. In fact, in school I was more often bored than not, my mind always drifting off into daydreams about… you guessed it, the world of Bond. When you're sixteen and slightly overweight, have never had a boyfriend and know that you will never attend your own prom, you can't help but fantasize about being someone else. I was usually a Bond girl, or Bond's archenemy. You know, the one who finally wins. Only everyone's shocked by it because I was female. And I'd make my mark on the world and hide away with my money and buy myself all the playboys I wanted and be happy forever after. Of course, the problem with all of these fantasies was that I never really hurt anybody to achieve what was needed. Not even 007. I usually just sweet-talked him into letting me have my way. Pitiful, I know. But I was raised with certain values that not even Bond movies could drive from me.  
  
Then I got into college -- by some miracle of fate, considering I daydreamed my way through high school – and I learned the hard way I was never going to really make my mark on the world so I might as well find something I enjoyed doing and resolve myself to the life I would lead. I found my identity as the small town girl removed to the suburbs, alone and a little lost in a big city that frankly scared the hell out of me. I had two great years of college where I excelled in my studies in Public Relations, made a few friends, became obsessed with Tae Bo, suffered through a bout with bulimia -- I already said I was lacking in confidence issues -- and learned very quickly that my world would only be what I made of it. I think that's what college is for – not academics but to learn about yourself and your place in the world. I figured mine would be in some cubicle on the 30th floor of some gray and drab office building until I saved enough to retire and move back to Smallville and live out my days on a porch with a bunch of cats.  
  
In my second semester of my Sophomore year, I received a call from the police that my parents had been killed by a drunk driver on their way back from an evening in the city. I had received the news while at school and had no idea what to do. Automatically I had reached for the phone and dialed my mother's brother, uncle Jonathon. I had simply broken down on the phone, telling them how I was supposed to go out to the morgue and identify the bodies and I didn't know if I could do it. Aunt Martha and uncle Jonathon arrived mere hours later, taking over everything for me, standing beside me when I didn't think I could stand on my own anymore. And then it was during the preparations for the funeral that it had been discovered how badly in dept my parents had been. Every bit of insurance money was needed to cover their mortgage's and credit card dept. Apparently, my father had made some bad business investments in the past and they had been making up for it ever since. With no more money coming in, and the date to file for student loan applications past, I knew I could no longer continue with college and had no where to go. Naturally, my aunt and uncle Kent invited me to stay with them. I didn't want to be a burden on anyone but I also knew the Kent side of the family would never take no for an answer. So I left college and returned to Smallville. The prodigal daughter returns, or something like that.  
  
I kicked at the hard dirt beneath my feet that had only begun the spring thaw, my gaze lifting toward the farmhouse where the Kent family had gathered after the funeral. There were about sixty or so of them present, many who never saw each other except in such dire "circumstances" as this. Those same ones who came to me and said how happy they were to see me, but they wished it could be under happier "circumstances". That was my hated word of the day. "Circumstances". Couldn't they just come out and say "Gee, Sinjun, its good to see you. Too bad your parents had to die for me to drag my ass out here and do my duty as a good relative." I closed my eyes, wincing. My parents were dead.  
  
"Hey."  
  
I glanced up from my reverie to see my cousin, Clark, walking toward me, concern evident in his hazel eyes. I tried to offer a friendly smile, couldn't find it, grimaced instead. "Hey."  
  
"You okay?"  
  
I shrugged. As okay as could be expected, I guess. Clark put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him. I gave in easily, knowing that comfort from Clark was better than being smothered in the bosom of one of my many aunts inside the house. Besides, Clark and I had always been as close as two cousins could be. More like brother and sister, really. I used to spend most of my summers on the farm with him and aunt Martha and uncle Jonathon. Sure, I was four years his senior, and he had spent most of his childhood following me around and being a complete pest, but I adored him. There was something about Clark that you couldn't help but love – I think everyone who met him felt that way, whether they wanted to or not. He was the most gentle person I knew.  
  
"Got a little crowded in there, did it?" Clark asked, rubbing my back.  
  
I nodded against his chest. I could remember a time when I towered over him, and then one summer he sprouted like a bean pole, which is what I began referring to him as. Now I felt petite next to him, and that was little weird for someone who was 5'9" in their stocking feet.  
  
"If one more person tells me they're in a better place… " I sighed, fighting back the tears I had thought were all dried up.  
  
Clark hugged me tighter, obviously able to hear the break in my voice. "I know. They'll be gone soon, and mom and dad will leave you alone."  
  
I smiled. My situation could have been worse. I could have gone to live with aunt Miriam or the spinster aunts, Abigail and MaryBeth. My life could have been hell. Instead, I was with Martha and Jonathon and Clark and it would almost be like having my own parents around. Almost. Uncle Jonathon and his sister, my mom, had always been close and that had carried over to the rest of us. I even had old toys in the guest room that had been relegated as mine when I was a little girl. A small part of me, that I refused to acknowledge just yet, had always missed Smallville and was glad to be back. Maybe it was that secret part of me that still thought it needed to hide away from the world.  
  
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Clark asked me quietly.  
  
I tried to smile but I think it ended in more of a grimace. "I don't know… I… " I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling right now so it's kind of difficult to talk about."  
  
Clark pulled away and looked down at me. "Maybe you shouldn't be worried about what you should be feeling and concentrate on what you are feeling."  
  
"It would seem that easy, wouldn't it?" I glanced up at him, slightly disconcerted by the fact that he was no longer the little boy who used to follow me around on dates. Sighing, I looked back up at the night sky. "Everything just happened so quickly and then it just kept piling up and I feel like I've gone through hundreds of emotions since the accident. And the worst of it is the anger. Anger at them leaving me, anger at them leaving me in this position. I just… I want to scream at them and throw a tantrum. I feel selfish and petulant and I hate it."  
  
"I think you have every right to feel that way, Sinjun," Clark replied quietly, reaching out to caress my back gently. "I don't think anyone expects you to just accept everything that has happened without question. It's a big change for you. But I hope you realize that you're not alone? Mom and dad and I are here for you."  
  
I looked up at my cousin through the tears that threatened. "Thanks, Clark."  
  
"Hey." Clark must have noticed my tears because he immediately pulled me into a hug. "No thanks necessary. That's what families are for, right?"  
  
I smiled against his chest. "Yeah. That and ulcers."  
  
My cousin laughed.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
The alarm went off the next morning long before what I was used to. I had been a college student for the past two years after all, so burying my head back under the pillow and ignoring the fact that breakfast would most likely be ready soon was completely acceptable. At least in my mind. And my body must have agreed because it quickly forgot about the alarm and went right back to sleep.  
  
"Hey! Time to get up, bum!"  
  
I blinked my eyes open at the sound of Clark's voice and peered out from under the pillow to see him leaning through my bedroom door, grinning like the cat who ate the canary. "What do you want?" I groaned.  
  
"Do you plan on sleeping in all day?"  
  
"Oh hell."  
  
I yanked the covers back up over my head and ignored him. Two seconds later I was being severely tickled. I screamed, fighting against the covers in which I had somehow become tangled and the strong hands that held me down, continuing their merciless attack. I finally got one hand around my pillow and lashed out with it, blindly beating it against my attacker since I still could not get out from under the sheets that had effectively trapped me. The brat that was my cousin laughed and easily snatched my only defense from my fingers before returning to his purpose. I resorted to calling him every name in the book between the laughter and the tears, much to his amusement unfortunately.  
  
"Do either of you plan on having breakfast?" I heard aunt Martha ask from somewhere near the door.  
  
"If you'd get this overgrown bear cub you call a son off of me!" I cried out in exasperation. My aunt laughed at that and Clark pinched my side. "Ow!"  
  
"Clark." Martha laughed again. "Leave your cousin alone and come have breakfast.  
  
I felt his weight climb off of me and I quickly scrambled out from under the sheets, flashing him a wicked glare. "One would think you were raised in the barn instead of a farmhouse," she muttered.  
  
"Bum!" Clark called out cheerily.  
  
"Brute!" I snapped back.  
  
Martha shook her head at both of us as her son passed her by into the hall. "Why do I feel like the both of you are ten and fourteen again?"  
  
"He started it," I mumbled, crawling out of bed and into my slippers. Even though I was wearing a warm pair of flannel pajamas, I still wanted to climb back into bed and burrow under the covers. Instead I accepted my new fate, flashed a grin at my aunt and followed her downstairs to the kitchen.  
  
I slipped into my seat as uncle Jonathon entered the kitchen while aunt Martha was setting the platter of pancakes onto the table. I think my uncle saw me slap Clark's hand away as he dove for the food, because I heard him chuckle while I quietly explained to my farm boy cousin that it was polite to let ladies go first. Of course, he replied that he would have done so, had there been any ladies present. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw aunt Martha roll her eyes heavenward at our antics.  
  
After washing his hands, uncle Jonathon took his place at the table, attempting to pretend he didn't see me kick Clark under the table when he stuck his tongue out at me. Piling a stack of bacon on his plate, he asked, "So Sinjun, what are your plans for the day?"  
  
"I'm thinking of looking for a job. I mean not only to help you guys out but hopefully I can put a little away and get back to college in a year or so."  
  
"Don't you worry about us," he told me, his tone broking no disagreement. "You're family and we're not expecting anything so silly as room and board."  
  
I sighed. I knew this was going to be a fight. "I'm no freeloader, uncle Jon."  
  
"No. I just said that. You're family."  
  
"Give it up, Sinj," Clark commented. "It's a losing battle."  
  
"I happen to be half Kent, you know," I replied, flashing my uncle a quick look. "I can be just as stubborn."  
  
"One problem though," uncle Jonathon told me, liberally dousing his pancakes with syrup.  
  
"And what would that be?"  
  
"I'm the head of this household."  
  
He had a point. I glanced across the table at Clark who was grinning down at his plate, possibly attempting not to tell me I told you so. Obviously I was going to have to tread carefully with this matter. I would just get aunt Martha on my side, and then let her handle uncle Jonathon. There was no way that I was going to allow myself to become yet another burden on the Kent family. But first I had to get a job. And when it came to jobs in Smallville… Well, you either worked on a farm, in a boutique or for the Luthors. The farm idea was out. It didn't pay well, and I knew I would have my fair share of chores around my uncle's farm as it was. Boutiques meant customer service and I had learned as a teenager in part time jobs that I was just not meant for that kind of work.  
  
That left one option. Was I destined to follow in my father's footsteps and end out my life working for LuthorCorp?  
  
I finished my breakfast, giving Clark one last loving kick under the table before hurrying upstairs to shower and change. I decided on a simple black skirt and white blouse, attempting to look professional while still fitting into the small town image. My hair, which is somewhere in between brown and red and more wavy than straight but not curly much to my consternation, I pulled back in a simple knot. I had always hated my looks. I learned the lesson in high school that if you were a female born with blonde hair and blue eyes and a petite figure, you could have anything you wanted in the world simply by asking. Unfortunately, my hair had never decided what color to be and while I considered my eyes to be my greatest asset – pale green that a friend once referred to as translucent – they weren't quite enough. I was tall, never having the opportunity to find a boyfriend the size of my cousin in high school, and built more like Ursula Andress than Famke Janssen.  
  
Having no car, aunt Martha let me borrow hers providing that I ran some errands for her in the process. I stopped in town to make a few drop offs, ran into some old friends that I was surprised to find remembered me, then drove my way out to the plant. It had been years since I had last seen the place, just before my father had been transferred from the Smallville plant to Plant Number One, but everything appeared familiar to me. Once I parked the car, I went up the stairs to the office, which I was disheartened to find was empty.  
  
Tapping my foot impatiently, I decided to wait. Taking a seat in one of the waiting chairs, I perused the drabness of the office around me. There were a few black and white photos of Smallville on the walls, aerial views of the chemical plant and surrounding area, a framed article on the opening of the plant from the Daily PSinjunt. The desk before me was empty except for a phone, causing me to wonder if anyone actually worked here. I was just about to meander my way into the plant when the door opened and a man walked in. He looked over at me, his glance registering surprise for a brief moment, and I think we both recognized each other at the same time because we both sort of laughed.  
  
"Sinjun St. Claire, correct?" He walked forward to shake my hand as I stood.  
  
"Yes. Gabe Sullivan, if memory serves." I smiled.  
  
"That it does." He tried smiling at me but it came out as more of a grimace, and I steeled myself for what was to come. "Sorry to hear about your parents. They were good people."  
  
"Thanks." I wanted to get past all of that but just his mention of it made me all nervous and fidgety. I clasped my hands behind my back in an attempt not to bite my nails.  
  
"I heard your living with the Kents."  
  
I nodded, smiled. "Yeah. Aunt Martha and uncle Jon wouldn't take no for an answer."  
  
Gabe nodded, moving away from me to open a nearby filing cabinet. "So what brings you to the plant?"  
  
I gave a half-smile. "I was hoping that you might just possibly be hiring. I need a job."  
  
"Hmmm." Gabe turned away from the files and watched me for a moment, then he nodded toward the desk. "You type?"  
  
"If I have to."  
  
"How're your phone skills?"  
  
"I was a teenage girl only two years ago. How do you think they are?"  
  
He chuckled. "Point well made. My daughter, Chloe, lives on the phone. Okay, you know you're way around a computer?"  
  
"Enough to get myself into trouble."  
  
Another laugh. At least I was making points for sense of humor. "Do you enjoy filing?"  
  
"Hate it."  
  
Gabe closed the door of the cabinet. "Position only starts at nine dollars an hour."  
  
"That's more than I'm making standing here talking to you," I returned with a smile.  
  
"Can you start tomorrow?"  
  
I nodded. "Bright and early in the morning if my cousin has anything to say about it."  
  
"Great." He walked over to shake my hand, pointing at a couple of boxes in the corner filled with files. "See those? We have been without a secretary for three weeks now. They need to be filed first thing."  
  
I laughed, shaking my head. "Thanks. I appreciate it."  
  
****  
  
A week later, I leaned back in my chair, drumming my finger tips distractedly against the desk as I expelled a sigh. I was beyond bored. All the work that had been piling up while the plant was without an administrative assistant, including filing which I have always hated with a passion, I had completed the day before and with Gabe off work, I had nothing to do. The phone rang occasionally, so I spent most of my morning transferring calls and taking messages for Lex Luthor to return when he got back to the plant, but other than that there was little else to do. At least the office was spotless, since I had spent a good hour cleaning every nook and cranny. And there wasn't a paperclip or pen out of place. The last hour I had spent perusing the internet but finally gave that up when it occurred to me that LuthorCorp could easily be monitoring whatever activities I did on the computer and I really did not feel the need to be fired for playing instead of working. But then I was left with just sitting there, nothing to do. I considered asking Clark for some of his homework to do. Who knew? Maybe I could even turn it into a side job, doing high school student papers.  
  
I was pulled from my reverie, and boredom, when the office door banged open and one of the plant employees ran inside. "We need to call an ambulance!" He shouted at me in a panic.  
  
I jumped up from my chair. "What's wrong?"  
  
"There's been an accident!"  
  
"Where?" I headed for the plant while the employee skirted past me toward the phone.  
  
"At the dock. Forklift."  
  
Hurrying down the hall to the stairs, the sound of my heels clicking against the metal gangplank, I made my way towards the docking area. From the view above, I could already spy a group of employees gathered around the accident area. I felt myself grimace. Things like this were not good for employee morale, no matter what the situation was. My father always said that after an accident in the lab, it would be weeks before things ever got back to normal. Which usually resulted in a few firings around LuthorCorp. Instincts kicking in, I pushed through the group to get to the dock supervisor, Randy McAllister. He was kneeling over the inert form of an employee that was not yet familiar to me. He glanced up at me as I moved to his side.  
  
"Who is it?" I asked.  
  
"Frank Carver. He's dead," Randy whispered.  
  
I felt sick, but forced myself to push the emotions aside. Looking over at the hovering employees, my mind working quickly, I asked, "Has anyone called Gabe?"  
  
Randy shrugged. "Just happened. Mel went to call an ambulance."  
  
"Okay. Look, get the rest of these employees back to work. It does them no good to see this. Who was driving the forklift?"  
  
"Bill Tate. He's over there with Daniel. According to him he was just moving some of these crates here, everything was clear, next thing he knows Frank walks right out in front of the forklift, not even giving Bill time to stop."  
  
I followed his gaze to the shaken employee who was talking quietly to Daniel, all the while gesticulating wildly with his hands toward the forklift and the area surrounding it. Chewing my lower lip for a moment in thought, I couldn't help but comment, "The local press will have a field day with this."  
  
"What was that?" Randy asked, climbing to his feet to begin dispersing the employees.  
  
I shook my head. "Teachings of my college professors. Nothing more." Sighing, I turned back to Randy. "I need the file on Mr. Carver. Also, call his family, try to get them out here ASAP."  
  
Moving over to the body, I kneeled down beside it while behind me Randy began telling the employees to get back to work. One of the metal prongs on the forklift had driven right through the man's chest. The crates had smashed into his forehead, cracking his skull open. I had to fight to keep my stomach calm, finally forcing myself to get up and move away. There were too many things to do at the moment to be sick. If there was one thing I had learned during my two years of college, it was that damage control needed to kick in immediately. So I quickly put myself to work.  
  
By the time Gabe arrived a half hour later, everything seemed to be back to business as usual except for the small gathering around the accident area where Frank Carver's family, those employees involved and the medics stood talking. The moment I saw him enter the dock, I moved over to him, files in hand.  
  
"Gabe, glad you're here," I greeted quietly, stopping him before he reached the crowd.  
  
"I called Lex," he informed me, his eyes scanning the area. "He's on his way."  
  
I made a face. What a way to meet my boss, the infamous Lex Luthor, for the first time. "Bet he's thrilled."  
  
Gabe nodded. "What happened?"  
  
"Well, it all could have easily been construed as negligence regarding safety," I began.  
  
The plant manager groaned. It was obvious he was thinking that was all we needed.  
  
"But it isn't."  
  
He looked over at me then, I think noticing for the first time the pile of files I was holding in my hands. "What's going on?"  
  
"Sorry." I flashed him a chagrined expression. "The whole PR thing – I knew this could get out of hand easily, especially in a town like Smallville, especially when LuthorCorp is involved. So I kind of took matters in my own hands. I hope you don't mind?"  
  
"Well, that all depends on what you've done with it?"  
  
I smiled and quickly informed him of everything I had learned. By the time I finished, Gabe Sullivan breathed what sounded like a sigh of relief and was able to smile at me. We discussed my findings and the report I had compiled from Mr. Carver's co-workers as well as his family. Gabe made copies of everything for himself as well as Lex Luthor, grabbing my arm and pulling me with him when it was announced that the Luthor helicopter was in sight. I tried to hang back, telling him that I was more likely needed inside than rubbing elbows with the boss, but Gabe seemed to ignore my pleas. And that's exactly what they were. I was pleading with him not to make me face the spoilt son of a billionaire just at that moment. I had heard more than my share of stories about Lex Luthor while growing up in the suburbs and attending college in Metropolis. I had female acquaintances who made various claims as to the things they had seen and done involving him. I had not the slightest inclination to meet this man.  
  
But as I said, Gabe ignored me. We stepped outside the plant, both of us glancing over at the crowd of reporters who had already gathered from the Inquisitor and Planet and a few local news stations. Leeches, that's what reporters were in my opinion. Feeding off the sorrow of others. I frowned, my attention pulled from the gathering of press as the helicopter landed. I took a deep breath, wondering if this would be the shortest job I would ever hold.  
  
Lex Luthor emerged looking just as he did in every picture I had ever seen of him. Calm, collected, dressed impeccably in all black except for a dark purple shirt. Okay, even I had admitted long ago to myself that he fascinated me. I always found myself wondering how the Luthors would do against James Bond, who would come out the victor in that encounter? Not that I considered Lex Luthor a villain – I think his father fit that bill much more closely from the stories my father used to feed me. From what I could tell, Lex was simply a spoilt brat who had always had everything he wanted given to him on a silver platter and he cared for little more than having a good time and creating havoc in Metropolis.  
  
Of course, I would soon learn that the man and the man in the media were too different people. Silly me for actually believing the picture that the papers painted.  
  
"Gabe, what the hell happened?" Lex demanded as he jogged up the steps toward us, not even sparing me a glance.  
  
Thank God, actually. I was in a bit of a stupor. I mean, I had never met Lex Luthor face to face, and I realized the moment he approached that in reality he was actually quite different from his pictures. His presence almost demanded attention, shouted for it even. And it was more than the expensive clothes or the bald head or the piercing ice blue eyes. It was even more than the distinctive air of confidence and arrogance that surrounded him. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, and I certainly didn't realize it, but I was already caught within the invisible web he spun.  
  
"Just an accident on the job, sir," Gabe replied, moving into step with Lex as he walked past. I almost had to hop forward to catch up.  
  
"Just an accident?" Lex stopped, turning to face the man before him. "Nothing is just an accident when it involves my plant, Gabe." He sighed and glanced over at the pack of reporters. "I see the hounds have arrived."  
  
"We've been holding them off until you got here," Gabe told him. "I don't think you have much to worry about with this matter, Lex. Miss St. Claire seems to have thought of everything."  
  
I watched from behind the plant manager as Lex frowned. "Who?"  
  
Gabe stepped aside, obviously knowing I was hiding behind him, leaving me unguarded, unprotected and wholly vulnerable to the man who was scowling at both of us. "This is the administrative assistant I hired last week. She – "  
  
"What the hell does a secretary know about all of this?" Lex snapped, his ice blue eyes regarding me frankly.  
  
I bit my lip, at a loss for what to say. Realizing I was just extending my idiocy by not speaking, I thrust my hand out at him and blurted, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Luthor."  
  
Surprisingly, Lex took it, and his hand was as soft as I expected it to be. "Lex. My father is Mr. Luthor," he told me. "And you are?"  
  
I glanced over at Gabe uncertainly for a brief moment before turning back to the blue gaze that continued to regard me intently. "Sinjun St. Claire. Mr. Sulliv – Gabe, hired me last week for the administrative assistant position."  
  
"I got the email," he commented, not smiling, not frowning. Nothing. It was the first time I realized that he was an impossible person to read from his expressions. He could probably clean house at poker. "Sounds like Gabe here seems to think you have the situation within my plant completely in hand."  
  
Okay, now I was starting to panic. Maybe I couldn't read his expression but his tone implied that he was not pleased in the least, and I was very likely the target for his displeasure. I had to get a grip. It wouldn't do to stand there with my hands shaking against the files they held – which they were – and look as if I didn't have a shred of confidence to save me – which I didn't. After all, if he did decide to tell me to take a walk, it wasn't as if I couldn't get a job at one of the many boutiques lining the streets of Smallville. Besides, I would just sick Clark on him, since my cousin had informed me when I told him of this job how Lex was his best friend.  
  
I glanced over at Gabe for a moment, allowing the realization to sink in that I was actually being tested. Taking a deep breath, I turned back to the ice blue gaze that continued to leave me slightly more off-center than I had expected. Of all of the stories I had heard regarding Lex Luthor none of them had prepared me for the feeling of predator versus prey that swept over me from the moment he had looked at me. It was not a bad feeling, just not something I was used to. It was as if the man before me was immediately expecting me to be his enemy and had put up his defenses in response to that. I hated confrontation of any kind. This was no exception. But I got the feeling that there was something different going on here, something deeper that maybe I wasn't meant to understand. In the end, I could only rise to the challenge and see where that took me.  
  
All of this crossed my mind in the matter of milliseconds. Taking a deep breath, and wondering which boutique I should apply to first, I replied, "I'm certain Gabe didn't mean it quite like that, Mr. Luth – Lex. As I was here when the accident occurred, I did what I could to make certain it didn't escalate into a media frenzy, putting the facts together as quickly as I could so that we could deter the focus from the plant onto the accident and the employee involved."  
  
Lex raised a brow at that. "Is that so?'  
  
I couldn't help but fidget under his stare. What I really wanted to do was run away screaming back to the farm. Instead, I nodded. "Yes. I know you are probably wondering what I could possibly know about any of this but I've been majoring in Public Relations in college, so I know a little of what I am talking about."  
  
Nothing in response. I cast another quick look at Gabe who gave me a slight inclination of his head, encouraging me to go on.  
  
"Anyway, after the accident occurred, I took the liberty of speaking with some of the other employees who worked with Mr. Carver as well as his family." I mentally reminded myself to stop fidgeting, focusing my gaze over the shoulder of the man before me in order to escape his unwavering gaze. "It appears that Mr. Carver has been having some personal problems the past few months which has led to a bout with alcoholism. Only a few weeks ago, in fact, his supervisor, Randy McAllister, offered to help him get professional assistance, saying that the plant would gladly pay for any treatment he needed. Mr. Carver refused. Just this week, one of his fellow employees encouraged the same thing. Again, it was refused. It appears that today he was drinking on the job when he basically threw himself in front of a forklift. So what could have been a potentially dangerous case of safety negligence is in fact more a case of suicide. LuthorCorp and its employees did everything in their power to help Mr. Carver, but it was not wanted."  
  
Lex just continued to stare at me for the longest moment. I watched quietly as he cast a quick glance to Gabe, then back to me again, which made me fidget.  
  
"Is there anything else?" He asked.  
  
I blinked. "Umm… Well, I took the liberty of preparing this press release since I knew you wouldn't have much time to put anything together… " I trailed off, wondering if I had just completely over-stepped my bounds.  
  
"I see."  
  
Lex glanced between the two of us again, as if quietly analyzing the situation – maybe deciding which of us he would behead first -- before pushing past us to walk over to the media platform. I looked at Gabe, panicking once again, certain I was about to lose my job. He caught my look, shrugged, then took me by the elbow and led me over to within a few feet of Lex, who was preparing to address the reporters. They immediately started firing off questions in his direction.  
  
"Mr. Luthor can you tell us what happened?"  
  
"Does this have anything to do with the incident regarding Level 3?"  
  
"Does the family of the employee wish to sue?"  
  
"Will your father be coming out here to take care of this matter?"  
  
Lex held up his hands, indicating a need for silence. He flashed a practiced smile. "Ladies and gentlemen, I appreciate your patience in this matter. As you likely know, I have been in Metropolis on business this past week and only recently returned the moment I heard about this very tragic accident. I can assure you that LuthorCorp will do everything in its power to make certain that Mr. Carver's family is well cared for. Now, as for the rest of your questions, I am going to give you over to the very capable hands of our plant director of public relations, Miss Sinjun St. Claire."  
  
I swore I hadn't heard him correctly. I even looked around for a moment for someone else with my name, then over at Gabe who was smirking at me as if it were all a great joke. I turned my gaze back to Lex who was standing there on the platform, brow raised in challenge, his hand out to me, indicating that I join him. What was he, insane?  
  
Not knowing how I did it, I finally found myself moving onto the platform, stumbling briefly from my shaking knees but Lex was there, holding my arm, looking down at me, waiting for me to regain my composure. God, he smelled good. If it took billions for a man to smell like that, then I was ready to lobby the government for a fund to make every man a billionaire. For a long moment we stared at one another, and I had no idea what he was thinking and was dying to ask him why he was doing this but then he dropped my arm and moved past me, leaving the platform, leaving me, standing there alone, the press waiting. Clenching the press release tightly in my hands, I turned and faced the crowd of eager reporters. Not knowing where the strength of voice was coming from, I began presenting my carefully prepared release in a surprisingly confident voice.  
  
Half an hour later I found my way back into the plant, after a grueling examination under the microscopes of the press. It had been the most exhausting and nerve racking experience of my life, and I felt like doing nothing more at that moment than giving Mr. Lex Luthor my opinion on his pulling such a stunt like that. Certainly, I may have overstepped my boundaries a little bit but that was not the cause for such punishment as the humiliation he had just attempted to put me through. With this in mind, I stomped into the main office to find Gabe sitting behind my desk on the phone. I tried to slam the door behind me, but it had one of those catches on it to prevent it from doing so and it took a lot out of my little performance.  
  
Gabe covered his hand over the phone and stage whispered to me, "Lex wants to see you. His office is through there." He nodded to the right.  
  
Ah. The forbidden door. It had been locked for the week that I had been there. Believe me, I tried every possible way to get it open. After all, I was bored. Steeling my resolve to give Lex Luthor a stinging set down just before he fired me, I marched over to the door and let myself in. I probably should have knocked but at the moment I didn't care. I just faced a hungry pack of reporters. I could do anything.  
  
Of course, any memory of my carefully planned speech flew out of my head the moment I entered the office. It was like walking into a different world, only this one was much more luxurious than the drab, gray one on the other side of the door. This one was carpeted wall to wall in a thick red pad that I virtually sank into. It was filled with mahogany leather chairs and couches and an enormous redwood desk behind which Lex was leaning back in his chair, watching me, gauging my reaction. I tried not to look impressed but probably failed miserably.  
  
"Finished with your press release?" He asked, one leg draped casually over the other, a bottle of imported water in his hand.  
  
"I… " What was it I had wanted to tell him? It would have been easier if he had stopped looking at me the way he was, his gaze too intense not to make me fidget. I tried to focus on my anger, or what was left of it anyway. "That was very rude of you, Mr. Luthor."  
  
Yes, I purposely said Mr. Luthor just because I realized he didn't like it, didn't like to be equated with his father.  
  
He raised an eyebrow at me but otherwise his expression didn't change. "Rude? What was rude? And it's Lex."  
  
"Humiliating me like that in front of all of those reporters. Although I will admit that I probably did overstep my bounds a bit in this whole situation. Still, I think I would have preferred a good old fashioned lecture as opposed to that."  
  
Lex continued to watch me for a long moment before standing and walking – no, scratch that, gliding, Lex didn't walk, he glided -- over to the wet bar that was set up at the opposite end of the room. "Drink?" He asked.  
  
"No, thank you. I'm… not… twenty-one." Wow, that sounded lame, even to me.  
  
He turned back to face me after pouring himself what appeared to be a brandy. Or maybe it was scotch. Or whiskey. I didn't know. I wasn't exactly an alcohol connoisseur. Leaning back against the bar, he swirled the liquid in his glass for a bit before looking back up at me, his gaze assessing.  
  
"So you admit you overstepped your bounds?" He asked.  
  
I nodded. Here it comes. My dismissal.  
  
At that, he kind of half-smiled. My knees felt weak. Well hell, he really was good looking. Sexy, actually. I think he attended the James Bond school of charm.  
  
"Whatever you may think about me, Miss St. Claire, I had no intention of humiliating you," he told me, one hand in his pants pocket, the other grasping the half-filled glass of dark liquor. "The offer was an honest one."  
  
"Offer?" I repeated, my eyes focused on the fingers that were wrapped around the glass. He had long fingers, and surprisingly strong hands. He straightened and started toward me, causing me to look back up. "What offer?"  
  
He stopped a few feet away from me, taking a sip of his drink. "To be the Director of PR for the plant. It's obviously a position that is sorely lacking."  
  
I blinked, certain I hadn't heard him correctly or was misunderstanding him or something. "Just like that? You have no idea who I am, what my education is and you're just going to offer me the position of directing PR for your business?"  
  
Lex seemed pleased that he had surprised me because he was smiling. That, or he was laughing at me. Maybe a little of both, probably more of the latter.  
  
"You're name is Sinjun St. Claire," he began. "You're a niece to the Kent's. Your parents were recently killed and having no place to live and being forced to drop out of school, you came to live with them on their farm. You were pursuing a Public Relations degree during the past two years at Metropolis U maintaining a 4.0 grade point average throughout. You started work here as a secretary last week, have been bored throughout most of your time, resorting to cleaning and attempting to break into my office."  
  
"Wow. That's… just… scary," I commented with a frown. How the hell did he know I was trying to open his office? Scary thought to think a camera may have been watching me the whole time.  
  
"I make it a point to know about those who work for me," Lex replied. "And people like to talk. Especially in this town and in this building."  
  
Gabe. Figured he was giving Lex an earful while I was out battling the leeches. I watched as Lex moved back over to the front of his desk, turning to lean against it, setting his glass beside him and folding his arms over his chest. "So, are you interested?"  
  
"I'm still a little shocked. I mean, surely there are more qualified people out there. Certainly LuthorCorp has plenty of PR – "  
  
"LuthorCorp has PR personnel out the ass," Lex interrupted. "But that's my father's company. The plant is mine. You would work for me, not him. As for qualifications, I think you just proved yourself under fire, Miss St. Claire."  
  
"Sinjun," I corrected. "Miss St. Claire" always made me feel like a high- paid prostitute. I worried my lower lip for a long moment while we both watched one another. "I'm assuming the offer includes a raise?"  
  
Lex smiled as if pleased with my question. "Of course. I figure you probably just saved the plant tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees. It is only fair to share a bit of it with you." He watched me for a moment longer. "Take your time to think about it if you must."  
  
"Okay." I nodded, turning to leave, my mind running through the offer and our conversation and the realization that this meant I could finish college sooner than I had expected. Reaching the door, I turned back. A good ten seconds had probably passed. "Very well, I accept your offer."  
  
"Excellent." Lex pushed away from the desk and approached me once more, reaching out to shake my hand. "I'll have something written up, and you'll start first thing in the morning."  
  
I nodded, turned to leave.  
  
"Oh, and since I am rarely here, you're free to use my office."  
  
I glanced back at him in surprise.  
  
He flashed a quick grin. "That way you won't have to try breaking into it anymore."  
  
Mortified, I made a small sound, more of a squeak than I would care to admit, and darted from the room. 


	2. Part One - Chapter Two

1.1 Part One – Coming Home  
  
1.2 Chapter Two  
  
Have you ever felt  
  
Like your only comfort was your cage  
  
You're not alone  
  
1.2.1 I've felt the same as you  
  
1.2.1.1 Quasimodo –LifeHouse  
  
  
  
  
  
"I can't believe he gave you the job just like that," Chloe commented over her latte with a shake of her head. "Although I will admit you looked like a pro on the news tonight."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Uncle Jon was so completely unimpressed by that," I told her while beside me Clark grunted in agreement. "Dinner tonight was like the Spanish Inquisition."  
  
Which was exactly why Clark had suggested we take a break from the house and head to the Talon for coffee and some relaxation. Chloe had been sitting by herself, working on an article when we had arrived, and she had gladly put her work away to join us in a chat. Apparently she had seen the news report regarding Mr. Carver's unfortunate accident and her father, Gabe Sullivan, had told her all about the afternoon's events between myself and Lex. She told me how funny her father thought my reactions were. I made a mental note to have a chat with good old Gabe the next morning.  
  
"Mr. Kent doesn't exactly keep his feelings regarding the Luthor's hidden," Chloe said with a smirk.  
  
"Not exactly," I agreed wryly.  
  
"I just wish my dad would give Lex a chance," Clark said, staring down at his empty cup. He looked up at us with an earnest gaze. "He's a good guy. Not like his father at all. I don't see why no one else seems to see that."  
  
I smiled. I couldn't help it. Clark would bring a rabid raccoon home saying it wasn't the raccoon's fault it was killing everything in sight. "Clark, you see the innate goodness in everyone. The rest of us are just cynics."  
  
"Yeah," Chloe agreed with a grin. "Money and power corrupt. And with the amount of money Lex has --"  
  
"Absolute money corrupts absolutely, or something like that," I corrected with a smile. "With that kind of money, corruption turns into pure, unadulterated sleaze."  
  
We both laughed heartily at that but Clark didn't seem too pleased with my assessment of the situation, flashing us both an unhappy frown. "It's not funny. Lex isn't like that. He's very generous. Look what he did with the Talon and other local businesses. And he always does what it takes not to lay people off at the plant. In fact, he's increased jobs over there. Including, I might add, one director of PR."  
  
"Touché," I replied, saluting my cousin with my spoon. "Clark, we're just teasing."  
  
Chloe piped up, "I wasn't."  
  
I grinned over at her. I liked Chloe. She was full of spunk. Turned back to Clark, I said, "Well, I am teasing. I don't know Lex Luthor well enough to cast any judgment, except that he has given me this rather surprising position which leaves me slightly biased toward granting Lex his Sainthood."  
  
Chloe snorted. "Great. I can see it now. Towering statues all over Smallville of Saint Luthor."  
  
Even Clark found that funny. We laughed until other patrons started flashing us those "Aren't you obnoxious!" glances, forcing us to muffle our laughter as best we could and try to steer the conversation elsewhere. Chloe seemed bound and determined to write an article about me and my return to Smallville to which I continually denied granting her permission to do so. Like any high school girl, she resorted to pouting which left her open for Clark to make a few well placed remarks. I sat back and watched the two of them trade barbs back and forth for a few minutes, wondering if my blockheaded cousin had any idea how much the blonde across the table cared about him. God, was I that obvious when I had a crush? I sure as hell hoped I had grown out of that.  
  
It wasn't too much later that I had the distinct pleasure of watching Clark turn into a bumbling idiot when his longtime crush, Lana Lang, walked over to say hello. I thought he would have gotten over her long ago. Apparently, I was mistaken in that assumption. Not that he could be blamed for his choice. Lana was the girl all high school boys dreamed of – tiny and beautiful, smart and sweet, former cheerleader dating the captain of the football team. She was the type of girl I used to sneer at as they passed me by in the hallway when I was sixteen. I glanced over at Chloe while Lana continued to chat with Clark and noticed how she appeared to fade herself into the background. Oh, how I understood that form of defense. I flashed her an encouraging smile. Did boys as men grow out of their stupidity? Somehow, I doubted it.  
  
When I went to bed that night, I got very little sleep. I nodded off quite quickly, but then I began having nightmares. First of my parents' accident. I had been forced to go to the coroners and identify the bodies, and I kept seeing their corpses, now transposed into the mangle that had been their car. Their sightless eyes always staring up at me, almost accusing in a way, like somehow it was my fault. That nightmare faded into a recurring dream that I had suffered through all of my life. I still could make little sense of it.  
  
It started with my walking down the hallway of this large mansion, which I had by now realized was the White House. Why I dreamed of myself there I have no idea. I've never been there, not even for a school trip. Anyway, I'm walking down the hallway and everything is kind of bathed in this white light, and there's some beautiful music playing somewhere in the distance and vases of fragrant flowers and everything seems completely perfect and wonderful. I step into the Oval Office where everything is much the same except for silence. The music fades, and the silence soon becomes so suffocating that I run for the windows to open them, to step out onto the veranda. Only, I realize the windows, the glass doors, anything that might allow me to escape to the outside is barred against me. I'm locked in. This beautiful world in which I seem to inhabit is actually some sort of prison. I panic, knowing that if I don't escape soon, I'll go insane. I always wake up before that transformation occurs though. Guess I don't want to have to deal with the after-effects. This time when I woke up, I couldn't get back to sleep. It had been over a year since I'd had that dream and this time it felt more realistic than ever before.  
  
After conversing with my uncle the night before, I was given the same chores around the farm that I always had in the past when I visited – feeding chickens, milking two of the dairy cows, helping aunt Martha with breakfast in the kitchen, and finally the dishes. I didn't mind it at all, at least I felt as if I belonged there. It was the getting up at five thirty in the morning that kind of hurt. At least by the time I showered, dressed and left for work, I was wide awake. No chance of falling asleep at my desk and certainly no need to hit the caffeine hard.  
  
True to his word, when I got to the plant I found that the door to Lex's office was open. I stepped in, turning on the lights and stared for a long moment, acclimating myself to the fact that I was actually being given the chance to work here. It was a daunting prospect. I didn't think someone like me belonged in an office like that and considered asking Lex for something a bit smaller and less… ostentatious.  
  
I'd enjoy it while I was there though. I was no fool. I grabbed myself a bottle of Ty Nant – at $7.50 a bottle, I figured I might as well enjoy it – and sat down gingerly in the chair behind the desk. I'd never sat in a LazyBoy that felt that good. Grinning, I leaned back, enjoying the sound of the leather creaking against my back. Wow. A person could get used to living like this. I sipped the water, wondering why anyone would pay for something they could just as easily get out of the faucet for free. Obviously I wasn't cut out to be filthy rich because I couldn't understand the way their minds worked.  
  
"Morning, Sinjun."  
  
I jumped, as if I were being caught with my hand in the cookie jar, relieved when I saw it was Gabe who was entering the office. He was carrying a large box in his hands. "Hey, Gabe. What do you have there?"  
  
He deposited his load onto the desk. "Lex told me to pull these for you this morning. Every file for the past twelve years on what's been printed about the plant in the press."  
  
I made a face. Great. Reading.  
  
"He also had me pick this up for you." Gabe reached into the box grabbing something into his hand and tossing it to me.  
  
I looked at it for a moment then at the plant manager. "A cell phone?"  
  
Gabe nodded. "Lex is the only one with the number. Said he wants to be able to contact his PR director at a moment's notice."  
  
"Why am I beginning to think I might regret this?" I muttered, wondering how safe it was for any employee to be a button's push away from their boss's beck and call.  
  
Gabe seemed to nod at my comment, reaching into the box again and withdrawing a slim laptop to place it in front of me. "Best one out there today. Actually I had to beat my daughter down to keep her from taking it this morning."  
  
I laughed. "Tell Chloe she can have my job and the laptop, and I will go back to high school."  
  
"I'd prefer to leave my daughter where she is," he told me with a raised brow.  
  
Was that a warning? Gabe left the office before I could ask. Sighing, I glanced into the box at the files. There had to be a good two hundred or more folders stacked in there. I began digging through them, realizing they weren't in any real order, which completely frustrated me. So I ended up yanking them all out onto the desk and began to put them in order by date. Only some of the folders weren't dated so I had to read through them to find a date, then mark the folder correctly. The process was a long and drawn out one, and it only took a few hours before I had them scattered all over the office, on the floor, the bar, wherever I could find room to make some sense of the myriad of articles that had appeared in papers and publications throughout the nation on LuthorCorp Chemical Plant Number 3.  
  
Not that I did not immediately discover there was some fascinating reading there. Not the articles themselves. They were your standard interviews and exposes, covering everything from the opening of the plant to accidents and layoffs, restructuring and innovations. Boring stuff really, until you read between the lines. There were certain omissions here and there of facts I thought would have been pertinent to any news article. There were other articles that obviously should have had follow-ups but instead seemed to simply die. Most of those had also been placed on the back page of the Life & Style section of newspapers. You know, places avid readers of the newspaper never look. I'm not saying there were obvious cover-ups going on throughout the twelve years of the plant's life but… Okay, I am saying that. I wondered how many reporters Lionel Luthor owned. Only cynicism and plenty of James Bond movies would make a person even entertain such a thought. No company was this clean.  
  
I was stretched out on the floor, my second bottle of Ty Nant beside me, perusing through an extremely interesting article regarding the non- existent Level Three, which was explained to be little more than a basement when I had the inexplicable feeling that I was being watched. I looked up towards the door and felt myself blanch.  
  
"So this is what my son has decided to spend my hard earned money on in his latest venture to get my attention, is it?" Lionel Luthor strolled into the office, staring down at me. "A PR Director who lounges around on the floor, destroys my office and helps herself to my water."  
  
I would have been really grateful if the floor had swallowed me whole right about then. Unfortunately, it didn't. Instead, I was forced to scramble to my feet before Lionel Luthor walked over and kicked me, which I am certain was his actual intent.  
  
"I… erm… was just going through the PR files from the past twelve years, Mr. Luthor, and – "  
  
He snatched the file I currently held in my hands away from me. "And what makes you think you have that right?"  
  
I blinked. This man really did not like me. "I… Lex asked me to – "  
  
"Lex is not the owner of LuthorCorp," Lionel sneered at me. "I am. As such, I make the decisions as to who is going to work for me and who is going to handle the PR for LuthorCorp, and I can guarantee you that will not be done by a college dropout from Smallville, Kansas!"  
  
I was about two seconds away from complete and total hysteria.  
  
"Not fair, dad," Lex's voice called out smoothly from the door. "You make it sound as if Miss St. Claire wasn't carrying a four point oh GPA in her studies at Metropolis U."  
  
Lionel continued to stare down at me, and I felt I was shrinking the entire time. I swear he was looming over me. In the space of a few minutes, the man went from an average height to giant size. I felt like a bug being properly squashed. It was not a pleasant sensation.  
  
"Lex," Lionel replied, still not turning from me. "You've overstepped your boundaries this time in your bid to get back at dear old dad. I'm not going to let you destroy my company's reputation because you thought some pretty bit of fluff would make a cute PR manager."  
  
Pretty? Was that a backhanded compliment or insult? For someone who wasn't used to such compliments, especially from billionaires, I decided to let myself believe it was the former.  
  
"Consider yourself fired, Miss St. Claire," Lionel told me firmly.  
  
Well, that was the shortest job I had ever held.  
  
"Ignore that, Miss St. Claire," Lex countered, suddenly standing beside me. I don't know how he got there. I must have been too focused on the fury in his father's expression. "I hired you, remember."  
  
The Battle of the Luthors. I really didn't want to be in the middle of this.  
  
Trying to ignore the darkening of Lionel Luthor's eyes as he glared at his son, I glanced over at Lex. "Sorry about the mess I made."  
  
Lex shrugged, his gaze locked with his fathers. "It's good to see you hard at work. It makes my decision that much more warranted."  
  
"Lex – " His father began but Lex turned to me, ignoring him.  
  
"Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" He told me. "Don't worry about the files. They'll still be here when you get back in the morning."  
  
Yeah. Like I believed I would have a job to come back to. I was happy for the dismissal though. I wanted out of there. Calmly – I was very proud of myself for that – I moved around the desk and grabbed my purse, preparing to make a hasty exit.  
  
"Miss St. Claire?"  
  
I turned and looked back at Lex who was holding my half-empty bottle of Ty Nant out to me. Sheepishly, I took it from him. "Thanks."  
  
He nodded, then returned his gaze to his father. I watched them both for a moment longer, knowing that there was an enormous battle of wills silently going on. Oh to be a fly on the wall! What exactly did billionaires quarrel about anyway? Having really no inclination to find out, I did my best not to sprint for the door and simply walked sedately out into the main office, closing the door to the Luthor office behind me.  
  
Gabe walked in just as I did so. He frowned. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Lionel Luthor," I whispered.  
  
His eyebrows shot up. "Here? Now?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Well, good thing I still have to do work in the warehouse." He turned to leave.  
  
"Gabe?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I've been told to go home for the day. If I don't see you in the morning… Well, thanks for hiring me."  
  
Gabe looked back at me and smiled. "I think you need to give Lex a little more credit than that." He opened the door to make his escape. "See you tomorrow, Sinjun."  
  
Yeah. Tomorrow. First though, I had to get through today.  
  
And it really wasn't my day at all.  
  
Aunt Martha had work to do on the farm so she told me to take her car into work that morning. The only problem was, as I was making my way back to the farm after being summarily dismissed from the plant by Lex and his father, her car decided to die on me. Just like that. Luckily, I did manage to get it off the road the moment it began to cough and sputter and roll into a coast.  
  
Unfortunately, not being a mechanic by trade, when I opened the hood, I couldn't make any sense of what might be wrong with the vehicle. Everything looked fine to me. But of course it wasn't because it wouldn't start. So here I was, stuck on the side of the road. This is Smallville. Kansas. Meaning the next bit of traffic that passed by could be in an hour or two. If I were lucky. It was the perfect end to a perfect day. And the day wasn't even over yet. I was beginning to wonder if this was Smallville's way of welcoming me back home.  
  
I was sitting on the trunk of the car, debating the amount of time it would take for me to hike to the farm in my heels when the black Ferrari sped around the corner of the road, cutting it dangerously at about seventy miles an hour. It took every ounce of will I had not to leap from the car and dive for cover in fear for my life as the vehicle screeched to a stop in front of me. Obviously I already knew who it was, since I doubted there were that many Ferrari's being sold in Smallville. So I just continued to sit there on the trunk, chin in hand, watching as the driver side door opened and Lex, once again looking cool and composed in all black, emerged.  
  
"Car trouble?" He asked, making his long-gaited way over to me.  
  
I realized I was staring and quickly averted my eyes. "I guess. It died. Now it won't start. Not being a mechanic I can only assume it's dead."  
  
"Need a lift to the Kent farm?" Lex offered.  
  
"Only if you promise not to drive like you were just a moment ago."  
  
A smile. "Demands from the woman whose job I just saved? Tsk. Tsk."  
  
I reddened. "You mean I still have an office to come back to in the morning?"  
  
Lex shrugged. "Who else am I going to get to pick up that mess?"  
  
I laughed. I had never expected this teasing from the man I thought was Lex Luthor. Maybe Clark's claims about him were reasonable after all. He reached out to help me down from the car and I took the offered hand, my heel immediately getting caught in a rock, throwing me against him. I didn't plan that. I really didn't. I promise. I wouldn't have had the nerve to do such a thing. Not that I was complaining. For as thin as he appeared to be, the body I was leaning against seemed to be comprised of nothing but solid strength. And he smelled as good as he had the day before. It was like a mixture of mint and brandy and spices that was probably created for the sole purpose of having women throw themselves against him the same as I just had. Only I hadn't. Not on purpose anyway.  
  
Glancing up at him, I found that he was watching me, his expression once more unreadable, guarded. Then the faintest touch of a smile touched his lips. "Good thing you didn't try walking home, hmm?"  
  
And then he pulled back from me, quite quickly actually, so that I was in danger of losing my balance again, but I quickly saved myself from doing so. After all, I didn't want to look like a complete idiot. I watched as he walked over to the passenger side door of the Ferrari, held it open for me. Wow. A gentleman, too. Who knew? I moved over to the car and gracefully lowered myself into the seat – gracefully, ha! – immediately securing the seatbelt into place as Lex shut the door. Then he was sliding into the driver's side, and the engine roared to life. Oh yeah. I had forgotten that I didn't get that promise out of him.  
  
Gripping the cushion of my seat until my knuckles turned white, I tried to turn my focus off of the road and to the man beside me. "So… does your father turn up like that often?"  
  
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lex frown and realized that maybe I shouldn't have brought the topic of his father up. "Often enough. Actually, this was just another one of his power trips. He doesn't like it when I get one up on him. He just needed to remind me how much I disappoint him as a son."  
  
"Ah. One of those Hallmark type father/son relationships," I commented, trying to lighten the dark mood that suddenly descended from my question.  
  
Lex looked over at me but said nothing. I refrained from telling him to keep his eyes on the road. He turned his gaze back to the road in time to see the blind curve and take it sharply. I just closed my eyes, not opening them again until I felt something in my lap. I looked down to see the cell phone sitting there. I turned to look at Lex.  
  
"You left it in the office. My cell is programmed in as the second number. My home as the third and the plant as the fourth."  
  
"And the first?" I asked, picking the tiny thing up and examining it.  
  
"The Kent's."  
  
That was considerate of him. Another point for Lex. I was beginning to join with Clark in the question as to what the hell was it that my uncle had against him.  
  
"So what kind of name is Sinjun anyway?"  
  
I smiled. "What kind of name is Lex?"  
  
Lex kind of smiled in reply. "It's short for Alexander."  
  
"I won't hesitate to guess that your father named you after Alexander the Great," I commented.  
  
"Why do you think that?"  
  
I shrugged. "He just seems the type. The question is, are you living up to your namesake?" I looked over at him.  
  
"I will," he replied, turning to meet my gaze. "And you haven't answered my question."  
  
I sighed. "Unfortunately, though my parents may not be able to compete with yours financially, they also had lofty expectations for me. My mother was obsessed with Joan of Arc but she hated the name Joan. So my father, who is… was a huge James Bond freak, as well as anything British, suggested taking Saint Joan and giving it the same pronunciation as the British pronounce St. John – Sinjun. And thus created a legacy of being teased at school."  
  
"I like it."  
  
I looked up to see Lex flash me a quick smile, which I found myself returning. "Thanks."  
  
The next few minutes were silent between us as Lex pulled up the drive to the farm. Putting the car in park, he turned to regard me, and I once more felt myself fidgeting under his steady gaze. It would have been easier if I could have read what he was thinking.  
  
"I hope my father didn't overly upset you today," he told me quietly.  
  
I looked out the windshield in front of me, uncomfortable under those pale blue eyes. "Upset? Nah. Unless you consider almost puking because the hysteria has built up so quickly within you that you're sure you're going to start screaming at any moment as not being overly upset."  
  
Lex laughed. He had a really nice laugh, and I felt myself relax a little, enough that I was able to look at him again. "Well, you didn't show it and that scored points with my father if nothing else."  
  
"Really?" I raised a brow. "I was positive I must have appeared as a blur I was shaking so much."  
  
"No." Lex shook his head. "You held up well. Just one more point that I was correct in my decision."  
  
His praise embarrassed me. I have never taken compliments well. And, well, these were coming from an extremely good-looking and charming billionaire. Good thing uncle Jonathon can't read minds, or he would probably kill me at dinner tonight. I really needed to get away from this infatuation with the man who was now my boss.  
  
Already knowing the answer, but remembering my manners anyway, I asked, "Would you like to come in?"  
  
"I don't think that would be a good idea," he replied, shaking his head. "Your uncle isn't exactly fond of me."  
  
As if I didn't know. I couldn't help but notice the tone of Lex's voice when he said that, though. It had been soft, slightly sorrowful, self- deprecating. I couldn't help but wonder what someone like Lex Luthor would be doing worrying about Jonathon Kent's opinion of him. Taking a deep breath and reminding myself that it really wasn't any of my business what my boss was thinking, I unlocked my seat belt and opened the door to get out.  
  
"Thanks for the ride," I said, turning back and leaning down to face him.  
  
He smiled. "You even survived it."  
  
I smiled back at him.  
  
"Don't forget. I expect you to be back at work on those files first thing tomorrow morning," he reminded me.  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
I stepped back and watched as the Ferrari tore down the driveway and sped away from sight down the dirt road. Maybe having that much money made you feel secure that nothing would ever happen to you. I could never drive like that. It was almost as if he were trying to get himself killed. You know, live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse. Of course, Lex Luthor didn't seem to be the suicidal type. There seemed to be a little too much drive to him, like he meant what he said about living up to his namesake. I could only suppose that with a father like Lionel Luthor, there would be little other choice in how you would turn out. That thought led me to the confrontation in the office between father and son. Obviously, things had turned out in Lex's favor – as well as my own – but I couldn't help but wonder at what cost to each of them. What a strange relationship. Oh well. It wasn't really any of my business anyway.  
  
When I entered the kitchen through the back door, aunt Martha, uncle Jonathon and Clark were all seated around the table, talking. They fell to silence the moment I walked in. That made me pause. It wasn't the first time in the past few days that this had happened. Ever feel like someone's keeping something from you? I mean, either they were talking about me, which I highly doubted because the Kent's just weren't like that. Or they were hiding something from me. Which I kind of doubted as well because, like I said, the Kent's weren't like that. But what other explanation was there? They would clam up and all three look guilty, unable to look me in the eye, staring at various areas around the room like they were doing now. It was enough to give somebody a complex.  
  
"Interrupting something?" I asked, dropping my purse on the counter.  
  
"No," aunt Martha smiled. "We're just a little surprised to see you home so early."  
  
"Long story," I replied, not really wanting to give my uncle another reason to start in on the Luthor's. "Unfortunately, on the way home your car died on me, aunt Martha. It's a few miles down the road."  
  
"You didn't walk all of that way, did you?" My aunt asked, her brow furrowed with concern.  
  
"No, I.. uh… got a ride… from Lex."  
  
Clark grinned. "Lex does things like that."  
  
I could tell he was commenting on our conversation the night before. I stuck my tongue out at him.  
  
"Come on, Clark," uncle Jonathon said, leaving the table to walk past me to the door. "Let's go see what's wrong with your mom's car. We'll be back."  
  
I wandered over to the refrigerator for a can of pop as they left. Aunt Martha began preparations for dinner. Looked like we were having chicken. Glad to see I missed the allocation of said chicken. Sitting at the table with my diet Pepsi and grabbing an apple to munch on, I asked, "So what was that all about?"  
  
Aunt Martha looked at me for a moment, and I could swear I saw her carefully considering her words. She replied, "One of the boys in Clark's class drowned this morning in his family's pond. They were able to revive him thankfully. He was an old friend of Clark's. They used to fish in that pond all of the time."  
  
"Glad to hear he's okay." I ate a few bites of the apple, thinking. Frowning, I glanced over at my aunt. "How'd he drown? I mean, didn't he know how to swim?"  
  
Aunt Martha shrugged. "He and Clark used to go swimming in the river all of the time. I don't know what happened. Clark didn't go into too much detail."  
  
Weird. But then, weird things always happened in Smallville. It was one of the reasons my father had been eager to take the position offered to him by Lionel Luthor to move to Plant Number One. He had wanted out of Smallville. I had never understood it and never asked why he had such an aversion to his hometown. It always took an argument from my mother to even get permission for me to visit the farm every summer. When I had tried questioning her about my father's reluctance, she had answered with something about overgrown vegetables and mutant animals that my father was afraid I could be exposed to. I always thought it was something more than that but never had the nerve to bring it up. Now I guess I never can.  
  
Clark and uncle Jonathon returned a few hours later having repaired aunt Martha's car but saying it still needed some work done to it. That would mean uncle Jonathon would need to give me a ride to and from work each day. I really needed to save up and buy a car. Over dinner, Clark suggested I ask Lex for a company car, at which time my uncle almost had a coronary, and I had to quickly tell Clark that the position and raise were quite enough and I really couldn't ask any more of Lex. That seemed to mollify my uncle, even though he was none too pleased about the cell phone. He wondered what possible reason Lex would need to get a hold of me at a moment's notice. I had wondered the same thing but didn't need to add my suspicions to my uncle's or the next thing I would know, I'd be working at some boutique store on Main Street.  
  
It was after midnight, in the middle of my recurring dream when I am just entering the Oval Office, that a strange whirring sound woke me up. I opened my eyes, wondering if it was my imagination when it went off again. Sitting up, I stared into the darkness, listening to this whirring sound, wondering what the hell it was, when I remembered the damn cell phone. Scrambling out of bed, I searched in the darkness for my purse, stubbing my toe twice in the process before I found it. Digging through it, I pulled the obnoxious little bugger into my hand, stared at it for a moment looking for a button that might make it stop whirring, before I noticed the one that said "talk". I pushed it and blessedly the thing went silent before I finally put it to my ear.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"It's Lex. Did I wake you?"  
  
"No. I'm normally wandering the house at," I glanced at the clock, "Two o'clock in the morning. I figured I'd start feeding the chickens early or something."  
  
"Your sarcasm is duly noted," came the reply. Maybe there was even a hint of a smile. "Be outside in five."  
  
I blinked. "You're joking, right?"  
  
"No. There's been a break-in at the plant. I want you there."  
  
"A suicide one day and a break-in the next?" I asked in exasperation as I flipped on the light, groaned at its brightness and began tugging on my jeans. "That's not a very good track record, Lex. Something you wanna share with me?"  
  
"Yeah. You've got less than four minutes."  
  
"Hell." I hung up the phone, tossed it into my purse – ignoring the fact that I just hung up on Lex Luthor – and quickly finished getting dressed.  
  
There really wasn't time to look as professional as I wanted, so I had to opt for jeans and a nice blouse. My hair was another matter altogether. I didn't have time to go through my hair accessories for something to pin it up with, so I quickly wound it into a knot and stuck a pen through it. You never knew when you might need a pen handy. Tugging on some flats, I grabbed my purse and darted down the stairs just as I heard the Ferrari roar into the drive. Just as I was headed out the door, I heard Clark call out behind me from the stairs:  
  
"Hey, what's going on?"  
  
"Something at the plant. Hopefully I'll be back soon. Go back to bed." That said, I hurried out the door and over to the waiting sportscar.  
  
"You hung up on me," Lex commented as I slid into the seat.  
  
"It was that or go to the plant in my flannel pj's," I snapped.  
  
"Note to self: Miss St. Claire is not a morning person."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "It's Sinjun, please? And it's not morning. It's obscene."  
  
I glanced over to see Lex smile. In the illumination from the dashboard lights on his pale skin, he appeared almost diabolical. Still extremely good-looking, but not quite of this world.  
  
"I'm glad you find this so entertaining," I told him. "But you aren't the one who has to get up at five-thirty to do chores, only to then spend the rest of your morning and afternoon reading through extremely tedious files."  
  
"And don't forget cleaning the mess you left with the files," my boss added.  
  
"You're really making me rethink this whole promotion, you know."  
  
Lex smiled. "Are you always this entertaining?"  
  
I shrugged. "I try. Sarcasm prevents me from telling my boss exactly what I would like to say to him at, " I glanced at my watch, "Two ten in the morning." I quickly covered a yawn, then asked, "So what is this all about?"  
  
"No telling. Could be just some kids breaking and entering. Could be something more. Nothing appeared to be stolen but… "  
  
I raised a brow at that. "But?"  
  
Lex sighed, flickered his gaze toward me. "Did you get to anything about Level Three in those files yesterday?"  
  
"Yeah. The "supposed" Level Three which your father claims was never anything more than the basement. Sure did. Why?"  
  
"Well, whoever it was that broke in apparently spent most of their time in that area. Barrels were knocked over, doors opened, empty crates smashed."  
  
"But nothing ever happened down there," I commented ironically.  
  
Lex flashed me an expression I would soon come to recognize and know well. It was a cross between "Don't go there" and "Perhaps you're too smart for your own good". Normally such a look would have sent warning beacons flashing in my mind but at that moment I was just too tired to care. Every major corporation had its skeletons to hide. That was why the profession of Public Relations was created in the first place. I seriously doubted that LuthorCorp was any different. The problem was, if Lex and his father did have things that they would prefer to keep out of the public knowledge, then I needed to know what those were. For now, if Lex wanted to continue to play "Don't ask, don't tell", I'd let him.  
  
When we arrived at the plant, Gabe was there along with plant security and two of the local deputies. Luckily no press had arrived yet, which was kind of funny to me since I always considered them to be night creatures – you know, vampires. Gabe met us at the entrance and immediately led us down the hall to the elevator and finally to Level Three, which had been reopened since the incident with Earl Jenkins but not yet used for anything. He explained that there were absolutely no signs of forceful entry anywhere and security was emphatic that everything had been locked securely. When I asked how they knew there was a break-in at all, he said that the two guards on duty had heard noises during their scheduled patrol. That was what had led them to find the mess in Level Three. Lex appeared slightly agitated, so I left Gabe to deal with him when we reached the basement while I wandered off to do some investigating of my own. I started with the security guards, who were currently in discussion with the deputies. I recognized Roland Chalmers as the guard who was always on his way out in the morning as I got in. He was the first one I approached.  
  
"Roland."  
  
"Miss St. Claire." He turned to me, nodding. "I heard about your promotion. Congratulations."  
  
News travels fast. "Thanks. What happened here?"  
  
"Good question." He took off his cap, scratched his head. "Rob and I were just doing our regular walk around the place when we heard something like the sound of barrels being knocked over down here. So we split up and took separate routes down to the floor but when we got here, there was no one around. Just this mess." He spread his hands, indicating the scattered remains of wooden crates and knocked-over barrels. "That's when we began looking for signs of entry or exit or something but couldn't find any."  
  
"And you're certain there was someone here? I mean, this couldn't have happened at some other time? Maybe a daytime employee getting curious?"  
  
Roland shook his head. "No. You see, that's the strangest part about this. I was down here, on the floor, when I still heard someone moving around. In fact, I could swear I had seen movement. But when I turned my flashlight in that direction, there was nothing there."  
  
"What about the other guard – Rob?"  
  
Roland called him over and introduced us. I asked him the same questions as Roland and he gave me pretty much the same answers.  
  
I sighed. "And that's it? There's nothing else?"  
  
Rob frowned. "Well, this might sound a little weird."  
  
"I can handle weird."  
  
"Well, I heard a splash."  
  
"A splash?"  
  
Rob must have noticed the frown I was giving because he quickly elaborated, "Yeah, a splash. Like water hitting something. Like a lot of water hitting something all at once. Can't really explain it except it was like taking a bucket of water and suddenly dumping it onto the floor."  
  
I looked over at Roland. "Did you hear this, too?"  
  
He shook his head. "No. But then, we were at opposite ends of the room."  
  
"And where were you when you heard this, Rob?"  
  
He pointed.  
  
"Okay. Thanks, guys. I'm sure Lex will want to speak with you next." I glanced at Roland. "Mind if I borrow your flashlight?"  
  
Taking it in hand, I walked away from them, toward the direction Rob had pointed me in. I spent the next several minutes searching for something – what, I had no idea, but I knew that something had to be there to give us a clue as to what was going on. I was just about to give up when I turned the light to my right and noticed something out of the corner of my eye on the floor. Frowning, I moved closer, more than a little surprised when I discovered a small puddle of water. Cocking my head to the side in curiosity, I walked over and crouched down beside it. There wasn't quite enough there to constitute a "splash" such as Rob had described, but the simple fact that it was there at all was enough to confuse me. I began pointing the flashlight around me, searching for a sensible source that the water would have come from. There was a drain a few feet away on the floor that I focused on.  
  
"Find something?"  
  
I started at Lex's voice, muttering under my breath about people sneaking up on me in their expensive Italian shoes. He leaned over beside me.  
  
"Just this puddle," I replied, pointing. "Has this level flooded recently?"  
  
Lex turned to look over his shoulder, calling out, "Gabe? Come here a moment, please."  
  
Gabe walked over to us. "Yeah?"  
  
"Has there been any recent flooding down here?"  
  
"No, sir." Gabe shook his head, looking at both of us quizzically.  
  
"Can you explain where this water may have come from?" I asked, pointing the light at the puddle.  
  
He shook his head, then looked up and Lex and I followed his gaze. Unfortunately, there were no pipes directly over us. No sign of water on the ceiling above either.  
  
"Curiouser and curiouser," I commented softly, once more glancing from the drain to the puddle.  
  
"What do you think happened, Alice?" Lex asked quietly beside me.  
  
I looked over at him and we grinned at one another for a moment. "While I doubt any of this has to do with white rabbits and magic mushrooms, I am willing to admit I'm stumped. I think I'll leave this one to the experts."  
  
"That's not what I was hoping to hear," Lex told me with a frown.  
  
I shrugged. "So sue me. I've only been awake for little over half an hour. My brain isn't exactly functioning at the moment."  
  
"Hopefully it's functioning enough to put together something plausible for the press by morning," Lex replied, standing. "I'm going to have a word with the deputies."  
  
"Slave driver," I muttered as he walked off.  
  
Sighing, I found my gaze drawn to the puddle once more. There was something about it that bothered me. I tapped my fingers against the flashlight for a moment then reached out and touched the water. It was cool to the touch and felt slightly… well, slimy actually. Like how your skin feels covered in soap. I rubbed it between the pads of my fingers for a moment before holding them up to my nose and sniffing it. I made a face. It smelled like… fertilizer. Nothing too significant in a plant that made fertilizer daily. I mean, I swore I walked away from there each day smelling like the stuff. But still, something about it bothered me. Maybe I was just becoming a naturally suspicious person. Maybe that article about the non-existent Level Three was hovering on my conscious. Either way, I had the feeling this couldn't be ignored. Climbing to my feet, I glanced over my shoulder as Lex called out that he was going up to the office and would meet me there. I nodded and returned to the task at hand.  
  
Forty-five minutes later, Lex and I climbed back into his car. Nothing more had been discovered. Again, nothing seemed to be stolen. It simply appeared as if someone had somehow snuck their way into Level Three and had a temper tantrum. I could tell the whole situation was bothering Lex, but he didn't know or trust me well enough to confide in me. Not that it bothered me greatly. I had a feeling there were probably more than a few secrets regarding LuthorCorp that I didn't want to know. Digging into my pocket, I found what I was looking for and held it out to him.  
  
Lex glanced briefly from the road down to my hand, which held the tiny vial. "What's that?"  
  
"A sample of that puddle that was on the floor. I figured you probably knew a scientist or two who could check it out."  
  
He took it from me, held it up to the light. "You think there's something to this?"  
  
"Don't know." I shrugged. "It smelled very strongly like fertilizer – "  
  
"Everything in there smells like fertilizer, Sinjun." Lex gave me a perturbed look.  
  
"And it felt funny. Look, it's just curious, is all. I doubt it'll be a great burden to you to have it looked at."  
  
Lex pocketed it into his jacket. I fidgeted in the seat beside him, knowing I wasn't going to get anymore sleep that night. I sincerely hoped he didn't decide to make a habit of this. I was already beginning to feel the need to take a vacation.  
  
The rest of the drive was silent; I'm sure Lex was as involved in thinking about this weird break-in as I was. Although probably for different reasons. I kept wondering what I was going to tell the press tomorrow when I began to receive phone calls. To say there was a break-in but there was no evidence of anything stolen or forced entry would leave the community asking too many questions. It would make security at the plant look under par, raise questions as to safety concerns and bring up too many speculations regarding the whole Level Three fiasco. That left lying. I was a horrible liar and didn't think I could pull that off. Besides, one generally got caught in lie anyway, especially when it came to lying to the press. Nosey buggers.  
  
I snapped out of my reverie when the car came to a stop and I noticed my uncle's farmhouse out the window. There were lights on in the kitchen. Obviously one or all of my relatives were waiting up for me.  
  
Lex noticed it too because he commented, "Looks like someone is worried about you."  
  
I half-smiled. "After two years at college on my own, I have to admit this can be a little stifling. Still, I know they mean well. They're like another whole set of parents."  
  
I looked over to see Lex frowning. Not at me, not really at anything. Just frowning, looking unhappy about something. I was dying to ask him what he was thinking about but didn't have the nerve to do so. Opening the door, I said, "Well, talk to you in a few hours I suppose."  
  
He looked over at me as if he had just remembered I was there. "Have any idea what you're going to tell the press?"  
  
"I don't know. Think we could start a rumor about the ghost of Level Three?"  
  
That got a smile as intended. "Somehow, I think that will defeat our purpose."  
  
He had a point. I sighed, glancing once more at the farmhouse, noting the swinging of a curtain in the kitchen window. Obviously someone wondering what was taking so long. Looking back down at Lex, I asked the question that had been hovering in my mind since earlier that day. "Is… is there anything I should know about Level Three, Lex?"  
  
His expression hardened as he looked at me and I realized I had stepped a little too far over the invisible boundaries. "No," he replied smoothly. "Why would there be?"  
  
I shrugged. "Just doing my job, Mr. Luthor."  
  
Another dark look. I realized I was pushing, and I don't think he was used to being pushed. "Lex."  
  
"Yeah. Right. Sorry. Lex."  
  
Lex shifted the car into gear, signaling the end of our little chat. "I'll call you in the morning, Miss St. Claire."  
  
"Sinjun."  
  
"Yeah. Right. Sorry. Sinjun."  
  
I pushed the door shut and watched him speed away. Two words came to mind at that moment: Plausible deniability. 


	3. Part One - Chapter Three

Part One – Coming Home  
  
1.1 Chapter Three  
  
I'm hearing without listening  
  
And believing every word  
  
You are not saying  
  
Speaking without a sound  
  
Cling and Clatter – LifeHouse  
  
  
  
The next week passed by without incident. When I spoke with the press the morning after the supposed break-in, I informed them that since there were no signs of entry, it was agreed that the perpetrator was simply a raccoon that had climbed in through one of the vents. All of the vents in the plant were being repaired to keep such a thing from happening again. When the news went out, I received a message on my voice mail from Lex. All it said was "Didn't know you had it in you." I knew to what he was referring and I didn't believe that my explanation to the press was a lie. After all, there was absolutely no conclusive evidence that there had been a break-in. The guards hadn't actually identified anyone, animal, human or otherwise. Therefore, what I told the press simply included the omission of certain facts that weren't really their business anyway. They were part of an investigation and did not need to be shared.  
  
Not that I still didn't harbor a few suspicions on my own. Problem was, I didn't know where to begin. I mean, its one thing to feel suspicious about what's going on at a company owned by LuthorCorp. Its quite another to begin wondering about what's going on with your own family. I was beginning to think I was the only person in Smallville who wasn't keeping something from me. Chloe called me paranoid when I mentioned it to her. I replied it wasn't paranoia, it was perception. I swear everyone around me had a secret to harbor and I was beginning to feel a little left out.  
  
One evening after dinner, I followed Clark up to his sanctuary in the barn, the loft that uncle Jonathon referred to as his "Fortress of Solitude". We sat and played checkers for awhile and he asked me how I was enjoying my job and I asked him about what was going on at school. Then we sat in silence while I continued to beat him.  
  
"You're mind doesn't exactly seem to be on the game," I commented after our sixth round. "This isn't exactly chess, you know. The odds should be a little more even between us. Something wrong?"  
  
Clark looked up at me for a moment and there was something in his eyes that seemed to say he wanted to talk. But then it went away and he replied, "Just stuff at school. Nothing important."  
  
"Of course." Standard answer. I was getting used to it. I cleared two of his checkers from the board and asked, "So how did you and Lex become friends? I mean, you have to admit, the two of you are about as opposite as two people could be. I don't picture him hanging out a high school pep rallies."  
  
I glanced up. Clark was fidgeting suddenly and I found myself wondering if I had picked up the trait from him or he was picking it up from me.  
  
"I sort of… saved his life."  
  
I raised my eyebrows at that. "Okay, now this is interesting. Saved his life? Lex Luthors? What happened?"  
  
"His Porsche hit some debris in the road and he lost control and went off the bridge into the river. I saw it happen and dove in and pulled him out and revived him." He shrugged as if it were nothing, keeping his eyes on the board between us.  
  
"Wow." I continued to stare at Clark while he continued to pretend he didn't know that I was. "Good job, Clark. Now wonder he seems so impressed with you."  
  
My cousin shrugged again. "It wasn't anything. He made a pretty big deal of it, gave me a truck and all."  
  
I smiled. "Let me guess, your dad wouldn't let you keep it?"  
  
Clark finally looked up at me and flashed a wry grin. "Of course."  
  
Poor Lex. Forbidden from even showing his appreciation for having his life saved. Not that I completely disagreed with my uncle's decision. In a way, Clark accepting the truck would have cheapened what he had done. Saving someone's life shouldn't be worth the price of a truck and I sure as hell hoped that Lex didn't put such value on his own. Life was worth more than that, something which I think my cousin has always understood.  
  
I stood, yawning. "Well, I am off to bed. Got another day of file perusal to look forward to tomorrow."  
  
Clark smiled. "Thanks for keeping me company tonight, Sinj."  
  
I waved a hand in the air. "You know I love spending time with you, Clark. G'night." I turned and started down the loft.  
  
"Hey, Sinj?"  
  
"Yeah?" I stopped and glanced over my shoulder.  
  
"Do you believe in Fate? I mean, that somehow my saving Lex's life and becoming his friend and your moving in with us and getting a job an important job at the plant from Lex all might have something in common? Some reason that they occurred?"  
  
I shook my head. "No, Clark. They're merely coincidences in the ongoing shuffle known as life."  
  
Clark smiled, shrugged. My cousin had the most adorable smile. "Just curious. Sleep tight, Sinj."  
  
"You too bean pole."  
  
The next morning at work, as I had informed Clark, I prepared myself for another day of reading. I had cleared out most of the files, leaving only the most recent press stories left to peruse. It was while flipping through those that I noticed mention of the Kent farm. Going back to the article I had passed, I laid the folder on the desk and quickly began reading. Apparently LuthorCorp barrels containing chemical waste were deposited onto my uncle's farm, killing his entire herd of cattle. There was something I didn't know. The next few articles went on to describe how the area was cleaned up and the herd replaced by LuthorCorp but that it was very possible the land was permanently contaminated. Now I understood why there was an entire pasture that uncle Jonathon refused to use. I hadn't really questioned the family about it, figuring it had something to do with farming that I knew nothing about.  
  
"Still reading?"  
  
I glanced up to see Lex leaning casually in the doorway, dressed in a gray cashmere shirt and black slacks, looking a lot sexier than any man had a right to. I forced my gaze back to the article in front of me, wondering how long it would take before my boss realized I was mooning after him like Clark did with Lana.  
  
"There's a lot here," I replied. "Seems LuthorCorp is a favorite with the press."  
  
"Gabe tells me you have practically closeted yourself in here the past few days, going through those files." I heard him move across the room until he was standing in front of the desk, but I still didn't look up. Not until he reached out and flipped my current folder closed. "Come on. It's time for lunch."  
  
I glanced at my watch. After noon. I was hungry. But I shook my head. "I'm expecting a call from someone at the Planet wanting a follow up to last week's events."  
  
"They can leave a message," Lex told me, walking around the desk and pulling me and the chair out to face him. He leaned down until we were eye to eye. "The boss wants to take you to lunch. Are you going to say no?"  
  
Did anyone say no to Lex Luthor? Well, besides my uncle, I mean. I could have said no. Easily. The problem was, I didn't want to. Any chance to spend time in his presence was becoming increasingly important to me. And we had done nothing but converse over the phone for the past week. My uncle would kill me if he knew. Clark would laugh at me. I couldn't remember the last time any man had affected me this way. He was still staring down at me, piercing me with those blue eyes of his and his familiar scent hung in the air between us and I found myself wriggling in the seat uncomfortably under his gaze.  
  
"You know, if you're ever going to make it in this world, you've got to conquer this fidgeting problem of yours," he told me quietly.  
  
"I didn't know I was going to make it anywhere. This is Smallville," I replied.  
  
A slight smile. "You never know, Miss St. Claire."  
  
"Sinjun."  
  
"I know."  
  
He continued to stare at me for a moment longer and I realized that for once I had remained completely still throughout. He smiled and straightened, holding his hand out to me. "C'mon."  
  
Like I really had any plans to say no.  
  
Lex took me to the steakhouse in town owned by the Carlisle family who had owned and operated the place for over fifty years. It was really the nicest restaurant in town but Lex looked completely out of his element there. Mrs. Carlisle was thrilled when she realized Lex Luthor was in her establishment and I'm certain we received an unprecedented amount of attention compared to the rest of the patrons. It was actually kind of amusing, watching the Carlisle family practically trip over themselves and each other to make certain everything was perfect. Even Lex flashed me a secret little smile that seemed to say he was finding the entire experience quite entertaining. Mrs. Carlisle insisted he call her Beth, fawned over me for a short time welcoming me back to Smallville, offering her condolences on my loss, congratulating me for getting such a great job within Mr. Luthor's company, etc., etc. I think she crammed more conversation into the three or so minutes she hovered around our table than I had in my entire life. I was physically tired by the time she left.  
  
Lex raised an eyebrow at me the moment the woman walked away. "Is she always so… gregarious?"  
  
I laughed. "The entire family is. My parents used to bring me here every Sunday night for dinner before we moved out of Smallville. Dad loved the steak and mom loved the company." I smiled for a moment at the memory, then turned my gaze back to Lex who was watching me thoughtfully. "You don't seem exactly like the meat and potatoes type."  
  
"I don't?" He leaned forward, grabbed his glass of water and took a sip. Amazing how one simple action can be so… lovely.  
  
I looked back at the table, focused on the centerpiece – a cheap vase filled with daisies and one sunflower. "No. I mean, I see you as more the outdoor café type. You know, veggie burgers and fresh fish." I chanced a glance his direction, just to see if I might have offended him but he was just smiling at me and I relaxed a little. Actually, I began tapping my foot under the table. Nervous habit. Always had it.  
  
Not bothering to reply, Lex picked up his menu and looked it over. I took the opportunity to surreptitiously watch him from under my lashes. Its kind of hard to describe Lex Luthor to someone who hasn't actually seen him in person. I guess most people would be a little put off by his baldness, which was more than slightly strange on someone so young. I had asked Clark about it but he just told me that if Lex wanted me to know anything about him, then he would tell me. Damn cousin. Personally, I thought he was incredibly beautiful bald. Not that I would ever, even on risk of death, admit such a thing aloud to anyone within the city limits of Smallville. Its just his skin was so flawless and pale and it looked so soft. I always wanted to touch him. Can you imagine Lex's reaction if his employee suddenly reached out and caressed his head? The very thought of it made me want to laugh. But I stifled the urge.  
  
Lex has beautiful eyes. Blue with flecks of silver and they can cut with just a glance. He must have perfected that look at a very young age. And sometimes, just occasionally, the mask of the rich and powerful son of Lionel Luthor would drop and his gaze would appear so vulnerable and sad that it brought tears to my eyes. It was so infrequent though that I usually found myself wondering if it had ever really happened or if I just imagined it. He has nice lips, too. Oh I know I really, really shouldn't be going there when it comes to my boss but they are nice. Not too full, not too thin, delicately colored. And a little scar on his upper lip that I'm dying to know how he came by. Sometimes if I stared at his mouth too long, I'd feel a sigh well up in me. Like now.  
  
"Aren't you going to look at the menu?" Lex asked, not glancing up. I kind of started at his question. I think he knew I was looking at him. And even if he didn't, he had to know by my reaction.  
  
"Erm… no. I doubt its changed much since I was last here. I'm a creature of habit. Have always ordered the same thing."  
  
Lex set his menu down, took another sip of water, watching me over the rim of his glass. "I've noticed," he commented, settling back against his chair. "And yet, surprisingly, you are not as predictable as one would believe."  
  
"Do you have a problem with predictability?" I asked.  
  
"People learn you too easily. It leaves you open for attack."  
  
"Do you believe everyone's out to attack you, Lex?"  
  
He was silent for a long moment before replying, "I've come to rely on the fact, actually."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Wow. What exactly did one say to something like that? As little as possible I believe. Luckily I was saved by Beth who returned to take our orders. Talk about predictable – Lex ordered soup and salad. I had to cover my laughter and he just quirked an eyebrow at me. I, on the other hand, ordered the filet mignon – medium rare, of course -- baked potato with everything and some deep fat fried okra. Oh yeah. I knew how to eat like a denizen of Smallville. Lex was staring at me with this sort of disbelieving expression when I finished. Just to have a little more fun, I ordered a glass of whole milk to wash it down with. How's that for unpredictable? I think he was used to women ordering a light salad with no dressing and water with lemon. I said as much. He laughed and nodded.  
  
"You're right, as a matter of fact." A pause. "Are you actually going to be able to eat all of that?"  
  
I widened my eyes a bit. "Actually, a month ago I doubt it. Now that I'm back to doing farm work at five-thirty every morning, my metabolism seems to be doing back flips and somersaults all over the place. Last night I beat Clark out for the last dinner roll. He was so not pleased with me."  
  
"How'd you do that?"  
  
"Distracted him," I grinned, glancing over at Lex. "I looked out the back door and said 'Hey, there's Lana'. That was all it took."  
  
Lex laughed. "Your cousin does have it bad for Miss Lang." A short silence, then, "And what about you, Sinjun? Is there someone you left back at college that you're pining for?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. "As if. In high school I was always the wall-flower – you know, the antithesis of Miss Lang. And in college… well, I guess I just developed such a severe distrust of men and their intentions that I've kind of done everything I can to make certain they stay away from me."  
  
Lex frowned. "There you go being unpredictable again. I never would have pictured you that way. I mean, you seem like you need a man in your life."  
  
I gave a very unladylike snort at that. "Gee, Lex. Thanks. I've always wanted to be co-dependent."  
  
He laughed and shook his head. "No, I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was, you should have someone there to appreciate you, to send you flowers and take you out and shower you in compliments. You deserve someone to do those things and more."  
  
Grabbing my glass of water for a sip, I smiled into it. "That's sweet of you. Frankly, I'd settle for someone who makes me laugh and blesses me when I sneeze."  
  
"You certainly don't ask for much, do you?"  
  
"Unlike you, Lex Luthor, the rest of us poor souls don't exactly have the world at our feet."  
  
Lex didn't reply to that but he did frown, looking away from me just as Beth and one of her sons brought us our food. Knowing I had said something wrong, and not certain how to take it back, I turned my attention to my food, making certain the steak was cooked just right and fiddling with my potato. I wondered how many dates Lex had who played with their food. Not that this was a date in even the broadest sense but he probably felt completely mortified at being seen with me. No doubt this would be the last time he would take his PR Director to lunch in public. Next time he might show up in the office with a brown bag of PB&J.  
  
At some point I realized I had lost my appetite. Maybe it was because Lex seemed to suddenly be doing his best to ignore me. I twirled my fork in the middle of my potato, my mind wandering to "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". NO wonder Richard Dreyfus was playing with his potatoes. It was kind of fun. Okay, so the silence between us was becoming more uncomfortable than I wanted to deal with. Even an argument would be better than this. With that thought, my mind turned to the article I had read in the office just before Lex had appeared. I stared at my plate for a long moment, chewing on my lower lip, knowing I was about to take a very big leap in what had been easy conversation between us but unable to stop myself from doing so.  
  
"Umm… Lex?"  
  
He flickered his gaze over at me. "Yes, Sinjun?"  
  
"Can I ask you something?"  
  
Lex set his fork down and leaned back, his gaze unwavering. I think he knew that what I was about to ask was probably something he would prefer not to talk about. Cautiously, he answered, "Go ahead."  
  
Take a deep breath. Remember to breathe. Stop fidgeting. Okay.  
  
"The chemical waste that was dumped on my uncle's farm, that killed his herd, how did that happen?" I lifted my eyes to meet his gaze.  
  
Surprisingly, Lex didn't appear so much pissed off as resigned. He looked away from me for a moment, as if speculating on how to respond. I prepared myself to be lied to. It seemed to be a habit of those in Smallville lately. And I doubted anyone could do it as well as a Luthor could. Plausible deniability, you know. When Lex finally turned his gaze back to me, it was unreadable once again but didn't exactly appear closed off. It was hard to decipher.  
  
"Truthfully?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"It had nothing to do with the plant. It had everything to do with me and an incident in my past. Someone decided to get back at me by attempting to ruin my relationship with the people of Smallville." He paused, then asked, "I take it you read about it in the files?"  
  
I sighed. "Yeah. I was curious as to why uncle Jonathon hasn't mentioned it. Guess he would rather pretend it never happened."  
  
Lex shook his head. "No, I think he would rather not mention it to you since you now work for his enemy."  
  
"You aren't an enemy to the Kent's," I denied, glancing at him.  
  
"He seems to think so." Lex leaned back onto the table, our gazes meeting. "Ever since I first arrived in town, I've been trying to prove to your uncle that I'm not my father. Unfortunately, that little incident only seemed to ground his opinion in fact."  
  
"It wasn't your fault, Lex," I told him. "Nor the fault of the plant." I paused, making a face. "Unless of course one were to bring up the little matter of how someone just walked in and got a hold of a bunch of chemical waste in the first place which could get a little sticky now that I think about it."  
  
Lex frowned. "Thank you. I feel much better now."  
  
"Oh! I didn't mean… hmmm… open mouth, insert foot."  
  
At least that got a semblance of a grin.  
  
"Wow. Food's getting cold. Why don't we eat?" Not subtle in the least but I turned my attention to my plate and after a few seconds so did he.  
  
We didn't say anything more until we climbed into his car and headed back to the plant. Today he was driving a black Porsche. Personally, I think Porsches are the ugliest cars in creation. Who knows? Maybe Lex didn't like them either. But I'm sure it was more of a status symbol than anything. A Hyundai could be the best car in the world but people like the Luthor's wouldn't drive one because everyone could. That would make them common. I'm sure that was the way that Lex was raised.  
  
Deciding to lighten the mood between us, I asked, "So how many cars do you own anyway?"  
  
He cast a sideways glance to me. "One for everyday of the week."  
  
I made a face. "Do you label your underwear by day of the week, too?"  
  
Lex grinned. "You mean you don't believe I throw them out after one wearing?"  
  
"Okay now that's just silly," I replied with a frown.  
  
He laughed.  
  
Good. Back to an easy repertoire between us. I tapped my fingers against the door handle, keeping my eyes diverted from the road. Lex Luthor really does drive like a maniac. It scares the hell out of me. Every time I ride with him, I tell myself I will never do so again. And then I do. Of course, knowing the way I reacted to Lex, he could probably talk me into going to Hell and back. I wouldn't bat an eyelash. I know, I'm treading on dangerous ground here. I must rid myself of this ridiculous fascination.  
  
Turning my focus back to work, I asked, "So anything on that water sample I gave you?"  
  
Silence. I glanced over to see Lex frowning. When he noticed my gaze he quickly changed his expression to one of neutrality and I realized I was just about to be lied to.  
  
"Nothing conclusive. Regular water."  
  
Regular water my… "I see." I tapped my fingers against the door handle. "Tell me, were you taught how to be this evasive or was it something you learned on your own?"  
  
"I'm not being evasive, Sinjun," Lex replied smoothly, not even giving me the courtesy of a glance. "There was nothing conclusive in those water samples to lead one to believe they had anything to do with the break-in."  
  
"So our raccoon was just carrying some bottled water with him in case he got thirsty," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"I don't see why you find a puddle of water in the basement of a factory so suspicious."  
  
He pulled the car onto the main road of the plant, and at the moment I wanted nothing more than to get out of that car and get back to work before I said something I'd regret.  
  
Oops. Too late. "I don't see why you find it necessary to lie to me," I retorted.  
  
Lex put the car in park and turned to regard me. I didn't meet his gaze, keeping my eyes focused on the building in front of me. "Why do you think I'm lying to you, Sinjun? Why would there be a need to lie? What do I have to hide from you?"  
  
I looked over at him. "You tell me."  
  
The hint of a smile on those perfect lips. "Trust me, if there was something I felt you needed to know, Sinjun, I would tell you."  
  
I glared, hard. I think my nostrils even flared. "How kind of you, Mr. Luthor. Perhaps the next time you have raccoon issues, you should discuss them with someone you actually trust as opposed to the hired help."  
  
I pushed the door open, got out and then turned and slammed it hard just to prove my point. Of course, it all would have been a much better exit if I hadn't trapped my purse strap in the door in the process. Oh yeah, I'm all about finesse. If I hadn't been so pissed, I probably would have been mortified beyond belief. Especially when I stood there trying to yank the damn thing free and Lex finally reached over and opened the door. Ah hell. I stumbled back a little in mid-pull – can you imagine if I had fallen on my butt?? – but luckily caught myself before I ended up looking like any worse of an idiot. And I really wanted to scratch that damn smile off of Lex's face as he watched me. Not wanting to deal with any further humiliation that I could focus onto myself, I turned abruptly to leave, faltering only when Lex's voice reached me:  
  
"It has nothing to do with hired help, Sinjun," his voice said behind me. "I don't trust anybody."  
  
Even if I had wanted to play psychiatrist and ask him why he had trust issues, at the moment I was still too angry and humiliated to reply. I just walked straight back to the office to immerse myself in work and files and bad press. I forced myself not to think about lunch or the conversation before, during or after. I didn't want to think about Lex. I was sick of thinking about Lex. He was the most confusing person I had ever in my life met. I mean, rich people were supposed to be easy to figure out, right? They were arrogant and greedy and superficial. And children of rich people were even worse. Because they were also spoilt and expected everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. Not too much depth there. So Lex Luthor, spoilt rich kid, should have fit that bill, right? Wrong. There was a lot more going on there than I could begin to decipher. And I didn't even know where to begin digging. Not that it should have mattered to me. Lex and I came from two different worlds and I was simply his employee and I doubted we would ever reach the point of casual friendship so why I should even bother trying to understand him I have no idea. Except that I was already drawn to him like a moth to a flame and unfortunately I had no cares at the moment as to whether or not I got burned.  
  
Lessons learned.  
  
*******  
  
  
  
I knew I didn't want that cell phone.  
  
This time it was shortly after midnight when it started whirring in my ear. Actually, I kept it on my night stand, just in case my boss decided he had something important enough to wake me up from sleep for. I tried to ignore it at first, thinking Lex could just tell me whatever it was in the morning but then something started nagging at me and I snatched it into my hand and hit "talk."  
  
"Lex, you're making this a habit," I yawned.  
  
"Sorry but this is Brandon, Lex's assistant."  
  
I didn't even know Lex had an assistant. "Oh. How did you – "  
  
"Please come to the castle as soon as possible. There has been a…situation."  
  
I sat up in bed, instantly awake at the tone of the man's voice. "Is Lex okay?"  
  
"He is… a bit shaken up."  
  
"I'll be right there."  
  
I hung up the phone, grabbed my jeans and a flannel shirt, shrugging into both of them before sliding into my Keds and hurrying out of the room across the hall where I knocked on Clark's door. Peaking my head in, I called out softly, "Clark? Clark, wake up!"  
  
"Hmmm? What is it? The house on fire?"  
  
"Something happened to Lex. Can you take me over there?"  
  
He was out of bed instantly. "What happened?"  
  
"I don't know. Do you know he has an assistant? Someone named Brandon. Anyway, he just called me. Said that something happened and Lex was shaken up." I leaned against the doorframe as my cousin slipped on his jeans and a t-shirt.  
  
"That's all he said?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Great. C'mon."  
  
We made it there in record time. I've never actually seen my cousin drive quite so recklessly. I've also never quite seen a home like Lex's except in movies and television. I had always thought when people referred to it as the "castle" that it simply meant it was the biggest home in Smallville. But no. It really was a castle. An actual, honest to goodness castle. Shipped over stone by stone from Scotland according to Clark. To say I was a little in awe was an understatement. I mean, who the hell would bother to uproot an old castle from Scotland and transplant it to the Heartland of America? Answer: an insane person. Or at least in my opinion. Wouldn't it make more sense to just keep it where it belongs and use it like a summer home or something? It was just… well, silly. A castle for one person? Didn't Lex get lonely in that enormous place? I know I would.  
  
I followed Clark along the walk to the main entrance where some young man was already standing, waiting for us at the door, dressed in a three piece suit and looking for all the world like he probably never bothered with something as useless as sleep.  
  
"Miss St. Claire. Thank you for coming so quickly. I am Brandon Miller."  
  
We shook hands. "Where's Lex?" I asked.  
  
"In his study."  
  
He turned and led us down the hallway. So far, I was unimpressed with the place. Oh sure, it was a castle and all but it just seemed more like a museum than a home. I could never be comfortable in it, always afraid that I would damage something and most likely carrying a can of dust spray around with me to wipe away every fingerprint I made.  
  
"So what happened?" Clark asked Brandon.  
  
"Someone got into the house and tried to kill Lex."  
  
Clark and I looked at each other, then back at the man in front of us. "What?" We asked simultaneously.  
  
He stopped beside a doorway and Clark, obviously knowing his way around, quickly passed through it, with me following close on his heels. Lex was seated on a leather couch near an empty hearth, a glass of liquor in his hands. He looked up as we entered and almost seemed relieved to see us. Or maybe it was relief to see Clark. After all, the last encounter we had didn't exactly end well.  
  
"Lex, what happened?" Clark demanded.  
  
Either it was because I'm a woman and women happen to notice details more quickly than men or its because I have stared so often at my boss that I immediately noticed his neck. I hurried over to the couch and took a seat beside him, not even hesitating to reach out and lightly touch the dark bruises that were forming on his skin. Lex flinched when I reached out to him, but I don't think it was from pain. I think he didn't want me to touch him. At the moment, I didn't care what he wanted and so ignored his reaction. Instead, I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him closer so I could look at the marks in the light. My fingertips grazed over his neck and he seemed to relax just a bit.  
  
"Who did this?" I asked, hating the sight of the discoloration against his pale skin.  
  
Lex shook his head. "I don't know. I woke up hands around my throat, choking me but it was too dark to see anything. I was able to finally dislodge my attacker off of me and I called out for Brandon but by the time I got the light on, there was no one… there." He seemed to choke on the last word for a moment and reached up reflexively to his neck.  
  
"Maybe you should go to the hospital," I suggested.  
  
"No. I'm fine."  
  
All men were such babies when it came to doctors.  
  
"I'm going to check your room," Clark told him. "Unless this was a ghost, there has to be some evidence as to who did this."  
  
I nodded. "And I'll help," I said, starting to rise to my feet when Lex grabbed my arm, holding me back. I looked at him with a frown but he just shook his head. Pursing my lips for a moment, I looked back at my cousin. "Actually, Lex and I need to talk about what will happen if the press get a hold of this. Holler if you find anything."  
  
"Holler? In this house?" Clark grinned and walked out.  
  
I turned back to Lex. "Why didn't you want me going with him?"  
  
Lex looked away from my gaze. "There was something else I didn't want to mention while Clark was here." He turned back to me, his expression grim. "After I got whoever it was off of me, I heard a splash, like water hitting the ground."  
  
I blinked, said nothing.  
  
"Brandon found a few drops of water near the door to the bathroom. A few more inside, leading to the sink. I had him make some samples…" He trailed off, looking away from the accusing gaze I was purposely flashing at him.  
  
"So this has something to do with the raccoon problem at the plant?" I asked.  
  
Lex nodded.  
  
Sighing, I stood and walked over to the desk on the other side of the room. Other than two flat screen monitors and his laptop, there wasn't much personality to it. No photos of loved ones or anything. There was a bust of Julius Caesar on the shelf across from it. Like I said, museum. I wandered over to the pool table covered in purple felt. Very cool. I picked up one of the balls and played with it for a moment., not looking up as Lex joined me. I could feel him watching me, waiting for me to say something. I want to crack the cue ball over his goddamned head. Instead I tossed it back to the table and turned to him.  
  
"So you gonna tell me what was in that sample of water at the plant that I gave you?"  
  
Lex frowned for a moment, remaining silent. When I was about to give up, he replied, "High concentrations of Radium and D-Glucose."  
  
"And that means what in English?'  
  
He ran a hand over his head, rubbing the back of his neck in agitation. "Sinjun – "  
  
"Lex, you hired me to take care of whatever messes your plant decides to get itself into," I told him. "If you can't trust me enough to be honest with me and let me do my job then maybe I should look for work elsewhere."  
  
"It's not that," he replied, turning back to me, holding my gaze. "I don't want you involved in things that could be dangerous. I'd rather keep you out of my father's line of sight."  
  
"What does this have to do with your father?"  
  
Lex sighed. "I believe it all goes back to Level Three and the experiments my father was obviously performing there but I don't know how its connected or where to begin looking." He walked away from me, pacing for a bit beside the pool table. He stopped in front of me once more. "I don't want you involved in this, Sinjun."  
  
"I don't think you have a choice in the matter, Lex," I replied. "If I'm going to take care of matters with the press and the townspeople regarding these little incidents that you and the plant are experiencing, then I need to know what is going on."  
  
"If anything happens to you, your uncle – "  
  
"Let me take care of uncle Jon, Lex," I told him, reaching out to touch his arm. This time he didn't pull away. "I'm a big girl. I don't need you looking out for me."  
  
"I'm your boss. I feel responsible for you."  
  
I growled, causing Lex to look at me in surprise. "Are all billionaires this impossible to reason with?" I demanded.  
  
Lex smiled at me. "Yes. I do believe we are."  
  
Clark returned saying he couldn't find anything that appeared out of the ordinary. Lex and I glanced at one another. I could tell he was asking me not to get Clark involved in this and for the first time that night, I actually agreed with him. The less people who thought this had any connection to the Level Three incident the better. I was uncomfortable about leaving Lex alone though after the attack. Clark must have felt the same because he offered for us to stay there but Lex declined, saying that he would be fine and Brandon was there and lightning rarely struck in the same place twice. I couldn't help but smart off that lightning had nothing to do with this. Lex just smiled and told us to go home.  
  
"Will you be in tomorrow?" I asked. I had questions that needed to be discussed.  
  
Lex watched me for a moment before answering. I think he knew what I wanted. "Bright and early."  
  
I nodded. "Okay. See you then. Try not to get murdered, okay?"  
  
"I'll do my best."  
  
Clark and I were silent as we got back into the truck. He started the engine, turned to me. "You like him, don't you?"  
  
I gave him my haughtiest expression. "What gives you that idea?"  
  
Clark shrugged, putting the truck in gear and heading out to the main rode. I could see him grinning by the dashboard light. "Just a hunch."  
  
"Well, you'd make a terrible psychic because you couldn't be further from the truth."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
"If you say so, Sinj."  
  
Damn cousin.  
  
I was still frowning at him when we got home. He gave me this knowing look as we disappeared into our separate rooms. I knew he wasn't going to let this just slide by. He was my younger cousin, after all. It was his job to torment me. So, I had to relegate myself to that fact and move on, all the while thinking of various excuses I could give him whenever the need arose.  
  
Unable to go back to sleep, and wanting to be awake in case the phone rang, I went through some of the boxes in my closet that I had brought with my from my parents house. Finding one filled with photo albums, I sat back on my bed, the photos piled around me, and spent the next few hours reminiscing. I swear there was a different photo album for every year of my life, filled with pictures of all of us together, some of me and Clark around the farm as kids, one of us on the tractor with uncle Jonathon, another of us swimming in the river. There were photos with Santa and the Easter bunny and our new house in the suburbs and school plays, various science fairs, horse riding competitions when we were still in Smallville and I had dreamed of one day being on the Olympic team. Unfortunately, there were no stables in the suburbs.  
  
I paused when I opened the fifth book. The first picture that greeted me was one of my father outside the chemical plant in Smallville. I recognized it immediately because it was taken just outside the office at the bottom of the stairs. He was standing in between two men, their arms over each others shoulders, all laughing into the camera. Neither of the other two men were familiar to me. Folding back the plastic, I pulled the photo from the page and turned it over. The date, written in my mother's neat cursive, read 1992. The year my father was transferred to plant number one and we moved out of Smallville and into the suburbs. I worried my lower lip for the next few minutes while I continued to stare at the photo. I knew the two men appeared familiar to me, but I could not recall their names. That was curious because it was obvious by the picture that the three men were very close, so it was unlikely that a simple move to the suburbs would have prevented them from remaining friends. So why didn't I remember them being around in those later years?  
  
By five I was outside, completing my chores, in by six to take my shower and prepare for work before joining aunt Martha in the kitchen to help with breakfast. I had the photo with me when I reached the kitchen and after pouring myself a cup of coffee, I held it out to my aunt.  
  
"Do you know who the men are in this photo with my father?"  
  
Wiping her hands on a towel first, she took the picture and glanced at it for a moment. "The one on the right is Billy Moore – he's the father of Chris, the boy that almost drowned last week. The other man is Max Reynolds. They both worked with your father at the plant. The three of them had been best friends since grade school." She smiled, handing it back to me.  
  
"I don't understand." I took the photo, leaning against the counter while I stared at it. "If they were so close, why did they lose touch when we moved? It's not as if we were on the other side of the country or anything."  
  
"Max disappeared about the same time your family moved."  
  
"Disappeared? What do you mean 'disappeared'?"  
  
Aunt Martha looked up form the pan of eggs she was frying. "He just left town. Never said where he was going or why. Just packed up and left one day. Hasn't been back since."  
  
I frowned. "And Mr.Moore?"  
  
Her expression turned sorrowful. "He died of cancer a few months after your father and Max left. It'd gone undetected until it was too late and they discovered a tumor on his brain stem. That poor family – it was a horrible illness. Chris had been so young when it happened."  
  
I looked back down at the picture. It was truly a moment captured in time. Two of those pictured were dead, the other very possibly so. Something about it bothered me, though I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was just because my father had never mentioned them, two people who had been his best friends since childhood. If Max Reynolds were still alive, surely he would have come to my parent's funeral. Tucking the picture into the pocket of my purse, I put it from my mind and sat down to breakfast.  
  
Clark and uncle Jonathon entered the kitchen a few minutes later and we each shared our plans for the day ahead while we ate. About halfway through the conversation, my uncle finally asked us where we had been the night before and Clark and I flashed each other that "Oh we should have expected this" look. My cousin told his parents about the strange incident at Lex's. While aunt Martha seemed concerned about Lex, uncle Jonathon told us to be careful because someone like Lex Luthor had a lot of enemies and we didn't need to get caught up in his problems. I frowned at that but remained silent. I couldn't really blame my uncle for his misgivings about Lex, especially after the herd incident, but I did feel he needed to give him another chance.  
  
It was about two minutes later when there was a knock at the screen door and we turned to find the topic of our conversation standing on the porch. I couldn't help but wonder if his ears were burning.  
  
"Good morning, Lex," aunt Martha called out, rising from her chair and inviting him to step inside.  
  
"Morning Mrs. Kent. Mr. Kent." My uncle didn't even acknowledge his greeting, just went back to eating. Lex stood there and watched him for a long moment before finally looking at me and Clark. He was looking all fresh and cool dressed in black slacks and a dark blue shirt that deepened the color of his eyes. "Hey."  
  
"Hey Lex." Clark grinned. "Good to see you still alive."  
  
"Yeah," I added, taking a sip of my juice. "Nice to know I don't have to try to explain your unexpected demise to the press."  
  
"We heard about what happened, Lex," aunt Martha told him, her expression one of concern as she looked at him. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm fine, thank you, Mrs. Kent." He glanced over at me. "I thought I'd offer you a ride to the plant."  
  
I smiled. "Great! I love starting the morning with a lap in the Indy 500."  
  
Lex sighed, glanced over at my uncle who was frowning into his plate. I rolled my eyes. These two were going to be the death of me.  
  
"Everyone around here really needs to lighten up," I muttered, grabbing my purse and standing to join Lex. "Want a ride to school, Clark?"  
  
"He'll take the bus," uncle Jonathon replied in a tone that implied no argument.  
  
Lex stiffened beside me, turned and exited through the door. Aunt Martha flashed me a look of apology and Clark just shrugged. I said goodbye and walked outside to join Lex where he stood waiting for me in the yard, the sun having just barely cleared the horizon. Lex didn't move when I reached him, just kept staring at the house. I sighed, wanting very much to reach out and take his hand, think of something to say. In the end, he was the first to speak.  
  
"He hates me quite a bit."  
  
"No, Lex." I shook my head. "Uncle Jonathon doesn't hate anyone. It isn't in him to do so."  
  
"Then I guess I should be flattered for accomplishing what others haven't," he said bitterly.  
  
I tugged on his sleeve. "Come on, you need to get me to work before my boss gets pissed."  
  
Lex glanced over at me, his eyes shining silver in the morning sunlight. He gave me a small smile. "Sounds like a slave driver."  
  
"Oh, he's the worst." I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Maybe I should tell him to ease up on you."  
  
"Then I wouldn't feel needed."  
  
Lex looked like he wanted to say something else but instead he just shook his head, smiled and headed toward the car. I didn't pry for him to say what he was thinking, just did my duty as the hired help and climbed into the car – a Lamborghini this time, silver – and sat back, hoping that karma would remain on my side and we'd make it to the plant in one piece. He sat there for a while before he started the car, then he turned to me and grinned.  
  
"Sinjun."  
  
"Yeah, Lex?"  
  
"You're a lot more than just the 'hired help'. I hope you know that. I want you to know that."  
  
I felt myself redden, had to look away from his intense regard. "Lex."  
  
"Yes, Sinjun?"  
  
"When you start trusting me, then I'll know." I looked over at him. He was staring at a fixed point on the dashboard. "For now, just get me to the plant in one piece, okay?"  
  
He looked up at that, caught my smile, smiled back. "I'm not making any guarantees."  
  
Of course not. 


	4. Part One - Chapter Four

Part One – Coming Home  
  
1.1 Chapter Four  
  
Why follow me to higher ground?  
  
Lost as you swear I am.  
  
Don't throw away your basic needs,  
  
Ambiance and vanity.  
  
December – Collective Soul  
  
  
  
  
  
Lex wouldn't tell me much more about what had happened the night before. It was almost as if he were convincing himself that he had been mistaken when he thought he had heard a splash. Then again, maybe he was just trying to confuse me, to center my attention other than where it should be. He wouldn't even talk about the Radium and D-Glucose found in the water sample, saying it really shouldn't have anything to do with whatever was going on. Of course, I didn't believe him and the whole trust issue thing only magnified between us to the point I didn't even want to be in the office with him anymore. After two hours of going in circles, I finally said I had some work to do and excused myself from his presence. I located Gabe, asked him where old personnel files were kept and wound my way into the back area of Level Two into a tiny storeroom filled with filing cabinets. Finding the one I needed, I began sorting through the files.  
  
It was well after lunch and I was beginning to develop a headache. I swore I had to have been missing something. There were files on every employee in there – every employee except the three pictured in the photograph I had found. At first, I thought that my father's wasn't in there because he had been transferred and maybe the file had gone with him. But that didn't explain why Max Reynolds and Billy Moore's files were missing as well. It was almost as if they had never been employed at LuthorCorp. Frowning, I sat amidst the pile of folders and tried hard to figure out what was missing. That was when I remembered Earl Jenkins. Sitting up, I plowed through the files once more, looking closely at every name from A to Z. Even putting them in alphabetical order twice. Unfortunately, there seemed to be no locatable file on Earl either. Now my curiosity was really heightened. Stuffing the files back into the cabinet, not really caring at the moment what particular order they were in, I locked the room and headed back up to Lex's office.  
  
I was actually a little surprised to still see him there. He was seated at his desk, leaning forward against it, talking on his cell. He glanced up when I entered and waved me over. Hoping I wasn't interrupting anything, I crept quietly over to one of the chairs in front of the enormous desk and sat down. My purse was sitting on the floor where I had left it, so I reached over and pulled the photo out, holding it in my lap. I tried not to listen to Lex's conversation, even though it was undoubtedly unimportant or he wouldn't have invited me in. It sounded like it had something to do with an antique exhibit coming up the following month at a gallery he owned in Metropolis. I don't know how he kept all of his business ventures straight.  
  
Setting his phone down, Lex looked up at me, raised his eyebrows. "Thought you weren't going to speak to me after the way you marched out of here earlier."  
  
I ignored that. "Is there any reason why files on some employees would not be kept in the personnel records?"  
  
Lex leaned back in his chair, frowned. "No reason that I can think of. Why?"  
  
I tossed him the photo, waiting until he picked it up to continue. "The man on the left is Max Reynolds. He worked here. The man on the right is Billy Moore. He worked here, too. Except, neither of them have files on record."  
  
"Whose the man in the middle?"  
  
I hesitated. "My father." A pause. "I thought that maybe his was gone because he was transferred. But that wouldn't explain the other two."  
  
Standing, Lex walked around to the front of the desk, still looking at the photo, and shook his head. "No. During a transfer they would have simply sent copies of his files over to the other plant and kept the originals here. There is no reason there shouldn't be files on all three men. Are you certain you checked thoroughly?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
He leaned back against the desk, handing me the photo, and folding his arms over his chest. "So what made you decide to look into their files in the first place?"  
  
I chewed on my lower lip for a moment then looked up at him. "A hunch?"  
  
A cocked eyebrow. "Continue."  
  
"I was talking to aunt Martha this morning, asking about this photo because I didn't remember my dad keeping in touch with these two men after we left Smallville. It was obvious they were friends. According to my aunt, they were best friends. But she said that Max disappeared shortly after my family left – just picked up and left, no warning, no nothing. And Billy Moore died a few months later from a cancerous tumor on his brain stem."  
  
Lex shrugged. "And?"  
  
"Billy Moore is the father of Chris Moore, a classmate and old friend of Clarks. Last week he drowned in a pond on his family's property. They were able to revive him, thankfully."  
  
"I still don't understand your inquiries."  
  
I sighed, got to my feet, wandered around the office for a moment. Turning back to Lex I shrugged. "Truthfully, I don't either but there are too many strange occurrences happening here. And then the files… I noticed that there was no file on Earl Jenkins either."  
  
"It was probably pulled during the hostage situation and never returned," Lex offered.  
  
"No. I checked. Everywhere. There is no file, Lex." I paused, staring down at the picture for a moment before I looked back up at him. "Do you think my father and these other men may have all worked on Level Three?"  
  
He was silent for a long moment, gazing down at the photo in my hands before meeting my eyes. "It's possible. I'll have to do some checking though."  
  
"I'd appreciate it."  
  
Lex frowned. "May I ask why? It's the past, Sinjun. Why would you want to dredge that up?"  
  
I shrugged. "Curiosity, I guess. Maybe I didn't know my father as well as I thought I did."  
  
I heard Lex moving toward me but that still didn't prepare me for the feel of his fingers against my chin or the look of concern in his eyes when he raised my head to meet his gaze. "Whatever wrongdoing occurred on Level Three was done by my father, Sinjun, and no one else. I think you're searching for answers to questions that you shouldn't be asking to begin with."  
  
"I figured you'd say that." I pulled away from him and stepped back. "Plausible deniability, eh Lex?"  
  
His gaze hardened and I sighed, looking away. "What do you want from me, Sinjun?" He asked.  
  
"The truth." I turned back to him. "I want to know what exactly my father was doing when he worked here at plant number three."  
  
"And what if you don't like the truth? Then what?"  
  
"I'll have to deal with it, won't I?" Lex appeared as if he were about to strengthen his resolve, so I moved forward, placing my hand on his arm. "Please, Lex? I know you can find out. I just… need to know."  
  
A calculating stare. Finally, Lex nodded. "I'll see what I can do, Sinjun."  
  
I smiled. "Thank you, Lex."  
  
Without thinking, I leaned forward and up and kissed his cheek. His skin really was as soft as I had imagined it would be. I think maybe I lingered a little too long there, but he smelled even better up close and all I could think about was trailing my mouth down his cheek and to his neck and… Hell. Luckily I didn't act on that desire. When I stepped back, Lex was watching me, his expression as unreadable as usual, his head slightly cocked. He almost appeared slightly amused. Or maybe bemused. I really couldn't say. It unnerved me all too hell though and I found myself fidgeting again. Lex watched me for a moment longer then turned and went back to his desk. I expelled a soft breath and walked over to the bar to grab a bottle of water.  
  
"Grab me one, too."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Please?" I grabbed an extra bottle, walked over to his desk, set it in front of him, waited. Nothing. I sighed. "You're welcome."  
  
Lex glanced up at me. "What?"  
  
"Nothing." I waved my hand and dropped into the chair across from him. He was grinning at me and I realized that he had been teasing me the whole time. I just shook my head and drank my water. "So, anything new?"  
  
We spent the next two hours discussing how to handle past lawsuits that were finally coming to court against the company from the time Lex's father had been in charge. They ranged anywhere from unlawful termination to claims that family members had developed cancer during their employment at the plant. The government had already threatened more than a few times to officially look into the matter but Lionel Luthor obviously had the right people on the Senate in his pockets because nothing ever came to fruition. Now that Lex was in charge though, I felt it might do some good to invite the government out for a tour, a behind-the-scenes look at the operations. I said as much to Lex. At first he must have thought I had lost my mind but as I explained my idea he slowly began to accept it. There was nothing illegal going on, no hush-hush experiments, all disposal laws were being followed and the current employees seemed quite happy. I suggested sending an invitation for some representatives to come out at the end of summer, giving us more time to make certain everything was up to specs and strengthen employee relations. Lex wondered aloud if he were paying me enough. Of course I replied that he wasn't and he laughed.  
  
"Hey, am I interrupting anything?"  
  
We turned to see Clark leaning in the doorway, back pack slung over his shoulder, grinning at us.  
  
"You guys sound like you're having too much fun to be working," he commented as he walked into the office.  
  
"This is what grown ups do at work, beanie," I told him with a smirk. "Society hides that fact from kids. We don't want you to know that work is actually much more fun than school."  
  
He stuck his tongue out at me and I smacked his arm, then winced. He's all muscle and it hurt my hand.  
  
"And what brings you here, Clark?" Lex asked, watching us from behind his desk.  
  
Clark shrugged, sitting in the chair beside me. "Thought I'd hang out here until dad picked Sinjun up. The bus has a stop about a mile from here."  
  
"Actually Clark, Lex was going to drive me home," I replied. "You could probably ride on top of the car."  
  
"And ruin my paint job?" Lex asked with a raised brow.  
  
"Ah, c'mon, Lex," I teased. "Clark would make a great hood ornament. Something every billionaire needs."  
  
Clark and I laughed at Lex's frown. "Tell you what." Lex dug into his pocket and tossed me a set of keys. "You take the car. I have a ton of stuff still to do and a few phone calls to make before I can get out of here. We'll deal with getting it back to me tomorrow."  
  
I stared at him, uncomprehending for a moment. "You're gonna let me drive your Lamborghini?"  
  
Lex shrugged, looking back down at the paperwork in front of him. "Go on and get the kid home. We'll discuss this idea of yours more tomorrow."  
  
I glanced over at Clark who was grinning. I knew he would fight me for a chance to drive the thing but there was no way in hell I was giving these keys up. Grabbing my purse, I started toward the door, Clark close on my heels. Halfway through the door, I turned back to find Lex watching us, his gray eyes thoughtful. I wanted very much to invite him back to the farm for dinner, but I knew he wouldn't accept. I wished things were different between him and my uncle. I hated the fact that he was alone so much.  
  
Clark and I practically ran out to the car. It's one thing to be freaked when Lex is driving because he drives like an insane person. Its quite another to be driving a Lamborghini yourself. I made myself comfortable in the driver's seat while Clark pushed the passenger seat back to give himself more leg room. I played with the mirrors, certain that Lex would probably curse my name a few times when he had to change everything back and that just made me smile. Buckling our seats belt, I roared the engine to life, grinning like a fool and pulled out of the plant parking lot.  
  
0 to 70 in a snap. I laughed, switched gears, tore down Highway 5 like a maniac. I suddenly began to understand why Lex drove the way he did. There really was no other way to drive a car like this. Clark chuckled beside me, told me he doubted that Lex would pay for any ticket that the local sheriff decided to give me. I just grinned and commented that I doubted the local sheriff would ever make the mistake of pulling Lex Luthor's car over.  
  
Nearing a corner, I placed my foot on the brake to slow down before going into it. The only problem was, nothing happened. I pressed again, only this time discovering that the peddle was going easily to the floor without making a bit of difference in the speed of the car. My eyes widened.  
  
"Ummm… Clark?"  
  
He glanced over at me just as we went into the turn at about seventy five miles an hour. Luckily it wasn't overly sharp and I was able to take it wide, the outside wheels skidding over the shoulder. "What are you doing?" He asked, gripping the edge of his seat.  
  
"The brakes aren't working!" I snapped, anger overriding fear at the moment.  
  
"Try again."  
  
"You think I haven't been this entire time?!"  
  
Another straightaway. Clark leaned over me as if to assure himself that I was indeed pressing the right peddle. "Down shift."  
  
I did. It didn't do much. The road we were on started into a decline and we began to pick up speed. A narrow bridge, spanning a long dried up creek, was coming up just ahead and so was another car. I gripped the steering wheel in a panic.  
  
"Clark! What do we do?!"  
  
He reached over and unbuckled my seat belt, and then did the same to his own.  
  
"How is that supposed to help me from going through the windshield?" I demanded, my heart thudding erratically against my chest as the bridge and oncoming traffic drew ever nearer.  
  
"It isn't. We're going to jump."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Turn the wheel to the right. Jump when I say."  
  
"Clark, I can't do this!" I had never been so scared in my life.  
  
"Yes you can. Just put your hand on the door handle… go on… that's it. Now turn the wheel… okay… ready?… we'll be okay, Sinj. Just tuck and roll, like we used to do when we jumped off horses – "  
  
"Horses don't go seventy fucking miles an hour!"  
  
"Jump!!"  
  
"Shit!"  
  
I hit the edge of the asphalt as I dove out and the car careened off the road toward the empty creek bed. I bounced like twice against the road, heard something pop, then felt nothing but burning pain along my legs and arms as I rolled to a stop. I laid there unmoving as I heard the car slam into the trees and the oncoming traffic screeched to a stop across the road. It hurt too much to move so I just continued to remain immobile, blinking at the grass and weeds that were growing up around me.  
  
"Sinj? Hon, can you hear me?" Clark asked frantically beside me.  
  
I felt his hands touch me and I moaned against the pain.  
  
"Hang on, Sinj. You'll be okay."  
  
I didn't think so. I had just destroyed my boss's car.  
  
Well, I wasn't completely okay. When we finally got to the hospital – the time throughout which I was in some major pain – I was told I had dislocated my shoulder. And if you think that hurts, you can't even begin to imagine what its like to have it relocated! I am woman enough to admit I cried. Luckily it was just me and the doctor and a nurse in the room, though I'm sure they heard my scream into the next county. The rest of me was covered in some fairly severe scrapes and bruises, including a nice nasty purple and black bruise on my hip. It hurt to move, it hurt to lay down, it hurt to breathe. The amazing part was, Clark didn't have a single mark on him. He claimed it was because he landed on the soft grass and dirt on the side of the road. Lucky bastard.  
  
Aunt Martha and uncle Jonathon were with Clark in the waiting area when I hobbled out of the exam room, complete with shoulder sling. They both rushed over to me immediately, tripping over each other's sentences asking if I was all right and what had happened. I tried to explain it all to uncle Jonathon, while also assuring aunt Martha that I was fine, just a little sore.  
  
That's when Lex walked in. I glanced over to my right just in time to see him enter through the doors and hurry toward us. Just seeing him would normally put a smile on my face but this time it made me panic because I had destroyed his car. That beautiful silver Lamborghini that had a license plate that read Lx_Luthr was now tied around a tree by the empty creek bed in a knot or two.  
  
"Sinjun, are you – " he began.  
  
But he didn't get very far because I burst into tears. I felt positively miserable. I was in pain and I had crashed Lex Luthor's car and I really didn't think the day could get much worse. I didn't even stop to consider how surprised I should have been when I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me against a soft, black cashmere coat. I barely even registered that much-beloved scent of liquor, spices and mint that I was coming to know so well. Gentle hands caressed my back and hair, careful not to disturb my shoulder.  
  
I sniffed. "I… I killed your car, Lex."  
  
I think I heard muffled laughter above me. "Don't you worry about that. All that matters is that you and Clark are all right."  
  
I wasn't listening. "I… I'll try to pay you back or something. I know we might both be dead of old age by then but – "  
  
Lex held me away from him, lifting my chin to meet his gaze. He was smiling at me. Not the smile I had gotten used to – the slightly-jaded, mysterious, mostly mocking smile that made you want to slap his handsome face. No, this one was sweeter, open and honest. "Sinjun, don't worry about the car. Weren't you the one just the other day who was teasing me for owning so many?"  
  
"But – "  
  
"Don't argue with a Luthor," he told me. "You're only going to lose." He reached out and brushed a tear from my cheek.  
  
I'd never seen him like this before and it was a little disconcerting. Not that I minded. Sometimes I felt starved for attention from him, like I fed on it or something. Just being near Lex electrified me. Having him treat me with such special consideration was like a dream. Let's face it, I don't live in a fairy tale world. I'm the furthest from Lex Luthor's ideal woman. But it was nice to know that he at least knew I was there.  
  
"Care to explain what happened?" Uncle Jonathon was suddenly standing beside us, arms crossed over his chest, glaring at Lex.  
  
Lex almost jerked away from me, casting his gaze to my uncle. His expression of concern hardened slightly, wiped clean by that unreadable mask he always wore. The one that seemed to say no one and nothing could touch him. "That's what I came here to find out," he replied steadily. "The police said something about the brakes going out – "  
  
"And of course you had no knowledge of the faulty brakes before you gave your permission for my niece and son to drive your car home," uncle Jonathon accused.  
  
Lex reacted as if he had been slapped, his eyes darkening. "Are you implying – "  
  
"I'm not implying a thing, Lex," my uncle interrupted. "I'm flat out asking what you had to do with this."  
  
"Dad – " Clark moved up beside me, ready to jump in and defend Lex but I beat him to it.  
  
"Uncle Jon you can't possibly blame this on Lex! Something was wrong with the brakes – that's it. For what possible reason would he have to cause either of us harm? Clark's his best friend and I'm his employee!"  
  
"I don't care what – " Uncle Jonathon was quickly cut off by aunt Martha, the peacemaker.  
  
"Jonathon, why don't we get the kids home?" She suggested, casting an apologetic glance at Lex. "They both obviously need some food and rest." And you need to calm down, her tone implied.  
  
He continued to glare at Lex for another long, uncomfortable moment before nodding and walking off toward the hospital entrance. Martha sighed, gave an embarrassed smile to all of us and followed him.  
  
"Sorry about that, Lex," Clark told the silent man in front of us. "We'd better get going. C'mon, Sinj."  
  
"I'll be right there."  
  
He nodded and hurried off after his parents. I turned back to Lex, whose expression had once more transformed from uncaring to vulnerable. He was gazing off in the direction the Kents had taken before he finally turned his eyes to me. Without another thought, I moved to him, wrapping my good arm around his waist and hugging him tightly. He stiffened at first, then relaxed and hugged me back.  
  
"I am sorry about the car, Lex," I whispered against the lapel of his coat.  
  
"It's all right, Sinjun. When you make your first billion, you can buy me a new one."  
  
I smiled, pulled back to look up at him. "Uncle Jon was just freaked because of what could have happened, Lex. Please don't hold that against him. He's just not thinking rationally right now."  
  
"Sinjun, when are you going to learn?" Lex attempted a smile but there was a touch of sorrow hidden behind it. "Whatever bad happens in Smallville has to be the fault of the Luthors. Which makes me directly responsible."  
  
"I don't believe that, Lex." I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Let me know if the police find anything out about the brakes, okay?"  
  
He nodded, not saying anything, watching me as I turned and made my way towards the hospital entrance and the truck that waited to take me back to the farm.  
  
****  
  
It was late and I had taken a few pain pills to dull the throbbing of my shoulder but I was still too wound up to sleep. Glad to know I wasn't the only one feeling restless, I joined Clark out in his loft, where he had been staring through his telescope at the stars. Actually, I knew he was using the device to stare a Lana Lang but I wasn't going to tease him about it. Not when I knew he could just as easily turn the tables on me. At supper tonight, even uncle Jonathon had mentioned that Lex and I seemed a little too friendly for an employer/employee relationship. I had somehow managed to keep my tongue. I knew he was just worried about me but I was getting tired of feeling like a twelve year old. So all I did was assure him that Lex and I came from two different worlds and he had nothing to worry about.  
  
I was stretched out on the couch in the loft, flipping through Clark's chemistry book while he sat near the telescope, staring up at the stars. We didn't really say anything to each other, just sort of enjoyed the companionable silence. At one point he tossed a bag of chocolate chip cookies over to me that he had brought from the house. I wasn't the least bit surprised that he had a stash of food up there.  
  
"Do you think I would look for D-Glucose under "G" for Glucose or "D" for D?" I asked after a bit, glancing over my shoulder, wincing at the action.  
  
"No idea." Clark shrugged.  
  
"You're a lot of help," I muttered, flipping to the index. I scanned through the pages, becoming so engrossed in the text that I was having difficulty understanding, that I jumped, dropping the book to the floor when Lex's voice called out:  
  
"Mind if I join you?"  
  
"Lex," Clark greeted with a surprised smile. "We didn't hear you pull up."  
  
"I parked the car a little down the road to spare myself the wrath of your father." He approached the couch, looking down at me. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like I'm floating." I smiled.  
  
"Codeine," Clark pointed out. "But she refuses to sleep."  
  
Lex leaned over and picked up the text book I had dropped. "Going back to school, Sinjun?" He asked, handing it back to me.  
  
"No. But lately I have become curious as to certain substances and their chemical reactions to one another and how they would relate to fertilizer."  
  
Lex raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He looked incredibly spectacular in his black pants and matching black cashmere shirt with the v-front, hands shoved in his pockets, staring down at me. I wriggled into a sitting position, attempting not to wince as I did so, curling my feet under me to make room for him on the couch. Noting the silent invitation, he sat down, his gaze moving away from me to stare at the floor in front of him. I cast a glance toward Clark who shrugged. We had no idea what he was doing there.  
  
"Lex?" I questioned quietly.  
  
He looked up at me, startled, as if he had forgotten we were there. Then he shook his head as if at some mental thought he was trying to make go away. "Spoke with the police this evening. The brake line was cut on the car."  
  
I blinked. I heard Clark sort of gasp or something behind me.  
  
"Someone was trying to kill you again," I said softly.  
  
Lex nodded. "Yeah. And almost succeeded in killing you."  
  
"We're fine, Lex," Clark told him. "Would have even been better had Sinjun not attempted to mimic your driving skills."  
  
"You're only taking advantage of picking on me because you know I can't do anything about it right now," I commented, rolling my eyes at my cousin. Turning my gaze back to Lex, who was silently watching the both of us, I asked, "And what else?"  
  
He smiled in that condescending way of his and shook his head. "Sinjun, I don't know what – "  
  
"Stop right there, Lex. This is getting serious. Tell me what else you found."  
  
I could tell he was calculating exactly what he could and could not get away with telling me. God, I just wished he would trust me. Finally, Lex sighed, looking away from me as he spoke, "There were traces of the same water sample in the engine."  
  
"And they matched the samples from your bedroom as well, didn't they?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
Clark got up and walked over to hover above us. "What are you two talking about?"  
  
"Remember the break-in at the plant?" I looked up at my cousin and waited for his nod. "While there I found a curious water sample that I had Lex check out. It smelled and felt funny to me – not quite like water but still. What bothered me was how much it smelled like fertilizer. The same strange substance was found in his room the night he was attacked and now it appears in the engine of the Lamborghini."  
  
"What was in the water?"  
  
"High concentrations of Radium and D-Glucose," Lex answered looking at Clark before turning his gaze to me. "That wasn't all, either."  
  
I shook my head with a wry laugh. "Of course not, Lex. Why should I ever expect you to tell me the complete truth?"  
  
We stared at one another for a moment before he continued, "There were traces of meteor dust in there as well -- the same meteors that hit Smallville." Lex paused, and I could tell he was wondering if he should continue. Then, as if he had made his decision, he added, "I was able to locate some information regarding my father's experiments on Level Three."  
  
Clark and I looked at him sharply.  
  
"The compound he was trying to create included high levels of Radium and D- Glucose as well as the meteor dust."  
  
I frowned but said nothing. Clark turned and walked away from us, deep in his own thoughts. He paced around the loft for a few minutes while the silence continued.  
  
"This is going to sound weird," Clark said finally, coming to stop in front of us once more.  
  
"I can handle weird," I replied. Lex nodded.  
  
"Well, remember Chris Moore, who drowned?" He paused while we nodded. "Well, yesterday I stopped to talk to him, ask him how he was and stuff. He… smelled funny… like… "  
  
"Fertilizer?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.  
  
Clark nodded. "Yeah. And when I touched him he felt… wet. I was going to ask him about but then Chloe and Pete showed up and Chris took off." Clark shrugged. "I don't know how he fits into all of this though."  
  
"I do," I replied, looking at Lex. "Chris's father worked at the plant with my father. Its very possible he worked on those secret experiments on Level Three. He died of a tumor shortly after my family left Smallville. Its very possible that Chris blames the Luthors for what happened to his father."  
  
Lex just shook his head wryly. "Ask me if I'm surprised."  
  
"I just don't understand the water samples," Clark commented.  
  
Lex stood and walked away from the couch. I think he wanted out of the conversation, was most likely regretting the fact that he came and shared with us. I know he wasn't used to asking others for help, wasn't used to having them willing to offer it. He wanted to keep us out of this but the problem was, we were already a part of it. Lex would just have to understand that. I had been determined not to let it go since the attack on Lex in his home but now I knew Clark and I would be equally determined, seeing as how our own lives had been threatened. The problem was convincing Lex that he had to continue to keep us in the loop. I yawned.  
  
"You need to get some sleep." It was Lex who had come to stand beside me once again. Clark was nodding in agreement.  
  
"I'm fine," I protested, glaring at both of them.  
  
Lex ignored me, turned to my cousin. "You should get her to bed. We can discuss this more later."  
  
Clark nodded, leaned over me and the next thing I knew he was lifting me into his arms. I kicked in protest.  
  
"Hey! Put me down, you overgrown brute! Lex, tell him – "  
  
"You need to get your rest, Sinjun," Lex interrupted, grinning at me and Clark. "You can barely keep your eyes open as it is."  
  
Clark started down the steps of the loft with Lex following us. I pouted. "I can walk, you know."  
  
My cousin nodded. "Yeah but you wouldn't. You would stubbornly stay up there on that couch and make the both of us stay up with you while you continue to play Nancy Drew."  
  
"I'll talk to you two later," Lex called out as we exited the barn and he headed back down the road.  
  
Clark stopped to say goodbye and I leaned over his shoulder. "Lex?"  
  
He stopped and turned to look at us, half-hidden in the darkness.  
  
"Promise you won't shut us out?"  
  
I think he smiled. I couldn't tell. "I promise, Sinjun." He turned and disappeared down the road.  
  
Clark started back toward the house while I tapped my fingers impatiently against his shoulder. Fifteen years old and he was carrying me around like I was a sack of flour. If I didn't know better, I would wonder just exactly what it was my aunt and uncle had been feeding him all of these years. It made you wonder what his biological parents had been like. Weight lifters, perhaps? Oxen?  
  
"He won't, you know," I commented as we entered the house and Clark gently set me on my feet."  
  
"Won't what?" He glanced down at me.  
  
"Lex won't tell us anymore than he just did. In fact, he is regretting that he came here at all tonight but he felt some sort of obligation for what happened today."  
  
"I know." Clark sighed. "It's always been the worst part of being his friend, knowing that he never tells me the whole truth, that there are so many things he would prefer to keep buried."  
  
"We aren't going to let him get away with it this time, are we?" I asked. "I mean, we're as much involved now as he is."  
  
My cousin nodded, steering me towards the stairs. "I'll see what more I can find out about Chris tomorrow at school. Maybe I can get him to talk to me. We used to be close."  
  
"Where is his family's farm?"  
  
Clark frowned. "It borders the plant on the east side. Why?"  
  
That made me hesitate. One more reason to think it could be Chris who was behind the attacks. Of course, that didn't explain how he could sneak in and out of places without ever being detected. That answer would have to come at a later date.  
  
"I may have to go out there tomorrow morning and have a look around," I told him.  
  
"Sinjun – " Clark began, his voice holding a note of warning.  
  
"No. I'll be fine. I promise no one will even know I was there." I opened the door to my room and slipped inside. "G'night, Clark."  
  
"Sinjun?"  
  
"Yeah, Clark?"  
  
"Lex'll kill you if he catches you snooping around on his behalf, you know."  
  
I smiled. "I know. Kind of fun living on the wild side, isn't it, Clark?"  
  
Not that I was especially talented in anything like investigation but really, how hard could it be? At least, that was the thought I had the next morning when I borrowed my aunt's car to drive over to the Moore farm. I was smart enough to know not to just drive on up to their house, knock on the door and ask Chris's mother if her son was trying to kill Lex Luthor. Leaving the car parked on the side of the road that ran between the plant and the farm, I tugged my sling off my shoulder, figuring the pain killers would tide me over anyway, and started my way into the thick copse of trees and underbrush that bordered the land. It didn't take long for me to find exactly what I was looking for – the air quickly became thick with the suffocating smell of fertilizer. I pushed my way through the brush until I entered a clearing in the middle of which sat a dank and stinking pond. I tried breathing through my mouth but it only made things worse so I covered my nose and looked around, frowning.  
  
I guess I had expected to see something resembling a marshland, considering how putrid the stench was. Instead, everything around me was green and flourishing, which was some what surprising considering the Winter thaw had only recently ended and Springs renewal had yet to awaken over Kansas. Kneeling down into the greenery around me, I attempted to break off a blade of grass but found I had to fight with it for a bit before the stem finally snapped in two. The stalk was thick around the outside, hollow inside and water seemed to seep out of it when it broke. I rubbed the substance over my fingertips, sniffed it. Just as I expected. Standing, I walked over to the pond, covering my nose as I neared it, then knelt down and reached into my pocket, withdrawing the vial I had brought with me. I scooped a sample of the water into it, capped it, then tucked the vial and blade of grass into my pocket and rose to leave.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
I froze at the voice. Heart thudding, I turned to find a teenage boy watching me from across the clearing. He was dressed in jeans, flannel shirt and jacket and he looked as if he had just been caught in a rainstorm. I tried to keep from frowning or staring openly.  
  
"I'm… " I hesitated, preparing the lie in my head. "I'm Clark Kent's cousin, Sinjun. My car broke down on the road and I was trying to find a nearby house to make a phone call from when – "  
  
"You can't use our phone," he told me angrily.  
  
"Oh." So much for the friendliness of small town folk. "Well, I guess I'd best keep walking then."  
  
"Yeah, I guess."  
  
A shiver ran down my spine. I turned and headed back into the trees in the direction from which I came. I could still feel his eyes on me and picked up my pace, while trying not to look as if I were in a hurry. I only allowed myself to begin to relax when I finally spotted the car up ahead. By that time I did break into a quick jog and hurried for the driver's side, crawling in and closing and locking the door. Taking a deep breath, I started the engine and pulled out, heading for the plant, testing the brakes just once before I decided to reach the posted speed limit.  
  
It was just before seven when I arrived at the plant. Workers wouldn't begin arriving until eight but Lex was already in his office, reading over reports. He looked up when I walked in and frowned. Probably because I was dressed in jeans and flannel, looking for all the world like I belonged down in shipping and not in the main office.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He asked. "I told you to take a few days off."  
  
"There's a lab here, right?" I asked, ignoring him.  
  
He leaned back in his chair. "Yes. Why?"  
  
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the water sample and set it in front of him. "I got that out of the pond on the Moore farm – "  
  
"Sinjun – "  
  
"Lex, don't start." I sighed, not in the mood to argue with him. "I found this, too." I handed him the stem of grass.  
  
His eyebrows raised as he looked it over, then he glanced up at me, waiting for an explanation.  
  
"I think the plant was dumping its waste onto the Moore property," I told him, sitting on the edge of his desk. He watched me do so but said nothing. "The pond was seriously disgusting but the area around it was… well, very overgrown and very green and completely impossible considering the time of year. I thought I was going to have to take a hatchet to that blade of grass."  
  
Lex twirled it between his long fingers, studying it critically. He glanced up at me for a moment then suddenly stood, moving past me toward the door. I guess I was expected to follow because he kind of turned his head at me as he walked through the doorway, but did not bother to break his stride. Slipping off of the desk, I hurried after him, only belatedly realizing he was leading me toward the middle sections of Level Two where R&D was located. The halls were empty of employees still and it was more than a little unsettling following Lex to who-knows-where. He said nothing as he led me through the corridors, finally stopping before a room where he punched in a code and the door swung open. He stood back, allowing me to enter first. A motion sensor triggered the florescent lights above, illuminating the lab that we had just entered.  
  
The room was smaller than I expected. Almost cozy. Was that possible or was I completely losing my mind? Glass cabinets lined the right wall, packed with all sorts of glass and plastic bottles of varying sizes and colors. Oversized refrigerators were scattered about the room, holding God knows what. The bench tops were filled with gizmos and gadgets, some spewing forth whirling noises while their output displays repeatedly blinked numbers in green. There were racks of test tubes, glass flasks and distillation columns, with what looked like marbles inside, attached to tubing or voltage sources, tanks full with churning water. The place seemed alive, swirling with motion. Lex nonchalantly walked past the benches leading me towards a door in the back. I noticed there were several doors along the left wall. One even had a radioactive symbol plastered on the front, warning to keep the door shut at all times. That was just fine with me, not that I could have entered the room without the proper key code. Another seemed to be reserved for animal experimentation. I shivered over that thought, not wanting to know what lay beyond.  
  
Lex stopped and punched in another code, pushing open the door. The room was occupied with microscopes, one even taking up the entire length of a wall. He pulled out the vial and picked up a syringe and glass slide. After placing a drop of the water in the center of the glass, Lex flipped on a microscope, setting the slide on the platform. He adjusted the focus and stepped back, motioning me forward.  
  
"Here, take a look at this."  
  
I couldn't help but notice how at home Lex appeared in our current surroundings, but then again he did major in this stuff in college. Shrugging my shoulders, I peered through the microscope's eyepiece. There were roughly transparent circular blobs moving about, what I could only deduce were cells of some sort. Hey, I wasn't a scientist by any means and had never really paid attention in chemistry or biology classes in high school, which was the last time I had even seen a microscope. They seemed to be dividing or something, their outlines becoming increasingly more irregular.  
  
"So what exactly am I looking at? Are these cells multiplying?"  
  
"No, they're dying."  
  
I blinked. "Come again?"  
  
"These are bacterial cells normally found in water. For one thing, there should be thousands of them instead of just the few you see on that slide. They're undergoing a process called apoptosis, cell death. Something is altering the cell signaling process, producing a response that is varying the cell's homeostasis."  
  
"You want to give that to me in English?" It was weird seeing this side of Lex, the scientist. He seemed comfortable with it. More relaxed and himself than I had ever before seen.  
  
"The cells are being told to shut off, to die," he explained. "Sure, that's a normal process but not at this alarmingly rapid rate. These cells are more or less spilling out their cytoplasm, their insides."  
  
"But I don't understand. If whatever is in this water kills cells so quickly, then why does Chris seem fine? He must have swallowed a ton of that water when he almost drowned. Shouldn't he at least be under the weather or even… dead?"  
  
"I'm not sure yet what effect this water would have on eukaroytic cells… sorry." He grinned sheepishly at my look and continued, "The cells in our bodies. Our cells, compared to those of bacteria, are composed of different lipids, different receptors. It's possible that the water is specific to a certain membrane protein that is not present in a human cell, or is present in smaller amounts. There's an endless number of explanations unfortunately. I wouldn't be surprised if the water somehow produced a synergistic interaction that caused an entirely different form of mutation. And then there's the question as to what type of human cell would it influence… all of them or only specific ones? It's even possible that Chris' cells are breaking down but at a retarded rate. Like I said, the possibilities are endless and I have a lot more investigating to do before I could even begin to understand what's going on."  
  
I moved out of the way so that Lex could take my place at the microscope. He leaned over, examining the slide, while I continued to quietly observe him. His fingers were slim and well-manicured, and they moved delicately over the equipment as if it were the most precious thing in the world. I couldn't help but wonder what those fingers would feel like on my skin, and then I felt myself blushing profusely at the thought and had to turn away and collect my senses.  
  
"There it is again."  
  
I looked over at Lex. "What?"  
  
"The green particles." He moved back from the microscope, indicating me to take his place. I leaned forward, peering into the lens as he asked, "Do you see them? Attached to the cells?"  
  
I finally saw what he was talking about. Miniscule glowing green objects speckled like polka dots over the cells. "That's the meteor dust you were talking about? The same that was in the other samples?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
I stood back up and looked at Lex. "So your father was using some base consisting of Radium, D-Glucose and the meteors that hit town in order to create some sort of super fertilizer? And he had his employees get rid of the waste on the Moore's property." I frowned. "I saw Chris when I went there. He was very… hostile, I guess is the word. And he looked… wet. It was weird."  
  
Lex continued to stare down at the microscope, his brow furrowed in thought.  
  
"Do you really think this is somehow affecting Chris?" I asked. "I mean, that its done something to make him want to kill you?"  
  
He shrugged. "Anything is possible, especially in this town. If these chemicals have somehow bonded with his cellular structure, then he could very possibly have the ability to transform his body into a liquid form. It would explain how he could enter and exit secure buildings easily."  
  
"And, if it is doing something to him, that along with his father's death could make him pretty pissed off at the Luthor family."  
  
Lex nodded.  
  
Suddenly I frowned, listening as strange sounds emanating from beyond the shut door reached my ears. My head snapped up. "Did you hear something?"  
  
Lex listened intently and then pushed me to the side. "What the hell…"  
  
I watched as he sniffed the air and then the acrid odor of smoke reached me as he moved to push the door open. Flames had already consumed the front of the lab, fingers of fire lapping greedily at the walls, everything in its path. I didn't need to be told that we were trapped, for that was the only way out… there were no windows, no other means of escape… nothing.  
  
"Lex… " I started toward him, uncertain of what to say or what would happen.  
  
His hand reached out, holding me back. I watched his face as he looked frantically over the blazing room before us. "If the fire reaches the cabinet containing the flammable chemicals or the hydrogen tanks stacked in the corner, we'll be would be blown to pieces, along with possibly half the plant," he told me quietly.  
  
I laughed nervously. "Always full of good tidings, aren't you, Lex?"  
  
"One of the extinguishers is missing." He glanced over his shoulder, back into the lab we were in, then up at the ceiling. "Why hasn't the sprinkler system gone off?"  
  
Something popped causing me to jump. Glass exploding in the roaring heat. I took as step back as the flames moved closer toward us. Truthfully, I was scared to death of fire. When we had first moved to the suburbs, our neighbor's house had burned down that Christmas in the middle of the night and I could still remember being outside in my father's arms while the structure burned to the ground in a mass of writhing flames. It had been started by the lights on their tree and after that, I would always unplug the Christmas tree my parents put out when they weren't looking.  
  
"There's a path along the back wall to the right," Lex was saying from the doorway, wincing against the heat that was blasting through the door. "Come on. I think we can make it."  
  
I stepped away from his hand, shaking my head.  
  
"Sinjun, we have to get out of here," he told me sternly. "This place could go in any minute. Now take my hand. I promise, I won't let anything happen to you."  
  
I knew he wouldn't. But still, this was fire. I hesitated, then Lex reached out and grabbed me and was pulling me forward, out into the lab where I didn't want to go. He kept us close to the back wall, protecting me with himself which, if I had been able to think about it at the time, seemed completely out of character for the spoilt son of a billionaire. But then that was Lex. I would come to learn that he usually did the least expected things at the least expected times.  
  
Another loud pop. Lex pushed me into the wall, hissed as if in pain.  
  
"Lex?" I asked, terrified.  
  
"It's nothing," he gasped, obviously lying. "Keep going."  
  
He pulled me along again. I didn't think I could handle the heat much longer. I thought my skin would begin to boil at any moment. My hair was plastered to my head, my clothes to my skin. I looked up at Lex, wondering if my face was as flushed as his. It certainly felt like it.  
  
"The extinguisher!"  
  
I followed Lex's gaze to the floor where an extinguisher lay between the counters. He went for it but the moment his hands wrapped around it, he gave a shout, falling back.  
  
"Lex!" I dropped beside him, staring at his reddening hands. "Are you alright?"  
  
He nodded, winced. I looked around for a cloth or something we could grab the extinguisher with but everything above us seemed to be on fire. Then we heard the unmistakable sound of shattering glass toward the front of the lab.  
  
"Sinjun! Lex!" Clark called out.  
  
"We're in here!" I replied, immediately breaking into a fit of coughing.  
  
The sounds of an extinguisher pouring itself into the flames sent a wave of relief through me. Lex helped me to my feet and we kind of leaned on each other as we continued to skirt towards the front of the lab. Clark cleared a path for us, then grabbed us both and hauled us out the door before turning back inside to continue with the fire. Lex pushed me across the hall to lean against the wall while he picked up another extinguisher and joined Clark, calling out that they needed to get the fire contained before it reached the tanks.  
  
I huddled against the wall, allowing my muscles to collapse and I sank to the floor, coughing occasionally at the smoke I had inhaled. Wiping the sweat from my brow, I heard the sound of approaching sirens in the distance and turned my head toward the right to glance down the hallway. I screamed, unable to comprehend the sight before me. Chris was just down the hall, the upper half of his body exactly as I had remembered from meeting him on his family's property. The lower half though… was a puddle of water around him. He was watching me miserably, his expression clearly calling out for help while his eyes remained distrustful and angry. I barely noticed as Lex and Clark emerged from the lab to stand beside me, their gazes following mine.  
  
While Clark slowly moved down the hall, speaking to Chris in a calm, soothing voice, Lex slid down to the floor beside me and gathered me into his arms. I hadn't realized until he held me how badly I was shaking. Moments later, the police and the fire department arrived and while Clark and Lex answered what questions they could, the paramedics led me back to the main offices.  
  
I'd been sitting in Lex's office for over an hour before Lex and Clark returned to join me. Lex's hands were bandaged and a piece of glass had caught him in the back of the neck which was also covered in gauze. I found myself immediately getting up and hurrying over to him, unable to hide my concern.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked.  
  
Lex didn't pull away when I touched his arm. That was a good sign. He looked down at me and nodded. "Minor blisters, a little cut, nothing to worry about. What about you?"  
  
I forced a smile. "I'm fine." I looked at Clark. "How did you know to come looking for us?"  
  
"I noticed Chris wasn't at school today and I remembered that you were going to the farm so I hurried over there. I saw him leave and followed. Unfortunately, he was able to get in here much easier than I was -- I saw him enter through one of the outside drains."  
  
"Apparently he came into the lab just behind us," Lex explained. "He found a bottle of acetone, soaked a rag with it, shoved it in the bottle and set it on fire. He must have tried to hide the extinguisher in the back then realized he didn't have time which is why he left it where he did and hurried to get out of the lab. It must have all been too much for him which is why we found him like he was."  
  
I shuddered involuntarily at the thought and the remembered image of Chris in half liquid form outside the lab. "What happens now?"  
  
"They're taking Chris to a special care facility," Lex told us. "They'll look into his condition and see what they can do for him."  
  
I made a face. "I still can't believe any of this is real."  
  
Lex and Clark looked at one another with amused expressions. Clark turned back to me. "You live here long enough and you'll get used to it."  
  
"I hate to do this," Lex started, looking down at me. "Especially after everything that has happened but the press – "  
  
I backed over to the desk and grabbed the paper I had just printed off. Looking back at Lex with a slight grin, I handed the press release to him. At his expression of amusement, I shrugged. "I really didn't have anything else to do."  
  
Clark sighed. "Well, Sinj, ready to get back to the farm and explain everything to my parents?"  
  
My eyes widened at that. "Not really. But I guess they've probably heard by now or will soon."  
  
Beside me, Lex flinched. "If you can, try not to mention my name, huh? I think almost getting you two killed once in a week is enough."  
  
Clark and I looked at each other and both laughed, albeit a little shakily.  
  
  
  
****  
  
Two weeks had passed since the fire in the lab and things in Smallville finally seemed to slowly progress towards normal. Well, at least normal for Smallville. Chloe laughed at me when I mentioned it at the Talon one evening and said that soon I would realize that normal in Smallville meant something was obviously wrong. At least uncle Jonathon had calmed down a bit from his rage over what he considered to be yet another attempt on Lex's part to get me and Clark killed. We tried to convince him that it wasn't Lex's fault but my uncle only went on to point out that LuthorCorp was responsible for what happened to Chris and his father in the first place. There was unfortunately no way that we could argue with that, even though it still angered me that anyone would hold Lex responsible for his father's wrongdoings.  
  
I was sitting on the fence, watching the herd when Lex's Ferrari came roaring up the drive. I turned to watch it, noticing Clark and uncle Jonathon pause in their work by the barn to look up as well. My uncle said something to Clark and then disappeared inside. Sighing, I turned my attention back to the car which stopped near me. The door opened and Lex stepped out, dressed coolly in black and lavender. Only Lex could pull off wearing a lavender shirt. He cast a wave to Clark before turning and walking over to me. I smiled as he approached.  
  
"Thought you were in Metropolis."  
  
Lex leaned against the fence, his gaze sweeping over the herd before he glanced up at me. "I was. Cut it short though, telling my father I couldn't stay away from the plant for long with everything that has happened."  
  
"How very responsible of you," I teased.  
  
Lex smiled. "He knew I was using it as an excuse to deny myself of his pleasant company." He turned, leaning his back against the rails. "So, anything exciting happen in my absence?"  
  
"Two calves were born the other day. And aunt Martha's tulips are budding."  
  
Laughter. It made me smile. Shaking his head in amusement, Lex turned his blue-eyed gaze to me. "I knew I was missing something."  
  
I furrowed my brow. "Calves and tulips?"  
  
"No." Lex turned thoughtful for a moment, glancing at the farmhouse before returning his attention to me. "The bright wit of a certain PR Director I know."  
  
I gave a half-smile, looked away.  
  
Lex sighed. Funny how he had already learned to read me so well. "Sinjun, I didn't… I meant… friend. The bright wit of a certain friend."  
  
I gripped the rails with my fingers until my knuckles turned white and bit my lip to keep the tears away. Yes, I was a complete and total sap for such declarations. Finally, when I felt quite in control of my emotions, I turned back to face him and smiled. "Thanks, Lex."  
  
He shrugged, kicked at the ground with his expensive shoes. Lex was adorable when he became uncertain of himself.  
  
"Did you hear that Mrs. Moore is moving to Iowa to stay with family?" I asked, changing the subject for Lex's sake.  
  
"Really?" He didn't look up.  
  
My suspicions were confirmed. "Yep. Heard she sold the farm, too. Right now its all hush-hush as to who bought it though."  
  
Still, he didn't meet my gaze. Very well. I would ask out right.  
  
"You bought it, didn't you?"  
  
Finally, Lex looked up at me, his expression masked. "What would I do with a farm, Sinjun?"  
  
"You mean what would you do with land that your father had contaminated with severely dangerous chemical waste?"  
  
Lex frowned for a moment, his gaze moving back to the barn. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stood there silently for a long while as I continued to watch him. When he spoke, his tone was quiet, reflective. "I guess if I were to purchase that kind of land, I would try to clean it up."  
  
I smiled. "It wouldn't hurt to perform a few experiments on that land either – I mean, if you were to own such a thing."  
  
A shrug. "Maybe."  
  
Well that was as far as that was going to go. Lex trusted me to a point; I knew he did. We had been through too much together in the past month for him not to. But he still wasn't ready to give over to me completely and that was all right. I could wait. My attention was drawn toward the farmhouse when I heard aunt Martha calling us in for supper. Swinging my legs over to the outside of the fence, I jumped down from the rail and turned to Lex.  
  
"Wanna join us? I'm sure aunt Martha has made enough," I offered.  
  
"No." I could see in his eyes that he wanted to say yes. "I've got some work that needs to be done."  
  
"All work and no play makes Lex a boring man," I told him.  
  
He just smiled, gave a little shake of his head.  
  
"Well, guess I'll see you at the plant." I turned and started toward the house then, remembering something, I turned back. "Hey, what happened to Chris?"  
  
Lex pursed his lips for a moment then replied, "I have him under the best care we can offer. Unfortunately, the cellular structure in his body is continuing to break down from the chemicals. The doctors are working around the clock to find a cure."  
  
"What will happen to him if they don't?"  
  
Lex frowned. "He'll end up becoming a liquid form permanently."  
  
I swallowed at that. "But how can… I mean… he can't live like that, can he?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"Oh."  
  
I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly cold. What a horrible way to die. And so young. Lex moved over to me and put his hands on my shoulders, as if offering me some sort of support. I really wanted him to hold me like he had in the hospital but I wasn't going to overstep my bounds.  
  
"I promise I will get my scientists to do everything they can to make certain that doesn't happen."  
  
I looked up at him. "I know you will, Lex."  
  
Lex seemed to relax at that, as if he had been tense, waiting for some sort of rejection or rebuttal. He smiled at me and then I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me and we were hugging each other, just clinging to one another, offering silent support. Lex was always very warm and again smelled positively wonderful and I thought it was such a shame that he rarely allowed people to get close to him. I knew he didn't liked to be touched, so the fact that three times now he had pulled me to him left me slightly in awe.  
  
"Thank you," he whispered against my hair.  
  
I tried and failed to suppress the pleasant tremor that ran through my body at his words. I didn't bother to ask him what he was thanking me for. It could have been because I had just given him my trust. Or that we were friends. Or because of everything we had been through in the past few weeks. I didn't know and I didn't care. All that mattered was that he was here and we were holding each other and there was something between us that I couldn't explain at the moment. Maybe I was little too scared to explore it just yet. As much as I knew I was falling hard for Lex Luthor, I still realized he was out of my league. I didn't want to get hurt, but I doubted that I could escape it for much longer.  
  
I stepped back, not wishing to take advantage of what he was offering me. "Sure you don't want to join us for supper?"  
  
Lex shook his head. "Maybe I'll take a rain check."  
  
Well, that was something. "Will you be at the plant at all next week?"  
  
He smiled. "Seems like every time I go there lately, something bad happens."  
  
I laughed. "Good excuse not to come in to work, eh?"  
  
"Maybe I'll stop by and take you to lunch."  
  
"Or I could take you to lunch," I offered. "Seems my boss gave me a fairly spiffy raise recently."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
I nodded, smiling.  
  
"I just might let you do that," he teased. I knew he wouldn't really let me get away with doing such a thing. After all, who was the billionaire here?  
  
"Well then, goodnight, Lex. And thanks for stopping by."  
  
"Goodnight, Sinj."  
  
I walked back toward the farmhouse, a smile touching my lips as I heard the Ferrari roar away down the drive. I realized that Lex had called me by nickname for the first time since we had met. 


	5. Part Two -Apathy Chapter One

SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
1.1 PART TWO –  
  
1.2 CHAPTER ONE  
  
1.2.1 I've got to hand it to you now  
  
You're a hard one to please  
  
When it looks as though, you've got all you need  
  
All the many times I've dreamed  
  
I could walk in your shoes  
  
What a nightmare it must be  
  
Just being you..  
  
1.2.2  
  
1.2.3 Just That Good – The Calling  
  
  
  
  
  
Sinjun St. Claire is the type of person who could easily fade into the background and never be noticed. I actually think she prefers it that way and I have yet to understand what reasons she could have for it. Maybe some people just don't crave the attention. Clark's like that. He's the hero of Smallville, but no one really knows it because he never makes mention of it, never wants others to make mention of it. I, on the other hand, was raised in the spotlight, even when I didn't want to be. "You're a Luthor" my father would say, "People want to see you, and they don't care about your delicate sensibilities." Delicate sensibilities. I was nine fucking years old and bald. Delicate sensibilities my ass.  
  
I gripped the steering wheel, forcing myself to calm down, and back off the gas pedal which I currently had floored. Though any of the Kansas State Troopers would know better than to pull me over, I still knew 140 mph was a little over the top for I-70. Besides, if I allowed anything to happen to the Aston Martin, Sinjun would most likely have me crucified. Of all my cars, she loved this one the best. The first time I had pulled up to the farm in it, she had squealed. Actually squealed. I didn't know anyone really did that. She had begged me to let her drive it, which of course I had said yes, and we had peeled down the driveway with her at the wheel, her uncle watching disapprovingly from the farmhouse. That was when I had discovered Sinjun was a Bond freak. She knew all of the movies by heart, could name each and every villain, gadget and Bond girl ever. I told her she really needed a new hobby. She had replied as to if the car came equipped with an ejection seat. I knew better than to try to one-up Sinjun's banter.  
  
It would have been easy to have never really noticed her. Sinjun is a self- described wallflower and had the accident with the forklift at the plant never happened, she probably would have remained as such to me. She would have been little more than the administrative assistant in the front office, who I never would have taken a second glance at, no matter how many phone calls she transferred. But Fate, it seemed, had worked to push her into my line of sight. I had yet to decide if it were a good thing or not. And I'm fairly certain she felt the same.  
  
The manner with which she had quickly taken control of the situation had impressed me. Her loyalty to the plant had impressed me even more. She hadn't seemed afraid of me, nor intimidated by who I was. And yet, she was still very much like her cousin -- a little naïve, somewhat innocent, open and trusting. Somewhere along the way, I realized I had become fascinated with studying her. Sinjun seemed to know it, too, for it always made her fidget more around me. She was like an open book, her eyes constantly revealing everything she was thinking and feeling. She'd be horrible at poker. It was the main reason I normally let her write press releases and speeches but rarely let her give them. In most situations, the press would eat her alive. She was a terrible liar, which is why I think she preferred not to do so.  
  
Having been away from Smallville for almost a month, I found myself smiling as I drove past the city limits signage. A year ago I never would have believed I would actually be happy to return to such a … quaint little town. But then, a lot had changed since my "banishment" to Smallville by my father. I had friends now, close friends. And I actually felt as if I belonged. It wasn't something I was used to and I had issues with not fighting against it. Not everything was perfect in my new home, not everyone had accepted me the way Clark and Sinjun did. But it was some sort of strange new beginning that I doubt my father had in mind for me when he sent me out to take over Plant Number Three. If he had, I really don't think I'd be here.  
  
I made the decision quite quickly not to go straight home, and taking the next left, I turned onto the road that led to the Kent farm. I knew that Sinjun was in the middle of a two week vacation I had granted her to help out with the planting of the corn and I was curious to see how she was faring. And truthfully, though I would never admit it, I had missed her. Hell, after almost a month in my father's company, I found I missed just about everyone, including Jonathon Kent. His obvious dislike for me was preferable to whatever it was I received from dear old dad. Pulling onto the dirt road that led to their farm, I slowed to what for me was a crawl, then glanced to the passenger seat to make certain the files I needed were still beside me. Parking the car, I opened the door only to immediately feel the oppressive Kansas heat that drew past me as it reached in to suck out the cooler conditioned air. It was promising to be a hot summer. Only the beginning of June and already in the nineties.  
  
Grabbing the files into my hand, I stepped out, looking over at Martha who was working on the flowers near the front of the house. She was watching me, smiling. She rose as I approached and walked over to meet me.  
  
"Lex, when did you get back in town?" She asked, shielding her eyes from the sun with her glove-covered hand.  
  
"A few minutes ago," I smiled. "Is Clark around?"  
  
"He's in the fields with his father. Sinjun's in the barn."  
  
I raised an eyebrow at that. Maybe Martha could read me a little more easily than I really wanted. "I wouldn't want to bother her," I began.  
  
But Martha rolled her eyes. "Lex, don't be silly. She's been wondering when you'd be back."  
  
I smiled. For some reason this woman always made me feel like a misbehaved little boy. And there were times that she looked at me with such… parental concern, I guess, that it made me more than slightly uncomfortable. I wasn't used to it. Though I sometimes found myself envying the relationship Clark had with his parents, I still didn't think I could deal with the constant awareness of what I did with my life. I turned and headed toward the barn, glancing once toward the fields to see Clark and his father with the tractor far in the distance. I didn't see how they could work all day in this heat and dirt. No wonder Clark was the size he was at his age.  
  
The barn was no cooler when I entered, the shade offering no resistance to the humidity. I stopped just inside the door, unable to contain the smile at the sight before me. Sinjun was kneeling on the ground, a screw driver in hand, staring at piece of farm equipment in front of her. She was dressed in faded jeans and one of Clark's old flannels – I could tell by how large it was on her – with the sleeves cut off. Her dark hair was in two braided pigtails that fell over her shoulders. I wondered what my father would think if he saw my PR Director now.  
  
"Well, if it isn't Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm," I called out.  
  
Sinjun turned to look at me and an incredibly bright smile lit up her face. Amazing. It was something someone could get used to. I was no fool. Like I said, Sinjun was an open book and I could read her better than she probably could herself. I knew she was interested in me. I knew she fought against those feelings as well. I'm glad she did. I didn't want to be the one to have to tell her no. I think she was smart enough to realize we came from two different worlds and she would never be comfortable in mine.  
  
"Lex!" She climbed to her feet as I walked over to her. Placing her hands on her hips, she shook her head in exasperation. "How do you do it? Summer in Kansas and still you wear dark colors and long sleeves and don't break a sweat."  
  
I smiled. "Luthors don't sweat."  
  
Sinjun rolled her eyes heavenward. "Of course not. You defy the laws of nature as well."  
  
I laughed. She always did that to me. "How are you, Sinjun?"  
  
"How do I look?" She asked, tossing the screw driver to the floor. "I'm exhausted. I thought I missed living on a farm. Then I realized that was only because I had been on one as a child with fewer responsibilities and more time to play." Shaking her head, she smiled up at me again. "How was Japan?"  
  
"Both beautiful and boring," I replied blandly. "A great place to visit but not when your main company is my father."  
  
Sinjun made a face at that. Her initial meeting with my father had not gone well and her opinion of him was probably lower than that of her uncles. Not that I minded. Unfortunately, his opinion of her hadn't changed either. He was still on me to hire what he referred to as a "professional". The more he bothered me about it, the more determined I was to keep Sinjun around. Maybe it was unfair of me to her to place her in the middle like that but whatever worked against my father was okay by me.  
  
"What're those?" Sinjun asked, pointing to the files I was holding. "Don't tell me you stopped by on your first day back just to give me more work."  
  
"As much of a slave driver as you seem to think I am, Sinjun, I am not that cruel." I held them out to her, quieting my tone as I told her, "They're your father's files. Going back to when he first began working for the company. You were right in your assumption that he worked on Level Three. Apparently, he was one of my father's top biochemical engineer's. He made some discovery during his work on Level Three – which unfortunately is not documented and will take more time to learn – which is why my father had him transferred to Plant Number One to take over operations there."  
  
Sinjun took the folders from me without replying, wandering over to a hay bale where she sat down and began flipping through the papers. I followed, hovering above her, watching quietly. Finally she looked up at me and gave me a half-smile. "Thank you, Lex. I really… well, thank you."  
  
I shrugged. I actually still had people looking into her father for me. There were certain loose ends, questions that I had regarding the work he was doing for my father before his death. Something wasn't quite right but I wasn't about to tell Sinjun anything until I knew for certain what I was looking for.  
  
"Oh!" Sinjun glanced up at me sheepishly for a moment and a slight flush filled her cheeks. "I forgot to mention – I planned a little party while you were away."  
  
Like I said, her eyes gave her away. Currently there was some mischief sparkling in their green depths and I knew instantly that when she said "party", she didn't mean a small gathering of friends here at the farm. I raised an eyebrow at her, flashing my most haughty and intimidating expression. "And just what is this little party you forgot to mention?"  
  
She faltered a bit at that and I immediately felt a pang of guilt. But then she cocked her head to the side and watched me for a moment and it must have occurred to her that I wasn't really as scary as she believed. Sinjun smiled. "Nothing really, Lex. Just a little get-together for your employees."  
  
"My – " I stopped myself, shook my head. "I don't want to hear this, do I?"  
  
Laughter. She jumped to her feet and started toward the door, glancing back to make certain I was following. I moved ahead to hold it open for her and she whispered a quiet "thank you" before stepping out into the sunshine. There was a stick of hay lodged in one of her braids that I reached out and grabbed, tossing to the ground. If Sinjun noticed, she didn't make mention of it.  
  
"Part of PR, Lex, is good relations with your own employees," she explained as if I didn't already know that. I just continued to watch her with an expression of interest. "And you want to be able to secure the best possible attitudes among your employees before those government inspectors come out, so… "  
  
I waited for a moment for her to continue. When she didn't, I looked over to see another guilty flush staining her cheeks. "What have you done, Sinj?"  
  
She grinned at me. "I sent out an invitation to all of the employees and their families for the First Annual LuthorCorp 4th of July Spectacular!"  
  
"The employees and their families?"  
  
Sinjun thought that over for a moment then admitted, "Actually, all of Smallville."  
  
I think she must have seen me pale.  
  
"Well, I mean, much of Smallville is helping in putting it together. The local farmers are providing the food, Fordman's and Riley Lumber are helping with supplies and the tents and all, Libertyville's Party Carnival is supplying games and rides and such – "  
  
"My father isn't going to like this, you know," I commented blandly.  
  
"Well, that's okay. Because he isn't invited."  
  
I laughed at that. She obviously didn't realize that once he heard of her little shindig, he would invited himself. Just to be there. Just to make me miserable. But I didn't say anything to her, not wishing to ruin the enjoyment she was obviously having.  
  
"So is there anything else I should know about this party of ours?" I asked.  
  
Sinjun thought about it and then shook her head. "Not really. Unless I can convince you to volunteer for the kissing booth."  
  
I rolled my eyes at that and started back to the car.  
  
"How about the dunk tank then?" She asked, following behind. "I'll bet I could have them lining up for that one!"  
  
Stopping, I turned to her and frowned. "Sinjun St. Claire, are you suggesting that there would be a bigger line to drown me than there would be to kiss me?"  
  
She unsuccessfully attempted to muffle her laughter. "I didn't suggest anything, Lex. I'm flat out saying – "  
  
I placed my hand over her mouth, not wishing to hear yet another statement against my character. She watched me with obvious amusement in her eyes. "No one should take such delight in belittling their boss, Sinj," I warned her.  
  
Sinjun's eyebrows raised at that and she replied, "Mmmmuufffttt ooooo ccccfffttt nnnmmmvvvvbbberrrrr –"  
  
I took my hand away from her mouth.  
  
"Be belittled, Lex," she finished with a laugh.  
  
I shook my head. "I don't even want to know what you said."  
  
Turning, I moved up to the car, casting a wave back to Martha before opening the door. Sinjun was eyeing the car appreciatively as I climbed in. She walked over to stand by the door.  
  
"Come by my place tomorrow and we'll discuss these plans of yours," I told her, starting the engine.  
  
"You're not mad at me, are you, Lex?" She asked.  
  
There was the slightest hint of vulnerability and innocence in her voice and gaze. It only served to remind me how much alike she and Clark were. "No, Sinj. I could never be mad at you."  
  
I drove home with the memory of her beaming smile to keep me company.  
  
Brandon greeted me at the door of the castle when I arrived. He wrinkled his nose distastefully as I walked past.  
  
"You smell like a barn," he commented, taking my coat. "I trust the rest of your luggage does not smell the same."  
  
And I thought I was pompous. Brandon regularly puts me to shame in that regard. I've always wanted to ask him if he went to a special pomposity school before my father hired him. "I stopped by the Kent farm on the way into town."  
  
"Ah. Miss St. Claire. Intriguing young woman."  
  
I raised an eyebrow at that. "What makes you think I stopped by to see her?"  
  
Brandon shrugged his narrow shoulders, moving down the hall to hang my coat in the closet. I followed, working my way towards the study.  
  
"And what's that comment supposed to mean, anyway?" I asked as I entered my favorite room, glancing at the pool table like an old familiar friend. "Intriguing young woman," I mimicked in his nasal tone.  
  
He stood in the doorway, hands clasped in front of him, appearing for all the world as if he were looking down his nose at me. At me! "Miss St. Claire stopped by here a little over a week ago to drop off some reports from the plant. She seemed… impressed with your library. Even played a game of pool while we talked."  
  
"You let her play pool?"  
  
"I do not believe she asked my permission, sir."  
  
I grinned at that. "She probably batted her eyelashes and you became a puddle of goo."  
  
Brandon flashed me an expression that clearly told me exactly how unlikely that event was. I dropped down into the chair at my desk, glancing over the stacks of messages and the folders of reports. I would have to remind my father that leaving the country for a month at a time wasn't very good for business, no matter if there were companies to take over or not.  
  
"Shall I have Cook prepare your dinner this evening?" Brandon asked, poised to depart at any moment. I always wondered where he went and what he did with his spare time. This was, after all, a fairly large place that one could become lost in.  
  
I shook my head. "No. Nothing tonight."  
  
"Very good, sir." Brandon inclined his head and quickly disappeared, leaving me to my work.  
  
I spent the evening going over the reports that Sinjun had brought over from Gabe as well as the media clippings she had saved from the past month's Ledger. The image of the Plant seemed to be improving, at least in the media's eyes, and I made a mental note to point that out to my father, along with Gee, dad, maybe my choice of PR Director wasn't so bad after all. I knew he would still disagree though. After all, it had been my choice, not his.  
  
It must have been sometime after one in the morning when I dozed off in my chair. It was a habit. Sometimes the master bedroom was too big and empty to tempt me into retiring to it, so I would stay up working until I fell asleep at my desk, catch a couple of hours sleep and then get up. I rarely needed much rest anyway.  
  
The dream began in the house in Metropolis I grew up in. I was wandering down the hallway, toward my mother's sitting room, when I heard her whisper my name. Speeding up, I hurried to the room, entering only to find my father with his hands wrapped around her slender and pale neck. She was looking at me, such love in her eyes, such pleading, begging me to help her. I ran to her, knocking my father out of the way, pushing him to the floor. I turned to my mother and there were tears in her eyes.  
  
"Alexander," she whispered. Her hand reached out, she cupped my cheek. I felt all the warmth and love she harbored for me. "What happened to you, my sweet Alexander?"  
  
I shook my head. "Nothing, mom. I'm the same."  
  
"You loved me once."  
  
"I still love you, mom. I will always love you," I told her, crying. "I'll always love you."  
  
"No. You're like him now. You don't know how to love."  
  
"That's not true!" I shouted, grabbing her by the arms, shaking her. "I can love! I do love!"  
  
"You destroy. You corrupt. You ensnare. But never love."  
  
"Stop saying that!" I raged, shaking her harder. "I am not him! I am not him!"  
  
My hands crept to her throat. I began choking the life out of her, all the while insisting I wasn't like my father. That I could love. I was crying, shouting, my hands constricting around the throat clasped between them.  
  
"Lex."  
  
I stopped. It was no longer my mother that I held in a death grip but Sinjun. She looked at me, pleading, begging, all the while loving as I killed her, my hands unable to let go, no matter how much I cried and told her over and over again that I could love. That I wasn't like him. Not him.  
  
"Lex," she whispered with her last dying breath. "How could you do this to us?"  
  
I started awake, my heart thudding painfully in my chest, the last vestiges of the nightmare clinging to my mind. I pushed myself out of my chair, over to the bar where I poured a double shot of scotch, swallowing it down. I ran a shaky hand over my head. I was sweating. Luthor's never sweat. I heard Sinjun's mocking laughter in my mind.  
  
I knew I wouldn't sleep the rest of the night and went back to work.  
  
****  
  
It was about noon the next day as I was staring at an email from Dr. Hamilton regarding the latest setback in the experiments he was conducting when I heard Sinjun's voice call out:  
  
"Busy?"  
  
I looked up to see her peaking around the corner of the doorway, as if it would be easier for her to make a quick getaway as long as she didn't bring her whole body forward. I stood, waving her in.  
  
"Not too busy that I can't put it on hold for a bit," I told her, walking around the desk. "Up for a game of pool?"  
  
Sinjun grinned at that. She had replaced her pigtails with one high ponytail that swung back and forth as she walked. "I take it Brandon told you about that, hmmm?"  
  
"First name basis with the staff. Impressive," I intoned.  
  
She rolled her eyes at me. "So you wanted to talk about the party."  
  
"Straight to business." I smirked. "I thought all work and no play – "  
  
"Make Lex a boring man," she interrupted. "Yes. I know. But I can't stay long. I have a date."  
  
My eyebrow twitched. Literally twitched. I don't know why. I reached up and rubbed it for a moment, then glanced over at Sinjun who was already making her way over to the pool table and racking up the balls. Following her, I asked, "A local farmer boy?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"How quaint." I don't know why I was letting the sarcasm issue forth but she just kind of looked up at me when I said it then returned to what she was doing. I continued to watch quietly as she leaned forward with the cue stick and then crack! the balls split apart, three of which instantly disappeared through the holes. I frowned. "You aren't trying to hustle me, are you, Sinj?"  
  
"Lex, I don't even have anything worthy of hustling you with." She walked around the table, leaned forward again, positioning the stick. She was wearing form-hugging boot-cut jeans (I never even knew there was such a thing before moving to Smallville!) and a small t-shirt, that when she moved, showed glimpses of her midriff.  
  
I returned my attention to the table, tapping the end of my cue stick against the floor as I leaned on it. "What about the party? I win, you cancel it. You win, I pay for whatever you want to have at it."  
  
Her green eyes glanced up at me, wider than usual. "Those are fairly high stakes, Lex," she commented softly.  
  
I shrugged. "I've played for more."  
  
She grinned. "I'll bet you have. But I haven't."  
  
"Afraid to lose?" I taunted. I watched her eyes. For once, I couldn't read anything there and wondered if she was beginning to take my advice.  
  
Sinjun just smiled. "You're on… Lex." Then I saw it as her eyes flickered back to the table. Just a glimpse. An assuredness of victory. I'd already made the bet and couldn't back down now. But her poker face still needed work.  
  
She cleared the table. Twice. I glared. A ringer. I should have known.  
  
"You hustled me," I commented, dropping into the chair behind my desk after an hour of being fairly humiliated.  
  
Shrugging, Sinjun sat across from me. "I told you I didn't date much during those two years in college. I hung out at the Student Center and played pool every night."  
  
I wondered how many others she had suckered in with her innocent expressions in those two years. She went on to talk about her ideas for the 4th of July party and I listened. It was beginning to sound like an enormous carnival that LuthorCorp was paying for. I didn't mind but I knew my father would. Sinjun had a point – it would be great for both employee moral and relations with the town. She was planning a barbeque cook off and bake sale and rides and games and music and, of course, fireworks that evening at ten o'clock. She said that she had snared both Clark and her aunt into volunteering for the kissing booth but her uncle was still holding out. I grinned, asked her if she planned on volunteering to which she replied only if she absolutely had to. She brought up the dunk tank again, to which I shook my head emphatically.  
  
"I'm not saying no to be difficult, Sinjun. I'm doing it for you."  
  
Sinjun raised an eyebrow at that. "Oh? And how is that?"  
  
I leaned forward on the desk and met her gaze. "If your uncle had the chance to humiliate me in front of the town again and again at a dollar a ball, that farm of his would be even more in hock than it is now."  
  
Sinjun laughed. "Okay. You have a point." She reached down into her purse and pulled out a small notebook. Scribbling something into it, she looked back up at me. "Think we could get your father in there? I bet if I sent out fliers around the world, I could raise enough money to buy LuthorCorp outright."  
  
I just shook my head, not even dignifying that comment with a reply. My phone rang. Glancing down at the caller ID, I noticed it was my father. Sighing, I flipped it open, commenting to Sinjun as I did so, "Speak of the devil."  
  
Her eyebrows shot up beyond her bangs. "Want me to leave?"  
  
I shook my head that it was unnecessary. "What'd I do now, dad?" I asked.  
  
"Lex, who says you have to do something wrong for me to call you?"  
  
"You do."  
  
Civil laughter. The kind that says yes you are right but I don't need to admit it for you to know it. "Actually I have a little business deal that I am working on that I need you to finish for me."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
I was barely paying attention. Sinjun had gotten up from her seat, in the manner of a child raised by polite parents who would instruct their child never to listen to another person's conversation. She strolled away from the desk toward the little staircase that led to the balcony where the books were stored. My father was droning on about some original artwork by Da Vinci that he was getting a steal on in exchange for the pieces of Elizabethan jewelry that were in our collection. I made a face at that. Those pieces had belonged to my mother, passed on from her family. They might mean nothing to him, but they sure as hell did to me. Not that he cared. He needed more artwork for his office.  
  
"The deal has already been set, Lex. I just need you to go and make the exchange."  
  
"Why can't they come to your office?" I glanced up at the balustrade as I heard Sinjun exclaim happily in delight over something.  
  
"Who is that?"  
  
"No one," I replied.  
  
Currently Sinjun had a stack of half a dozen books cradled in her arms. What did she think this was? A library? She reached for another then promptly dropped all of them to the floor. She turned a mortified gaze to me, whispered that she was sorry, then dropped to her knees and gathered them into her arms once more. I quietly reminded myself not to let her handle any of the Waterford crystal.  
  
"Are you listening to me, Lex?"  
  
"Yeah. You still haven't answered me, though."  
  
A pause. "It's my first time dealing with these people. They aren't too certain of LuthorCorp yet so they would prefer to make this deal on their terms."  
  
I frowned. No doubt that made the artwork stolen. Sometimes my father did really stupid things all for the sake of pride. Wayne Enterprises probably recently purchased a few Van Gogh's or something and now my father wanted to out do them.  
  
"They will be contacting you when they are ready to make the exchange."  
  
"Sure. Whatever." My eyes drifted up again, watching curiously as Sinjun sat on the floor, crossed-legged, the books set before her, leafing through each one.  
  
"Lex, don't screw this up. This should be relatively easy."  
  
"Gee, thanks, dad. Your faith in me is astounding." I hung up the phone, tossing it back to the desk.  
  
"That was a short call," Sinjun commented from above me.  
  
I looked up, walking over to stand beneath the diminutive balcony. "Really? I thought it lasted forever."  
  
Sinjun peered down at me between the rails. "Have you two always been like this?"  
  
I frowned at the question, not certain how comfortable I was talking about my personal life with her just yet. Considering the question, I walked over to the bar and poured myself a scotch. I heard Sinjun coming down the steps, the low heels of her boots clicking against the wood. I didn't turn around, listening carefully as she stopped a few feet behind me.  
  
"Sorry if I asked something I shouldn't," she apologized. "I'm just… curious, I guess. I mean, my parents and I were always close and Clark and his… well, you see how wonderful my aunt and uncle are with him."  
  
I swallowed the scotch back. She didn't need to remind me of the relationship shared by Clark and his parents. She didn't need to remind me that the one I had with my father was on the borderline between barely acceptable and outright hostility. I know Sinjun only meant the best by asking. Most likely she wanted to tell me things weren't that bad or something like that but at the moment I wasn't in the mood to deal with her sympathy or pity or whatever it was she was offering.  
  
"Don't you have a date to go on?" I snapped. I hadn't meant to do that but it happened and I didn't take it back.  
  
A long pause. I didn't turn around.  
  
"Yes. I do actually. I guess… I'll see you at work Monday. Talk to you later, Lex."  
  
I waited until I heard the front door close before I turned around. I had another scotch, tried not to think of my penchant for treating those who actually seemed to give a damn about me like crap. Maybe that was why I always ended up as I was now, alone with a drink in my hand. I feared letting anyone in, pushed them away instead and then wondered why I had no friends. Maybe I really would turn out to be my father someday. Bitter, alone and mean as hell. But rich. At least I had that going for me, I thought as I sat down on the leather couch and leaned my head back, closing my eyes.  
  
I thought, Mom, I don't think I'm turning out to be the man you wanted me to be. I'm sorry.  
  
****  
  
Later that evening I grew restless in the house and drove into town to see if anything interesting was happening at the Talon. Granted, this was Smallville and very rarely did anything equal to those happenings in Metropolis occur, but one never knew when some mutant kid would show up and wreak havoc on the populace. Not that I was looking for anything like that. Usually when something like that did occur, I was stuck on the receiving end. I preferred not to get knocked around anymore.  
  
Entering the coffee house, I waited a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dimness of the interior before stepping forward and almost running into Lana. She looked up at me, as if surprised to see me there.  
  
"Lex." She blinked. "I didn't know you were back in town."  
  
"Keep looking at me like that, Lana, and I will begin to wonder if you haven't been embezzling money while I was away."  
  
Lana didn't say anything to that. Just kind of looked at me as if she couldn't decide if I was teasing or serious. I guess I had just become too used to Sinjun, who I knew would have probably replied with something like What makes you so certain I haven't been? Or something equally sarcastic.  
  
Moving past that, I glanced around. "Business seems to be doing well."  
  
"Oh we've been really busy!" Lana replied enthusiastically. "Aunt Nell has already booked two bands to play in the next few weeks."  
  
"Great." I could only imagine what a band from a barn in Smallville sounded like. To my credit, I did attempt to sound interested. "Anything happen that I should know about while I was gone?"  
  
Lana shook her head. "Nothing Aunt Nell couldn't handle." She peered over my shoulder at the door. "Oh! There's Whitney. I've gotta go. Bye, Lex. And welcome back."  
  
I watched as she scurried past me to meet her boyfriend at the door and they disappeared into the night. Walking over to the bar I ordered a cappuccino, my gaze scanning the room as I waited. I noticed Clark sitting in a darkened corner by himself and when my order came up I grabbed the cup and moved over to him. He didn't seem to notice my approach, his head turned to look over his shoulder, his gaze intent on something.  
  
"Hey Clark."  
  
He kind of started then turned to look at me with a quick smile. "Oh, hey Lex. What're you doing here?"  
  
I shrugged as I sat in the seat across from him. "Restless, I guess. Wanted to see what was happening in town." I raised my eyebrows as Clark turned to look over his shoulder once more. "The question is, what are you doing?"  
  
He looked back at me, flashing a sheepish expression. "A favor for my dad, actually. You can't say anything or she'll kill me!"  
  
I took a sip of the cappuccino, still watching Clark as if he'd lost his mind. "Who? What are you talking about?"  
  
The teenager sighed. "Sinjun has a date tonight with Billy Preston. My dad doesn't like him or trust him. Said he's a date rape waiting to happen. So he sent me out to – "  
  
"Spy on them?" I interrupted, finding that for once me and Jonathon Kent agreed on something. "You mean there is someone else in town your father dislikes other than me?"  
  
"Yeah." Clark grinned. "The way he talked, I almost think he would prefer it if Sinjun were going out with you, actually." At that we both kind of rolled our eyes, like the chances of such a thing to happen were a million to one. Clark glanced over his shoulder again. "They're over there, in the back. While Lana was here I could at least convince Sinj that I was here to visit but now… I no longer have an excuse. Besides, I get the feeling she already knows."  
  
"How does it appear to be going?" I wouldn't have asked had he not made mention that his father hated this guy so much. Suddenly, I didn't want Sinjun in the vicinity of him either. I thought I was trying to play big brother.  
  
Clark shook his head. "I can't tell. Sinjun sure is fidgeting a lot though."  
  
I frowned. "She's uncomfortable."  
  
I looked down at my cup when Clark turned to me. There was a long silence where I knew he was still watching me.  
  
"You and Sinjun are getting pretty close," he commented.  
  
I looked up sharply at that to find Clark grinning at me. I made a face. "I'm her employer, Clark. We have to know each other to work well together."  
  
Clark grinned like the teenager he was. "Work well together, huh?"  
  
I pursed my lips. "You know, Clark, sometimes I forget how old you are. Then wham! You remind me."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks, Lex. You're a real pal."  
  
"Clark Kent, are you spying on me?!"  
  
Clark's eyes widened in surprise at me before he turned and flashed the most innocent smile possible at his cousin who was suddenly standing beside our table, her arms folded over her chest. I hid my smile in my cup as I took another swallow of the cooling beverage.  
  
"Spy? Why would I spy on you, Sinj?" Clark asked blankly.  
  
Shaking her head in exasperation, Sinjun turned to look at me. "Hello Lex."  
  
I was a little surprised that she was speaking to me, and behaving so normally. I think I had been expecting her to be angry, to pout and make me suffer for my rudeness to her earlier. I found myself smiling at this unexpected but welcome change from most of the women I had known.  
  
"Hey Sinjun. How's the date going?"  
  
She glanced at the table where Billy Preston was currently loosening the caps on the salt and pepper shakers. She turned back to us, rolling her eyes. "I am beginning to wonder which of us is more miserable – him or me? We're both obviously being overly polite to one another just to get through the evening. I have tried to think of every possible way to call it off early but can't come up with anything." Sinjun looked at me. "You know how well I lie."  
  
I laughed, getting to my feet. "You really want out of this date? Let me take care of it."  
  
Clark and Sinjun looked at each other as I walked off toward the back table where Billy Preston was snickering to himself over the little prank he had just pulled. Some people were like pests in this world and deserved little better than being squashed like one.  
  
"Billy?"  
  
Sinjun's date looked up at me. He had obviously been a football player in high school. All shoulders, no neck, dull expression in his eyes. I really hoped this wasn't the kind of man Sinjun was attracted to. If so, I would have to lower my opinion of her a few notches.  
  
"You're that Luthor guy."  
  
Wow. He was brilliant, too. "Yeah. Look, I need Sinjun for an important matter that has come up at the Plant so you're on your own for the rest of the evening, big guy."  
  
"Huh? What?"  
  
Shaking my head, I walked back to the table where Clark and Sinjun were watching me. Call it my one good deed for the day. Actually, I was discovering that the entire situation had me unnerved and the good mood I had been in was quickly replaced by a darker one. I barely acknowledged either of them as I passed by, telling Sinjun she was off the hook because of some situation at the Plant and then I headed out the door. I barely made it to my car before Sinjun was right beside me, looking up at me with a slightly teasing expression.  
  
"Wow. You change moods faster than Kansas changes weather patterns." She actually sounded somewhat impressed.  
  
I glared at her. "Is there something you want?"  
  
"Well it would look kind of strange if you said I needed to accompany you to the Plant and then didn't leave with you, now wouldn't it?"  
  
"What about Clark?"  
  
"He said he was headed over to Pete's house."  
  
I ran my hand over my head in frustration. For some reason, I felt this was a really bad idea. Maybe it was Clark's teasing about the closeness that existed between me and Sinjun. Maybe it was that Neanderthal that Sinjun had gone out with. Or it could have been how close Sinjun was standing next to me at the moment, her distinct scent of honeysuckle and apples wafting around me. And maybe it was because I knew I was going to give in to her, even before she decided to tease me one last time.  
  
"Billy invited me to go cow tipping with him, but I think I would rather do that with you, Lex."  
  
I tried really hard not to smile at that comment. Really hard. It didn't work. Sinjun giggled beside me. Shaking my head, I opened the passenger door for her. "Get in, brat."  
  
She slid in and I shut the door, moving over to the other side and climbing in. Sinjun was already looking through my CD collection for something to listen to. She was frowning here and there, making faces as I revved the engine to life and pulled away from the Talon out onto Main Street. Removing the CD that was in the player, Sinjun slipped another in. In moments The Calling was blasting through the speakers. I was relieved that Sinjun had learned to be relaxed enough around me to make herself comfortable. At first, when we had begun to spend quite a bit of time together with work, I swear she considered asking me if it was all right when she breathed. It used to be when I gave her a ride that she would sit stiff and unmoving beside me, as if she were afraid she would break something. Especially after the accident with the Ferrari. Somewhere along the way, I had convinced her to behave around me the way she did with everyone else.  
  
"So did Bubba really invite you cow tipping?" I asked.  
  
I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see Sinjun smile beside me.  
  
"Billy. Geez. And yes, he really did. That was somewhere between my slapping his hands away and my slapping his hands away again."  
  
My own hands gripped the steering wheel hard. "He didn't try – "  
  
"Oh he did indeed," Sinjun interrupted, waving her hand as if it were nothing. "About the moment we drove away from the farm, as a matter of fact. Luckily, he had to keep one hand on the wheel. That was when I suggested the Talon, knowing it would be safer to keep him in a public place."  
  
I clenched my jaw, considering how exactly I could teach ol' Billy Preston a lesson. I asked the one question that was nagging me more than anything, "Why did you go out with him anyway?"  
  
Sinjun looked out the window, a purposeful turn of her head so that I couldn't see her face. I knew that maneuver well. Her small shoulders shrugged. "Guess I just jumped at the chance of actually being asked out, of someone being interested in me." She looked over at me quickly and her smile was a sad one. "Should have known better than to believe someone wanted to go out with me for me, huh?"  
  
"This self-deprecating crap isn't you," I snapped angrily.  
  
Sinjun blinked, turning her gaze back out the window. "Sorry."  
  
I sighed. I hadn't meant to snap like that but I held the market for self- deprecating comments and I didn't want Sinjun to turn out the same way. It would be like allowing Clark to believe he really wasn't one of the most loyal and generous people on Earth. Not knowing what to say, I remained silent and the music filled the gap that had grown between us.  
  
"If I give up on you I give up on me  
  
If we fight what's true, will we ever be  
  
Even if God himself and the faith I knew  
  
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you  
  
Tease me, by holding out your hand  
  
Then leave me, or take me as I am  
  
And live our lives, stigmatized"  
  
"I'm sorry about this afternoon," Sinjun said suddenly. "I didn't mean to pry."  
  
She was apologizing to me. I shook my head. "Sinjun, you have no reason to apologize to me. If anything, I should be asking your forgiveness for how I treated you when you were only trying to get me to talk."  
  
"We live our lives on different sides,  
  
But we keep together you and I  
  
Just live our lives, stigmatized  
  
We'll live our lives, we'll take the punches every day  
  
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way"  
  
When she didn't respond, I glanced over to see her chewing her lower lip, another nervous habit of hers and one that was positively endearing. I wondered what it would be like to… I mentally shook the thought from my head. She was the last person I needed to be thinking like that about. And I felt positively wretched for doing so. Sinjun was almost as innocent as her cousin. She didn't need my influence to corrupt her, turn her into something she wasn't, something she would one day despise me for. But I could admit to myself that something about her continued to draw me in, each and every day I was around her. Like tonight.  
  
She was dressed in a pale green, snug-fitting sundress that came to just above her knees, showing off her tanned, toned calves. She wore matching sandals with leather straps that wrapped around delicate ankles. Her dark hair was down and hanging past her shoulders, the way I preferred it. I allowed my gaze to flicker from the road over her once again, wondering what it was that continued to pull me in when I knew it was best to stubbornly refuse. Sinjun wasn't beautiful by any conventional sense. Her eyes were too wide, her face more rounded than oval, her nose just slightly turned-up at the tip. She was… sensual. That was the only word I could think of to describe her and it made me realize why Neanderthal man had asked her out. You would never see Sinjun on the cover of Vogue. But you might see her in Playboy. She was all curves and softness and woman and she made you think of cold nights in a warm bed.  
  
"Lex, wanna watch the road?"  
  
I started out of my reverie just in time to miss going into the ditch and silently cussed myself out for letting my mind wander. Especially about her. Especially the direction it did. Sinjun was not like Victoria or Claire or Nicola or Samantha or any of the others that I had used until I was bored or annoyed with them, enjoying their bodies that they so willingly bartered in return for my money and power. From the sounds of it, she was a virgin and would most likely marry the man who was her first sexual experience and I could not believe I was thinking about this stuff while she sat beside me, having no idea that I was wondering what it would be like to have her in my bed.  
  
"Lex, is something wrong?"  
  
"No. Why?"  
  
"You look like you are going to snap the steering wheel in two."  
  
I forced myself to relax my grip. I couldn't look at Sinjun. I started mentally calculating the quarterly returns for the Plant. I thought about Victoria and her treachery. Thought about my dad. Anything other than Clark's cousin.  
  
"We live our lives on different sides  
  
But we keep together you and I  
  
We live our loves on different sides"  
  
Thankfully, I pulled onto the Kent's drive a few moments later, stopping the car not far from the lemon yellow farmhouse. The lights were on in the kitchen and the family room. The damn place always looked so warm and inviting, like something on a Hallmark card. I wondered what it was like to live in a house like that, where one got fed home cooked meals made by mom that were likely from recipes handed down generation after generation and there were always others to sit at the table with and talk about your day and they actually cared about what you were saying and what you had done.  
  
"You always do that."  
  
I turned to see Sinjun watching me. Sometimes I thought she saw too much. I frowned. "What?"  
  
"Tense up when you get here." She cocked her head to the side and once more I feared that she would see too much.  
  
"Maybe its just fear that your uncle will one day shoot me in the head," I remarked flippantly, turning my gaze back out the window. I wanted her to go and leave me alone. I wanted her to stay and talk to me. I heard the car door open and relief flooded through me. And so did utter loneliness.  
  
"Lex?"  
  
I turned to look at her, leaning through the door, watching me, her expression as ever unguarded and thoughtful. There was concern there. I doubted it was directed at me, it was most likely that she feared I was angry with her or she had done something wrong. I tried to smile, to let her know that things were okay but I don't think it came out the way I meant it to because her expression only seemed to become more worried.  
  
"If you ever… " She hesitated, worried her lower lip again. "I mean, well… you shouldn't be worried about uncle Jonathon. Clark and I… we're your friends, you know?"  
  
She wanted to say more, I could see it. I was glad she didn't. "I know, Sinjun."  
  
Stay.  
  
Go.  
  
Sinjun hesitated, then she was leaning in the door, her knee pressed into the passenger seat and she kissed my cheek. It wasn't the first time she had done it. I doubted it would be the last. She was a touchy-feely person and I had forced myself to grow accustomed to it. It had been a while since she had last done this though and I had forgotten how soft her lips were, or the feel of her warm breath against my skin. For the first time, my body reacted to her nearness. In response, I jerked away from her, growing tense. I couldn't look at her. I took the car out of park, my foot on the brake, waited for her to leave.  
  
Sinjun sat back. "Wow. Seems like I'm doing everything wrong today." She pulled out and closed the door before I could say anything.  
  
It was better this way, I told myself as I tore away from the Kent farm and Sinjun. 


	6. Part Two - Apathy Chapter Two

1.1 PART TWO – Apathy  
  
1.2 CHAPTER TWO  
  
1.2.1 And he must confess  
  
All the impure thoughts of his beautiful temptress  
  
Although he keeps it all bottled up inside  
  
Although he keeps it all safe within his mind  
  
1.2.2  
  
1.2.3 Things Don't Always Turn Out That Way – The Calling  
  
  
  
I did something a little out of character for me. I called up Samantha Danfield, a woman I had dated briefly in Metropolis, and invited her to stay with me for a few weeks. Samantha came from an old Texas oil family, an eccentric group that my father preferred to ridicule rather than emulate. I liked Samantha quite a bit – much better than any of the other women I dated. She was just a bit too strong for my tastes, aggressive and forceful. Of course, she was already in charge of her father's wide-spread oil empire, and had been since his death just after her eighteenth birthday. She was twenty-five now and a force to be reckoned with.  
  
I've always enjoyed going out in public with Samantha just to see people's reactions to her. She stood six feet tall, and would wear heels to purposefully tower over myself and the other men she dated, which was one reason I called it off between us in the first place. It was just a tad daunting to have to crane your head to look up at the woman beside you. But she was an amazing sight. Golden blonde hair that fell to her waist in soft curls, dark blue eyes that could cut with just one look, a full sensual mouth and legs to her neck. Men would clamor over each other just to get near her. She was a living, breathing goddess. Too bad she wasn't my type. One could only imagine the children that woman would produce.  
  
Deep inside I knew this was a somewhat childish and selfish response to my recent reactions to Sinjun. I needed to get Clark's cousin out of my mind and I needed to make her understand that there could simply never be a future for us. It was my hope that she would see the type of woman I was interested in and realize she didn't have a chance. Then maybe she would end the attempts to get me to notice her.  
  
Unfortunately, even I knew I was well past simply noticing Sinjun. The work at the Plant didn't help. I started trying to work out of the office at home as often as possible, leaving her and Gabe to deal with the day-to- day activities. She noticed my withdrawal, she would have had to have been blind not to, but she never made any mention of it. As was Sinjun's typical behavior, she always greeted me warmly when we did see each other and acted as if nothing were amiss. But I knew her too well for that game. I could still read her as well as ever and there was always a visible hurt in her gaze that I knew I was putting there and every time I walked away from her, I felt like a complete and total bastard. Which I knew I was but that didn't help me feel any better about behaving that way toward her. Even Clark seemed to notice something was wrong between us because he finally came out and asked me about it. I had just said something about inappropriate employer/employee relations and left it at that. The damn kid gave me one of those knowing looks that left me feeling even lower than I already had.  
  
I was in the middle of a phone conversation with my father's Da Vinci contact when I heard the unmistakable sound of Samantha's heels as they clicked down the hallway. She entered the library, immediately dominating everything in the room, wearing little more than a skimpy bikini and sarong, diamonds dripping from her throat and wrists. Samantha was a poster child for the "Life of the Rich and Famous" even more than my old man. I took a moment to appreciate her legs, showed off to perfection in four inch heels, while the man on the other end of the line told me he would be contacting me soon with a date and time. I tossed the phone to the desk, watching as Samantha poured herself a drink.  
  
"Taking a swim?" I asked.  
  
"That beautiful heated, indoor pool and you never use it," she commented in her honeyed voice, turning to me. She slammed the scotch back quickly and I briefly remembered how she could easily drink me under the table.  
  
"No time to swim, Samantha. I have work to do, " I replied blandly.  
  
She made a face at that. "Really, Lex. You need a social life. While this is Smallville and likely has little going on, you need to do something other than sit behind that desk and perfect your plans for taking over the world over and over again. Keep that up and you'll turn out just like your father."  
  
If there was any one thing about Samantha that I admired – beyond her legs – it was her honesty. "Thanks for the encouragement."  
  
I was about to tell her that I was thinking of joining her for a swim when I heard the front door close and footsteps approaching down the hallway. Looking up, I was surprised to see Sinjun make her way into the library, dressed smartly in a white skirt and double-breasted jacket with low heels and her hair rolled into a bun on her head, held in place by a pencil. I hid my smile at her unique fashion sense. She was looking at me as she entered but then her gaze drifted to the right and she spied Samantha leaning against the couch, her Amazonian body displayed to perfection while she gave Sinjun the once-over. My PR Director's jaw seemed to hit the floor.  
  
"Sinjun," I greeted, not getting up. "Surprised to see you."  
  
"I… umm… " She stared at Samantha a while longer before finally turning her gaze to me. "I didn't mean to interrupt."  
  
"You're not interrupting. This is the houseguest I told you about last week. Sinjun, this is Samantha Danfield. Samantha, Sinjun St. Claire, the Director of PR for the Plant."  
  
Samantha walked over to shake Sinjun's hand. Night meet day, day meet night, I thought to myself, watching the two women before me with a slight smile. Sinjun seemed at a complete loss for words, which was quite a victory on my part. She was never at a loss for words.  
  
"It's nice to m… meet you, Ms. Danfield," Sinjun finally stuttered.  
  
Samantha smiled. "You too, sugar. Have you worked for Lex long?"  
  
"A few months," Sinjun replied quickly, turning her gaze to me almost imploringly.  
  
I wasn't going to let her off that easily. Standing, I walked around the desk, slipped my arm around Samantha's waist, ignoring for the moment that the woman beside me was four inches taller. Sinjun watched us for a long moment then quickly glanced down. I had to steady myself not to snatch my arm back and move away from Samantha. I could feel my houseguest watching me from her perch beside me at the desk and knew she would most likely ply me with questions once Sinjun left.  
  
"What can I do for you, Sinj?"  
  
"I… well… I – "  
  
"Sinjun, you're muttering," I commented. Damn, I was a rat bastard.  
  
She shot her gaze up to me, meeting my eyes. "I just wanted to tell you that I had an interesting meeting with a representative from Fortune magazine this morning. They want to do an article on you and the Plant. It seems that in the past few months production has risen so dramatically that Plant Number 3 now has the highest output rate in the country." She smiled at me. "I told him I would speak with you and set a date for an interview."  
  
I raised an eyebrow. Well, that was unexpected. Wonder what my father will think of that? Undoubtedly it would only serve to piss him off. I seriously questioned the chances of the article ever making it to print. But Sinjun was standing before me now, fairly bursting with excitement and pride that was written all over her face and there was this part of me that wanted to share in that with her. I wanted to invite her to dinner and celebrate and encourage her in her enthusiasm and bask in some of that glow that she was currently projecting. Unfortunately, the realistic side of me knew it would be a short-lived celebration and only support Sinjun in her interest in me. I had perfected the ability to be cold and unemotional – even if my father liked to accuse me otherwise – and I knew I had to hold on to that now. If I didn't, I would collapse under those arms I could see Sinjun was craving to throw around me in celebration.  
  
"Interesting," I replied finally. "Wonder who my father paid off for that?"  
  
Sinjun blinked. Looked from me to Samantha and back. "I… " She gnawed at her lower lip uncertainly. "I think this was sincere, Lex. I mean, things have been going well and the quarterly numbers are beyond expectation… " She trailed off, as if she had suddenly convinced herself that I wasn't buying it.  
  
I hate to say it but Sinjun is positively enchanting when she is nervous. Those eyes of hers only get wider and her cheeks redden and she starts sucking on that lip. She was fidgeting before us and I knew I was only drawing out her discomfort and it was cruel of me beyond reason and yet I allowed it to continue.  
  
Finally I helped divert her mind by asking, "How is the picnic coming? Only one week left. I hope everything is in order."  
  
"It'll be a great celebration!" Sinjun enthused, her eyes lighting up once more and her confidence returning. "Everyone is looking forward to it. Aunt Martha is going to bake a bunch of pies for the bake sale and uncle Jonathon is helping with the tent set up. The Carnival company arrived today and they are putting the rides together. Oh! And I received the bill from the fireworks company you work with."  
  
I grimaced. "I'll bet that isn't pretty."  
  
Sinjun shrugged. "We'll just forward it to your father."  
  
Beside me, Samantha laughed. "I think Miss St. Claire knows just how to handle the Luthors."  
  
Sinjun made a face at that but said nothing.  
  
"Yes, and I think I know just how my father would handle the receipt of that bill," I responded, fixing Sinjun in her place with my gaze.  
  
"Will you be attending the picnic, Ms. Danfield?" Sinjun asked, turning her attention and good manners to the woman beside me. "It's going to be a lot of fun. It would be a shame for you to miss it if you will be in town."  
  
Amazing, I thought. I should have expected Sinjun's good manners to override the jealousy that I momentarily glimpsed in her gaze.  
  
Samantha glanced at me then back to Sinjun. "Well I wasn't planning on leaving for awhile so I may just have to take you up on that offer, Miss St. Claire."  
  
"Sinjun," she corrected automatically.  
  
"That's a beautiful name," Samantha told her and I watched as Sinjun relaxed a little more, became less intimidated. "Is it a family name?"  
  
"Er… no. Just something my father came up with."  
  
I found myself losing my concentration once again. My body barely acknowledged the gorgeous woman standing beside me while my mind was firmly locked on the fidgety girl/woman in front of me. I wanted to ask her to stay and have dinner with us, I wanted to tell her how grateful I was that she came over and presented the news about Fortune magazine to me in person. I wanted to thank her for believing that I had something to with the Plant's recognition.  
  
Instead, I said, "Well, Samantha and I were just headed for a swim. So if I don't see you before then, I will see you at the picnic."  
  
I think this was the first time I had ever dismissed Sinjun as if she were little more than the household help. She even looked at me blankly for a long moment before slowly nodding.  
  
"Yes… I… I'm sorry again for intruding." Sinjun looked over at Samantha and offered a smile. "It was nice to meet you, Ms. Danfield and I do hope you make it to the picnic."  
  
"Well thank you, sugar. It was nice to meet you, too."  
  
"Goodbye, Lex."  
  
She didn't look at me again, moving in a rush to leave the room. The moment she disappeared, everything seemed darker, especially my mood. Sinjun had such a palpable presence and more and more I found myself wanting her around. And I knew I had to fight that. Every few minutes I spent in her company made me long for more, long for something I would never have and certainly did not deserve. I shook the thought from my head, disengaging my arm from Samantha's waist and walking back around the desk to my chair.  
  
"Thought we were going for a swim?" Samantha commented with a knowing look.  
  
"I changed my mind," I replied, not looking up.  
  
I felt her lean across the desk toward me. "That Sinjun is positively adorable."  
  
"Hmmm." I tried to appear engrossed in my work.  
  
Samantha tapped her nails against the desk. "She is obviously enthralled with you, though after the way you treat her I positively can't understand why. She is a sweet little thing though, so maybe she is just more forgiving than I would be in her position."  
  
I sighed. "Sam, do you have a point to all of this?"  
  
The blonde goddess laughed at me and stood. "I must say, Lex, I don't think I have ever seen you so riled over a female before. You're actually losing your cool."  
  
"I thought you were going swimming," I snapped, turning back to my monitors.  
  
"Don't know if I should now. I may accidentally drown," she replied sarcastically.  
  
I sighed, glared at her, which just made her laugh.  
  
"Fine, Lex. Remain behind that brick wall of yours. I really don't care. I'm off for a swim. Call me when dinner's ready."  
  
I was beginning to rethink my decision of having invited Samantha. She obviously saw something I thought I had been hiding relatively well. Then again, Samantha was extremely worldly and wise for her age. She had a lot of growing up to do in the past seven years and I have no doubt she saw more things than most. She was jaded and cynical like me but didn't have the issues I did with letting people in. Then again, people have always liked her, never judged her. The fact that Samantha instantly liked Sinjun said something for her character. I leaned back in my chair and sighed. I knew that after today's little performance, my houseguest wasn't going to let me get any peace and quiet.  
  
****  
  
The next day I was going over the accountants from the Plant while Samantha lounged on the couch, flipping through some trashy romance novel. I was having difficulty concentrating or even keeping my eyes open. I had suffered through another nightmare shortly after falling to sleep and couldn't find the strength to shut my eyes again afterwards. This time my father had been standing over my mother's dead body, a bloody knife in his hand. When I had asked him why he had done it, he had said that this was what happens to all people who fail him. And then he had come at me. I had been unable (unwilling?) to fight him off and he had shoved the knife through my chest. I had quickly awakened myself after that. I usually did after my father murdered me in my dreams. Oh yeah, it wasn't the first time.  
  
"Hey Lex!"  
  
I looked up with a smile to see Clark walk into the room, much more comfortable around my place than he used to be. Looking properly farmboy dressed in jeans, snug-fitting t-shirt and work boots, Clark always seemed larger than life when he entered a room. And Samantha certainly noticed him, her gaze sweeping over him appreciatively.  
  
"Must be produce day," I commented with a smile, climbing to my feet.  
  
"That it is." Clark was looking over at Samantha, his gaze thoughtful.  
  
I introduced Clark and Samantha to one another. "This is Sinjun's cousin," I added for Samantha's benefit.  
  
"Oh?" Samantha stood from the couch to shake Clark's hand. I saw his eyes widened in obvious pleasant surprise as he looked at her. "That adorable young lady who was here yesterday? I see the resemblance."  
  
"Clark's adopted," I told her blandly. "So they aren't blood related."  
  
Samantha turned a cool gaze to me. "I meant in their manners, Lex. Something which the Luthors have always been obviously lacking."  
  
I raised a brow at that but didn't respond. Instead, I turned to Clark who was grinning at both of us, obviously enjoying our little interplay. "Would you like to join us for lunch, Clark? I'm certain Samantha would love to have an audience while she further humiliates me."  
  
"Lex, sweetie, I don't need an audience for that," she drawled.  
  
Clark laughed, caught my look and quickly sobered. "No.. erm… I have to get the rest of the produce delivered and then run a few errands for my mom. I actually stopped by to give you an invitation."  
  
"Invitation?" I smirked. "Are the Kent's having a dinner party? And how the hell did you convince your parents to invite me?"  
  
"It's not like that," he corrected, grinning. "Sinjun's birthday is on the third and we're throwing a little party for her and knowing how you are friends and all, mom wondered if you would be interested in coming by. It's just gonna be a small gathering, a few friends, a barbeque and cake, stuff like that."  
  
"I don't think – " I began but Samantha quickly cut me off.  
  
"We would love to, Clark."  
  
Dammit. I glared. She smiled. Clark looked between us, confused. I finally gave in and turned a smile to Clark.  
  
"We'll be there. But probably not for long. Just enough to bring the birthday girl a gift, say hello."  
  
"I'm sure you don't need to bring her a gift," Clark commented, hooking his thumbs in his jeans. "Sinj will just be happy to have you there. This is her first birthday without her parents. Mom wants it to be special."  
  
Samantha glanced at Clark. "She lost her parents?"  
  
He nodded. "A few months ago in a car accident."  
  
"The poor thing," she sympathized then flashed me a glare as if it were my fault or something. "You will most certainly put in a stronger appearance than simply 'stopping by', Lex Luthor," she told me.  
  
"Yes, mother."  
  
Clark laughed again, obviously enjoying my discomfort. "Sinjun was right about you, Ms. Danfield."  
  
"Oh?" Samantha turned a curious expression to him. "What did she say?"  
  
"Only that you were the nicest and most personable of Lex's friends that she's met."  
  
She hooted at that. "What an absolute darling she is!"  
  
And then Samantha playfully punched me in the arm. Only it wasn't that playful and it hurt like hell.  
  
"Well I need to get going," Clark told us. "I'll let mom know you're coming."  
  
"Great," I responded, trying not to drown in sarcasm. Clark just gave me a strange look, then waved and disappeared around the corner.  
  
"Well," Samantha commented with a smile. "If there are more like him around, I could be convinced to give up Dallas for Smallville."  
  
I groaned. "He's fifteen, Sam. Down."  
  
She shrugged. "The younger they are, the easier they are to train."  
  
I sighed. How did I get myself into these situations? Sometimes I wondered if there wasn't someone up there playing some great cosmic joke on me. I had spent the past few weeks doing everything I could to forget about Sinjun and get her to forget about me. And now I was going to her birthday party.  
  
And there was a hidden part of me that couldn't wait until that day got here.  
  
I spent the rest of the week between trips to Metropolis with Samantha where the paparazzi seemed determined to dog our every step and a couple of days at work where I rarely glimpsed Sinjun. I think she was avoiding me as much as I was her and while I should have been pleased that my plan was working, I found that all I really wanted to do was take her to lunch, invite her into the office to go over some media releases, talk to her about nothing in particular. Twice that week I picked up the phone and almost pressed the speed dial to her cell. Both times I convinced myself otherwise before doing so. More and more I began to wonder if hiring Sinjun had been a wise idea in the first place.  
  
Maybe for once my father was right.  
  
****  
  
When Samantha and I pulled up to the Kent farm the night of the third, there were picnic tables sat up under the trees in the yard, covered in brightly colored table cloths, ballooned centerpieces and bowls of food. Pete and Clark stood near a large oak where Chloe was blithely swinging back and forth on a tire swing. Martha Kent was setting out a heaping bowl of potato salad on the center table where Gabe Sullivan was chatting with his wife and others from the plant, including Randy McAllister and Roland Chalmers. Jonathon was hovering over the barbeque toward the back of the yard. He looked up as we entered the grassy area and frowned. I waved, turning my attention to Martha who was walking up to greet me and Samantha.  
  
"Lex, I'm so glad that you could make it. I know Sinjun will be pleased." Clark's mother smiled warmly.  
  
It always amazed me how welcome she attempted to make me feel. I wondered selfishly if I was ever the cause of arguments between her and her husband. "Good evening, Mrs. Kent. Thank you for inviting me. This is a friend of mine, Samantha Danfield."  
  
"Nice to meet, you Ms. Danfield."  
  
"The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Kent." Samantha smiled. "Where is the birthday girl?"  
  
"Oh, she is inside on the phone with a friend from college. I'm sure she'll be out soon. Please make yourselves at home. Drinks and snacks are set out and dinner should be ready soon."  
  
Martha hurried away from us over to Jonathon, probably warning him to be on his best behavior for the evening. Samantha moved away from me, saying she was going to grab a few drinks for us and say hello to Gabe. I tossed Sinjun's gift to the table, glanced over at Clark, thinking about going over to talk to him but Pete was there and things were still a little uncomfortable with the whole attempted shooting thing. The day was unbelievably hot and standing in the shade did nothing to cool it. Damn Kansas weather. At least in Metropolis one could hide out in air conditioned buildings without ever stepping outside. I moved toward the house, telling myself I was only going inside to cool off, while opening the back door and stepping into the kitchen, knowing I was lying to myself.  
  
Sinjun was leaning against the counter, the phone against her ear, dressed in dark blue shorts and a white tank top, showing off her tanned, toned arms. She glanced over as the door closed behind me and her eyes widened slightly in surprise. I gave her a small smile, looked away, trying not to listen to her conversation, found myself doing so anyway.  
  
"Well, thanks for calling. I really appreciate it but I need to get going… " She laughed and I found myself looking in her direction again, enjoying the smile that spread across her face and the animation in her eyes. "I'll remember that… Yeah, well you're no spring chicken, either!... Hug your mom for me. Talk to you later. Bye."  
  
"You don't need to hang up on my account," I told her as she set the phone down.  
  
Sinjun flashed me a nasty look. I mean, I wasn't accustomed to getting such a reaction from her. I guess my behavior the other day worked to achieve what I had wanted it to. And now I regretted it.  
  
"Like anything I chose to do would be on your account, Lex," she quipped back at me, grabbing some napkins from the counter and pushing past me to move outside.  
  
I reached out, touching her shoulder, stopping her. I didn't like this tension between us. Not one bit.  
  
"Sinj, did I do something to upset you?" Okay, I know I was playing stupid but I couldn't admit to her that I knew I was being ass and had been doing it all on purpose and now found myself regretting that decision.  
  
Sighing, she shook her head. "No," she lied. "Just edgy I guess. I am always like this on my birthday. I hate getting older. And… " she trailed off.  
  
I knew what she was about to say. Birthdays were supposed to be shared with family. Hers wasn't there. I knew the feeling. I also knew that my actions the past few weeks had upset her but she wasn't willing to admit it and I wasn't going to force her to acknowledge it. Instead, I picked up on the one emotion I knew I could at least empathize with.  
  
"You wish your parents were here."  
  
Sinjun looked up at me, watching silently for a long moment before finally nodding. "Yeah. Yes, that's it. And I feel selfish and spoilt for wanting that. Aunt Martha and uncle Jonathon and Clark have done everything to make me feel at home and to make today special and I feel wretched for wanting more. I just… It feels very unfair to me that they aren't here, that they never will be here again and I don't even want to celebrate without them."  
  
I reached out and tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear, my fingers brushing over her cheek. I shouldn't have touched her, I shouldn't have attempted to offer comfort. It wasn't in me to do so and yet here I was and I should have walked away but I had gotten used to seeing Sinjun with happiness and joy in her gaze and she sure as hell shouldn't have been hurting on her birthday. At that moment I would have done anything to make her smile. And that was my mistake.  
  
"You're going to have to let them go eventually, Sinjun. I didn't know them but I am fairly certain they wouldn't want you to be unhappy on your birthday. I think they would want you to forget the past and look on to the future, share in the happiness of this day with those people who care about you."  
  
I said too much. I was babbling. I was opening myself up and I should have backed off. I should have walked out of there at that moment. I realized my hand was still lingering over Sinjun's cheek and my thumb moved out to stroke across her jaw line. I found myself imagining what it would be like to place my lips there, to trail my tongue down her neck, to nip at the sensitive skin at the juncture of her shoulder and soothe it with kisses. My fingers were suddenly moving down her neck, as if following my imagination, acting out what I was envisioning. Sinjun was staring up at me, silent. We were so close that I could see the soft gold flecks in her eyes, which were darkening slightly as I touched her. I recognized that emotion – desire. Something I was well schooled in. The tips of my fingers rested at her collar bone. I realized that all I had to do was lean in, just the space of a few inches, and Sinjun would be instantly mine. The thought was both tempting… and immediately sobering.  
  
I dropped my hand, stepped back, pulled away from her gaze. I thought I saw a flash of disappointment. I ignored it. "What I mean," I continued as if I had not stopped. "Is that you should concentrate on what you have, not what is missing from your life."  
  
Sinjun laughed bitterly and it was an ugly sound. "Maybe you should follow your own advice." Then she was out the door and it was slamming against the frame.  
  
Damn. Shit. I followed her out, immediately went over to Samantha, wrapped my arm around her waist, pulled her close, focused on her blonde hair and blue eyes and ignored the dark haired, green eyed innocent who was standing beside her aunt, complete oblivious to the turmoil she sent spiraling through me. Damn her, she sent my senses reeling. I never thought straight when she was around. I found myself wanting something I couldn't have. Wanting to be someone I wasn't. I forced myself to focus on being the person everyone expected me to be. I kissed Samantha's bare shoulder, winked at Chloe who was watching me with narrowed eyes. I spread on the arrogance as thickly as I could. Pete shifted uncomfortably, looked like he wanted to run away. Clark cast a quick glance my way but continued his conversation with Samantha.  
  
I just wanted to leave. Run away. Hide in my mansion and never come near the Kent farm again. I ever briefly considered firing Sinjun, just to rid myself of the temptation her presence always offered. I would never do that, though. Not to her. Not to myself.  
  
I didn't want to stay but we did. Samantha seemed to be getting along with everyone, even Jonathon. We sat at the table with Gabe and the other plant employees for the meal, which consisted of potato salad, ribs, corn on the cob and greasy biscuits. It was the richest food I had ever eaten but to be polite I ate every bit of it. It was very good, I can admit that. Just not what I was used to. I grinned over at Samantha who dove into it like a pro, commenting that it reminded her of family gatherings back home in Texas. The conversation was comfortable and animated but through it all, I keenly felt Sinjun's presence across the yard where she sat with Clark, his parents and Chloe and Pete. Their laughter continued to float over to us and I found myself wondering if I had ever been that free and exultant. I don't think so. I don't think I ever could. Was there really such a thing in life as the joy and freedom to laugh with such carefree abandon? I hated myself for asking the question. And I hated myself for coveting what Clark and Sinjun had all of their lives.  
  
By the time we left, shortly after nightfall, I was in a wretched mood. Everyone had caught on and basically left me alone. Clark had approached once and tried to get me to talk to him but I had smiled to try and lessen the refusal, telling him it was nothing important. Samantha had whispered I was being an ass and I told her I didn't care. I just wanted to leave. She made our excuses for me while I had headed to the car. I frowned at the memory as I turned down the road toward the manor. I'm certain Jonathon Kent had a few things to say regarding my behavior.  
  
"Interesting gift you gave Sinjun," Samantha commented dryly beside me.  
  
I winced.  
  
I had gone for the most impersonal thing I could think of.  
  
Everyone had gathered around after dinner to watch Sinjun open her gifts. Gabe and the others at the office had pooled together and bought her the entire collection of Bond books. Chloe had found an old picture of Sinjun's parents from the Prom at Smallville High when they had attended and Pete had purchased a frame for it that they had placed it in. Earlier in the day, her aunt and uncle had gifted her with a real horse, something I guess she had been wanting to replace since she had left Smallville with her family originally. Clark gave her an English saddle and bridal to accompany it. Then Sinjun opened my gift. Impersonal, remember.  
  
She blinked. Looked up at me. I could see her trying to think of something to say. "Business cards. Um… thank you, Lex."  
  
I ignored the strange looks I was getting, especially from Samantha. Well hell, its not as if they were cheap. They had the LuthorCorp logo embossed in the corner and they were etched in gold leaf and proclaimed her as the Director of Public Relations for Chemical Plant Number Three in Smallville. Well they were a hell of a lot more practical than spy novels.  
  
The worst of it was, as I was hurrying towards the car, trying to get out of there, Sinjun had followed me. To thank me, both for coming to her party and her gift. I hadn't known what to say. While she stood there looking up at me, being gracious and thoughtful, all I kept thinking about were the things I had really wanted to give her. I would have gladly used my father's connections to get Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan to come to her party. I would have purchased her a gold Aston Martin, just like Bond drove in Goldfinger. I wanted to give her a herd of Arabians and a double-decker Carousel besides, just to sit in the yard. I could have flown her and every guest to Paris where we could have celebrated in style on the Eiffel Tower, with fireworks exploding in the night sky to mark the occasion. I would have done it all and more.  
  
But I couldn't.  
  
"Was that your way of telling her you weren't interested?" Samantha asked, pulling me from my reverie.  
  
I frowned. Sometimes her prying was damn obnoxious. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Sam."  
  
Samantha laughed. "Of course you don't, Lex." She shook her blonde mane. "You know, I have always wondered what it is you are constantly punishing yourself for."  
  
I pulled the car into the garage, glared at her. "You're making no sense. You do realize that, don't you?"  
  
"I am making perfect sense, Lex, and you know it." She slammed the door as she got out of the car and followed me toward the manor. "In the years that I have known you, I have seen you many times start to go after something you want and then, just when you get within reach, you deny yourself. Now you're doing it again and for the life of me, I can't figure out why. Is this some form of self-inflicted torture you learned from your father?"  
  
Was I that obvious? I tried not to let her see my concern. Unfortunately, Samantha had no plans to let me off that easily.  
  
"The problem is, when it has always come down to your desire for a woman, you have simply taken what you wanted. This is the first time I have seen you deny yourself the baser instinctual pleasures."  
  
"Shut up, Sam," I told her, walking into to the library for a drink.  
  
She followed me in, continuing, "Could it be that there is something different about Sinjun St. Claire? Could it be that Lex Luthor is looking for more than a simple romp in the bedroom with this little country girl?"  
  
"Samantha." I turned to her. "You might want to stop before you really piss me off."  
  
Raising an arched brow at that, she replied, "You don't scare me, Lex. You can't touch me and you damn well know it. Besides, I am simply trying to be a friend to you right now. You are obviously attracted to her, though I will admit she seems a tad provincial for your tastes but then, maybe I have simply never known the real Lex Luthor."  
  
"You haven't and you still don't." I slammed back the scotch in one swallow, dropping the glass loudly to the bar.  
  
"I think I hit a nerve."  
  
"Get out of here, Sam," I snapped, walking over to my desk, determined to lose myself in work.  
  
Samantha shrugged. "Very well. Have a nice evening." She turned to leave then turned back. "By the way, I am going back to Dallas in the morning."  
  
"What?" Ah hell.  
  
"Sorry, sugar, but I have a business to run, you know. As much as I have enjoyed these few weeks with you, I must return to all of my darling cowboys."  
  
"Can't you wait until after this infernal picnic tomorrow?" I asked in frustration.  
  
"Nope. You'll just have to go by yourself, Lex. Call me and let me know how it goes. Goodnight, darling."  
  
She walked off, leaving me to ponder my strategy for getting out of tomorrow's activity.  
  
****  
  
Unfortunately, I couldn't think of a proper excuse not to make an appearance at my own Fourth of July celebration so I finally convinced myself to just drive out to the Plant and get it over with. I didn't want to see Sinjun and hoped that she was too busy with everything going on to notice my presence there. The longer I dwelled on it, the angrier I was with myself for how I had treated her the day before. I should have given her a thoughtful gift as opposed to something that would keep my own emotions safely shut away.  
  
I parked near the office and took my time circling the building to the back field where the celebration had been set up. It was like walking into the middle of a permanent carnival. There were rides, including a small Ferris wheel, a row of games including the pie throw and dunk tank, food vendors, clowns with balloons, a petting zoo and tents filled with ongoing events. A nearby Barber Shop Quartette was competing with the loud sounds of a Blue Grass band from the other side of the field. People streamed past me – employees and their families, townspeople, kids everywhere. Some said hello, others frowned, whispered to one another, hurried by me as if I were a venomous snake.  
  
It was another hot and humid day. I rubbed a hand at the back of my neck absently, feeling a headache coming on. It would be better if I left, I knew. My presence obviously made some people uncomfortable and this day was for them and I knew I was completely out of place among the crowd. I decided then that I would finish my lap around the field, say hello to some of the supervisors and then head back to the mansion. Confident in my decision, I had just made it past the cotton candy stand when I heard:  
  
"Where's Ms. Danfield?"  
  
I turned to find Sinjun watching me, a half empty stick of pink cotton candy in one hand, a glob of the fluffy stuff in the other. I found myself smiling automatically. "Actually, she had to get back to Texas. She said to tell you she was sorry she couldn't make it but thanks for the invitation."  
  
"So you're here all by yourself?"  
  
I shrugged. "Aren't I always?"  
  
Sinjun frowned and I realized I had said too much. I did that around her. Said things I normally would have kept to myself. I took a step back.  
  
"Well, I am just making the rounds and then I am out of here." I turned to leave.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" She was beside me suddenly, sliding her arm through mine. "You owe it to your employees to be seen here, to have fun. And you owe it to yourself too."  
  
"I am thinking of the employees, Sinjun," I told her in exasperation. "And they would be more comfortable and have more fun if Lex Luthor wasn't hanging around."  
  
Sinjun frowned again and turned her gaze up to meet mine. "Do you really believe that Lex? Did you ever stop to think these people are too busy having fun with their families and enjoying themselves to give a damn what you are doing?"  
  
I raised my eyebrows at that. "Sinjun – "  
  
"Oh hush, Lex, and try to enjoy yourself for once," she admonished. "You just might discover that life is actually kind of fun."  
  
"I never said I didn't find life fun," I grumbled but found myself allowing her to lead me deeper into the crowd.  
  
"Cotton candy?" She offered.  
  
"Erm… no, thank you."  
  
"See? No fun."  
  
"Unfortunately, unlike some, I do not have any particular desire to eat pure sugar turned the consistency of cotton."  
  
Shrugging, Sinjun tossed what was left into a nearby garbage can. "Your loss."  
  
I frowned. "Why did you throw that away?"  
  
"Because if I ate that entire thing along with the corn dog, funnel cake, caramel apple and candied popcorn that I have eaten so far, I would be severely ill," she explained as if I should have known that to begin with.  
  
"You're not sick already?" I was just hearing it.  
  
Sinjun shook her head. "Everyone knows that days like this are meant for stuffing yourself." She craned her neck suddenly, attempting to look through the crowd. "Speaking of, its time for the chili cook off. Come on, you can be one of the judges."  
  
"I don't think so, Sinjun," I told her, digging my heels into the ground to keep her from dragging me off toward the nearby tent. "I'm not exactly a chili connoisseur."  
  
"No one is asking you to be, Lex. Just go in there, taste each batch, compliment its maker and leave your silent choice for what you thought was best. Trust me on this. These people are going to be pleased that you simply took the time to try their chili."  
  
I did trust her. She sensed my capitulation and grabbed my hand, pulling me through the throng of people, some of which called out "Hello, Mr. Luthor", "Nice to see you, Mr. Luthor" "Happy Fourth, Mr. Luthor". I just wanted to scream that my name was Lex and I was not Mr. Luthor. I tried to be gracious though and smile back in the direction that each greeting came from. We reached the tent sooner than I would have liked and the judging committee actually seemed pleased to have me there. I recognized each of them from the Plant floor but couldn't remember their names. Sinjun introduced them, knew exactly where they worked and asked after their families. I watched her, impressed. This was exactly the type of person you always wanted around you when dealing with your employees. I wouldn't have been surprised if she knew their birthday's as well.  
  
I spent the next hour following Sinjun from table to table where she would introduce me to the employee or the employee's spouse and then we would each taste the chili they had created. Some weren't too bad. Others were downright horrid. There was this one – I won't say whose to protect the innocent – that we each took a bite of and the simple looks we exchanged with one another spoke volumes. Sinjun had wriggled her eyebrows at me humorously and I had to fight the impulse to just lean over and kiss her. And I mentally kicked myself for allowing that impulse to sneak in.  
  
Most everyone we met with appeared both mildly surprised and yet pleased that I was there. Oh I am more than certain that there were a few who would have gladly slipped cyanide into the chili had they been warned ahead of time that I was coming, but the majority were friendly and welcoming. After tasting the last batch, Sinjun handed me a score card and we whispered with one another for a moment while we filled them out before handing them in to the committee. It was a few minutes while the votes were tallied and then I was asked to read off the winner. It seemed it was a unanimous vote for Becky Summers, whose husband was one of our onsite scientists. Sinjun whispered to me that maybe we should hire the wife in her husband's place since her recipes seemed to get her further than his experiments did. I poked her in the side to shut her up as the beaming woman and her husband approached to collect the prize, which included a $200 shopping spree at Fordman's and her recipe to be printed in the Smallville Ledger.  
  
"See? That wasn't bad, now was it?" Sinjun asked as we left the tent. She was smiling up at me, her eyes going translucent in the sunlight.  
  
I allowed a slight smirk. "I may never eat another bite of chili again." I glanced around. "So what – "  
  
"Sinjun! There you are!"  
  
Sinjun and I turned to see Gabe hurry over to us. He glanced at me as if he were surprised to see me there, said hello, then turned to Sinjun. "Major problem. The Mayor can't make it for the dunk tank. So who do we sucker into it now? Principal Kwan has already done his turn and I am not on for another two hours."  
  
I was shaking my head before she even turned her pleading gaze to me. "No, Sinjun."  
  
"Oh, come on, Lex," she begged. "It won't be that bad. Just give it a half an hour. That's all I ask."  
  
I knew I was going to have to think fast to get out of this one. I cast a look to Gabe and he quickly caught on, telling Sinjun he would go see if he could find anyone else and moved away. "I have nothing to change into."  
  
"I'll have Clark run to your place and grab some extra clothes."  
  
Damn. "No."  
  
"Lex – "  
  
"Pleading isn't going to help, Sinjun. A Luthor does not sit in a dunk tank."  
  
"What about Lex?" She searched my face and I tried to shut her out, to put that mask back in place and build up the reinforcements but it was too late. She had already found a crack to peer through. "Why don't you try not being a Luthor today and just be Lex? The Lex who wants to make a difference in this town. The Lex I see and would like everyone else to see."  
  
I flashed her a sharp look. "You don't know me, Sinjun. Don't pretend that you do."  
  
She looked away for a moment then turned back to me. "Maybe I don't. But that's only because you won't let me. What's your excuse?"  
  
I blinked. I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with her. I glanced around, glaring at the few people who were surreptitiously watching us until they looked away. I turned back to Sinjun, unleashing the sudden anger I felt at her insistence for something that was never going to happen.  
  
"Don't start with me, Sinjun. I am not in the mood for this. I'm sick of you trying to pretend like you are oh so wise and in tune to who and what I am and what's best for me," I snapped, asking myself why I was saying this with each and every word I uttered. I didn't stop there. "For a naïve farm girl from Kansas, you sure as hell seem to believe you know what's right for the son of a billionaire who lives a life you can't even begin to imagine."  
  
Sinjun was pale and silent when I finished. I wanted to take every word back and I couldn't. We just stared at each other. Then she looked away. She started to walk away. And I knew I couldn't let it end there. I reached out for her arm, stopped her, pulled her back, knowing I should have let it go. It would have made things easier. The path would have ended then and there. But I foolishly continued down the road set before me. Sinjun did that to me. She did all kinds of things to me, very few of which I could actually make any sense out of. When I was around her, I was torn between wanting to be like my father – cold, dispassionate and emotionless – and something else that I couldn't quite identify just yet.  
  
"Sinj, I'm sorry," I told her softly. "I didn't mean a word of that. I've been so on edge lately and I guess you just set me off. You know I would never hurt you."  
  
"Funny, since you just did," she replied, still refusing to meet my gaze.  
  
I dropped her arm, looked out into the crowd. "I know. I… " I couldn't think of what to say or how to explain myself. Not here. Not now. Maybe someday, if I ever gave in to the need to be alone with her. Turning my gaze back to her face, I asked, "Please forgive me? Please believe that outburst was not directed at you. Isn't there anything I can do to make you believe that?"  
  
I knew I was going to pay for this one.  
  
I spent a full hour in the dunk tank. I refuse to admit to how many times I was dunked.  
  
True to form, Jonathon Kent showed up and spent twenty minutes dunking me as it was. He never missed. Clark took a few shots too. I think he enjoyed it almost as much as his father did. Was I humiliated? Hell yeah. But then again, there was a small part of it that was almost fun. Sure, it drew one hell of a crowd and I doubted I would ever be able to look any of these people in the eye again but then there were some things that were more important to me at the moment, and that was not loosing Sinjun's misguided faith in me.  
  
She was waiting for me when I came out of the small tent that served as a changing room. Clark had gone to the house and Brandon had given him a pair of navy blue slacks and matching dress shirt to return with. Sinjun smiled at me as I approached.  
  
"Well?" She asked.  
  
"I told you your uncle would hock the farm to humiliate me."  
  
Sinjun laughed. "Actually, Lex, I think his opinion of you rose a few notches."  
  
I offered no reply, thinking to myself how terribly wrong Sinjun obviously was. Changing the subject, I asked, "So what next in this day of fun?" I tried to be sarcastic but it didn't really come out that way. Of course, I would never admit that maybe I was having fun. Maybe just a little.  
  
"Now you bid for a picnic basket, find a spot on the field to watch the fireworks, eat your dinner and wait for the show."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Sinjun laughed at me and took my hand. I adored her smile and enjoyed the feeling of her hold on me. I had been trying so hard to ignore her and now I found myself wanting to just ignore those promises I made to myself for this one day and accept all that she was silently offering. I knew I couldn't let it last and I knew I couldn't allow myself to become lost or comfortable in it. But maybe, just for a few more hours, I could see what it was like to be a part of Sinjun's world. 


	7. Part Two - Apathy Chapter Three

1.1 PART TWO – Apathy  
  
1.2 CHAPTER THREE  
  
Disarm you with a smile  
  
And leave you like they left me here  
  
To wither in denial  
  
The bitterness of one who's left alone  
  
1.2.1 Ooh, the years burn  
  
1.2.2 Disarm – Smashing Pumpkins  
  
  
  
Sinjun hadn't been lying when she said that everyone would be bidding on a picnic basket for dinner. It seemed every woman who was connected to the Plant – employees, spouses, daughters, sisters, whatever – had created a special "meal for two" in a picnic basket which was then bid on in an auction and the winner got both the meal and the choice to share it with it's creator. All of the money raised was going to the Local Farmer's Disaster Fund . It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard of. I stood in the back and watched as the baskets quickly sold, with those made by women who were known to be good cooks going for the highest dollar. Martha Kent's basket was announced and there was about 2.5 seconds there that I considered bidding for it until I noticed her husband scowling at me. He and Clark and a few others bid on it and Clark finally won. I had no doubt there was enough for the family packed away in it anyway. I glanced around for Sinjun, prepared to tell her that I had been there long enough and was going to head home but she had disappeared sometime earlier to help with the auction. I knew I couldn't leave until I saw her.  
  
Randy McAllister was the hawker for the auction and I watched as he paused for a moment, grabbing another basket, whispering to someone to the side of the stage then moving back to the microphone. "Okay, our next basket has been prepared by a certain someone without whom we would not all be here today, sweating our ever-lovin' asses off!" The crowd laughed appreciatively. "And I just get the feeling the bidding is going to go through the roof on this, just for the chance to spend some quality time in this young lady's company. So, without further ado, why don't we start the bidding on Sinjun's basket at twenty dollars."  
  
I blinked. Sinjun? My gaze narrowing, I scanned the front of the stage to see her just below Randy, rolling her eyes at his antics. Around me, the bidding was quickly rising, just as my dock supervisor had predicted. Even her uncle was bidding. Then I heard a familiar voice call out, "Fifty bucks!"  
  
I glanced in the direction of the voice and recognized that Neanderthal named Bubba, or whatever, who Sinjun had recently gone out with. The "handsy" one that Jonathon Kent didn't trust. I didn't hesitate a moment longer.  
  
"Two hundred dollars," I called out. There, see if Bubba tries to outbid that.  
  
Around me there was silence as all eyes turned to me. I kept my gaze trained on the front of the stage where Sinjun stood, grinning knowingly in my direction. Damn her all to hell.  
  
"Uh… " Randy stammered. "Two hundred dollars. Going once, twice… And Sinjun's basket goes to Mr. Luthor for two hundred dollars."  
  
Lex, dammit. The crowd seemed to snap out of their fugue and began chattering to each other all at once, and I looked over at Jonathon who was really giving me a flat out dirty look and I considered smiling or something but found myself just looking away. Sinjun had grabbed the basket and was moving through the crowd toward me, stopping occasionally to speak to someone before moving on. I wanted her to hurry. Too many people were casting speculative glances my way now, and I was beginning to wonder if there weren't some secret small town code that doesn't allow people to bid higher than fifty dollars for a goddamned meal. Not that I would have been surprised to find out I had screwed up again.  
  
Sinjun came up to me, basket hooked under her arm. "Will that be cash or charge, Mr. Luthor?" She asked coyly.  
  
I frowned, pulling out my wallet and handing her two hundred dollar bills. She stared at them for a moment then looked up at me, shaking her head.  
  
"You know, it's probably not safe to walk around with quite that much cash on you. What was in there? Like a thousand? Two thousand?"  
  
"You never know when you're going to have to buy an over-priced picnic basket," I replied.  
  
Sinjun laughed. "Well, here you go." She handed me the basket then turned to leave.  
  
"Hey!" I grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "I thought you'd be eating with me."  
  
"Oh, I'm extra," she told me innocently.  
  
"Sinjun – "  
  
"Relax, Lex. I'm teasing. Just let me go give this money to Randy, and I'll be right back, okay?"  
  
I nodded, watching her closely as she walked off. I wished Brandon were there, then he could be holding this silly looking basket instead of me. I'd never felt so out of place in my life. People were still staring. I stared back, frowning at each and every gaze until they finally looked away. I relaxed a little when I saw Clark headed toward me, grinning from ear to ear, his mother's basket hooked under his arm.  
  
"You sure paid a pretty penny to have your stomach pumped," he joked as he reached me.  
  
"Are you warning me off from your cousin's food?" I asked, turning to greet Martha as she walked up to join her son.  
  
"Now, Clark," Martha told him. "You hush. You know very well that Sinjun is an excellent cook. Don't go scaring Lex like that. Just because she had some issues with the chicken…"  
  
I raised my eyebrows at that. "Chicken? Is there something I should know?"  
  
Clark chuckled. "Sinjun cooked dinner for us last week and made fried chicken. Almost set the house on fire. The chicken was blacker than coal. Mom made us eat it anyway, to be nice."  
  
I was ready to ask for my money back.  
  
Sinjun appeared suddenly at my side, glaring at her cousin. "She made you eat it because you were making fun of me, and it pissed me off," she countered. "Besides, it wasn't my fault. I told you I can't handle frying things because the grease scares me but no you demanded fried chicken. You did it on purpose."  
  
Martha looked at me and rolled her eyes between the two of them while they both resorted to sticking their tongues out at one another. I tried to remember if I had ever stuck my tongue out at someone. Maybe a few of my nannies. But not in the last 12 years or so.  
  
"Are you two going to join us?" Martha asked. "We brought the big blanket and have a perfect place already picked out for the fireworks."  
  
"I don't think so," Sinjun replied. "I'd like Lex to enjoy himself and try to relax before he implodes or something equally unsightly, and I don't see uncle Jonathon allowing that to happen."  
  
I sighed. Martha made a face.  
  
"I don't think your uncle will – "  
  
"Oh yes he will," Clark, Sinjun and myself all replied at once.  
  
Martha laughed in surprise. "All right. I won't ask again. You two have fun. Come on, Clark. Let's go make certain your dad isn't making himself sick off of corn dogs."  
  
Sinjun and I watched silently as they walked off, then I looked down at her and she looked up at me and grinned.  
  
"Did I do good saving you like that?"  
  
I smiled. "Yes. Although I could have had fun ruining your uncle's day."  
  
She punched me lightly in the arm. "Be nice. Come on, let's get a spot in the field before all of the good places are taken."  
  
Sinjun led me through the throngs of people enjoying the games and rides, until we finally reached a small path that led through the trees toward another field that was still a part of the Plant property. If possible the day was becoming even more humid and as I glanced up at the sky, I noticed gathering storm clouds in the distance. I hoped for my employees' sakes that nothing happened to deter from the fireworks display planned for the evening. When Sinjun had come to me with her ideas for it, I had simply told her to spare no expense, to pay whatever it took to make her vision come to life. There were many great advantages about having inexhaustible funds at your disposal – seeing Sinjun's eyes light up the way they had that day was one of them. With that thought, I turned to look at her, only to stop in confusion when I realized she was no longer beside me.  
  
"Sinjun?" I called out.  
  
"Up here."  
  
I looked ahead to an enormous old oak a few feet in front of me, on which Sinjun was currently scrambling up the trunk. I watched silently, uncertain of what to say as she continued to climb higher and higher above me into the branches. Swallowing nervously, certain that at any moment she would come tumbling through the leaves, I said, "Come down from there, Sinjun. Now."  
  
She peered down at me. "Does this make you nervous?"  
  
"As a matter of fact," I replied with a frown.  
  
"You mean you wouldn't climb up here and save me if I got stuck?"  
  
"Hardly," I muttered, glancing away to see if anyone were nearby to help in case she fell.  
  
"It's just a tree, Lex. Certainly you climbed plenty of them as a child."  
  
I turned to reply to that when her face suddenly appeared in front of me and upside down, causing me to jump and her to laugh. For a moment, it disoriented me, reminding me of the incident a few months back when Amanda's brother had sought revenge for his sister, and strung me upside down in a straight jacket in the now shut down Club Zero. She was hanging from one of the fatter branches, her knees hooked around it. It would have been a good six foot drop right onto her head. I tried not to worry about her safety, focusing instead on her last comment.  
  
"Actually, no."  
  
"No?" Her upside down frown looked like a smile from the Cheshire cat. It was more than slightly unnerving. "You've never climbed a tree?"  
  
"Luthors don't – "  
  
"Climb trees," she finished with me, rolling her eyes, though from the angle it was down instead of heavenward. "Do Luthors do anything except count their money?"  
  
"Yes, we make more of it," I bit back in exasperation. "You know it isn't the life goal of every child alive to climb a tree. Now please get down."  
  
"It isn't?" Sinjun reached up and grabbed the branch then flipped backwards to the ground to land on her feet before me. She brushed her hands off on her shorts. "You are seriously lacking in your education, Lex Luthor."  
  
I made a face at that. "And I suppose you plan on educating me?"  
  
Sinjun nodded, looping her arm through mine and leading us on once more. "Yes. We'll begin with Tree Climbing 101, How to Properly Enjoy a Carnival, and When It's Okay to Dress Down."  
  
"I have an image to maintain, you know," I told her, thinking there was nothing wrong with what I was wearing and suddenly feeling self-conscious at the same moment.  
  
"Which is why for now we'll keep you in private courses until you advance up to the level of the other students," she teased.  
  
I glanced over at her. "Exactly how many others students are you privately teaching?"  
  
She punched me in the arm.  
  
A few minutes later, we stopped at a clearing that Sinjun deemed as perfect for picnicking and the fireworks display. She shooed me to the side while she carefully laid out the blanket then began digging through the basket while I sat down across from her. I prepared myself for a meal of burned fried chicken and greasy biscuits but soon found my eyes widening in pleasant surprise as Sinjun began filling two plates with much more familiar and welcomed food. Crab canapés, olive tapenade on sourdough, baked parmesan oysters, roasted garlic goat cheese and crackers, tomato fusilli salad, and a bottle of port wine. I looked up to find her smiling at me.  
  
"As great of a cook as Martha is," I commented. "I just don't see this food being served in the Kent household."  
  
Sinjun laughed. "No. My mother taught me to cook. And since dad was always entertaining important scientists and researchers, she learned out of necessity to prepare things other than biscuits and gravy or dumplings, both of which have their proper place at the dinner table, but not for sophisticates from Gotham or Metropolis or wherever."  
  
I shook my head with a smile, wondering if this woman would ever stop surprising me.  
  
"Not bad for a little farm girl from Kansas, hmm?"  
  
Recalling my words to her before the dunk tank, I felt a guilty flush spill over me. "Sinjun, about that – " I began.  
  
"It's okay," she interrupted, handing me a plate assorted with the different snacks. "If you can't flip out on a friend, who can you flip out on?"  
  
She was trying to make a joke of it, make me forget it had happened, and I was more than willing to let her do so, but that didn't mean that I would forget. Setting the plate beside me, I grabbed the wine and corkscrew and opened the bottle, pouring each of us a glass in the plastic goblets she had brought. I went to set the bottle back down then glanced at it, frowning.  
  
"Where'd you get this?"  
  
Sinjun grinned. "Brandon got it out of your cellar for me."  
  
I laughed, shaking my head. "I'm going to have to have a little talk with him."  
  
"You don't mind, do you?"  
  
"Well, since I am the one drinking it," I acknowledged, shrugging my shoulders.  
  
"See? I told him you'd be reasonable about it."  
  
I almost choked on the sip that I had taken.  
  
"Eat your food," she told me.  
  
I grinned. "I would but I am still pondering your cousin's warning regarding a stomach pump."  
  
Flashing me a nasty look, Sinjun reached to snatch my plate from me, but I moved out of her reach, laughing at her indignant expression.  
  
"I'm teasing, Sinj," I told her.  
  
"I know," she replied. "And it's unnerving."  
  
I laughed again, and we fell into a companionable silence, eating our food and sipping the wine. Sinjun soon stretched out on her stomach, her legs up behind her, feet kicking in the air absently. Sometimes she seemed like such a child, and at others she was wiser than many. She was such a contradiction, a mystery I found myself wanting to solve. Again and again I worked to destroy this friendship or whatever it was that was growing between us, and again and again I found myself wanting to mend those burned bridges, asking for her forgiveness, pulling her back. It made me feel weak. It made me feel strong. I didn't know what to think anymore.  
  
"Lex?"  
  
Her voice pulled me from my thoughts. "Hmmm?"  
  
She had rolled to her side, holding her head up on her hand, regarding me thoughtfully. "I want to know about you and your father. I want to know what happened between you two. I know you probably think I'm prying but… " Sinjun trailed off, sighing, worrying her lower lip in thought before continuing, "We're friends, right?"  
  
I smiled slightly. "Yes. We are."  
  
"So, as your friend, I would like you to be able to feel like you can talk to me, that you can tell me anything. That you can trust me."  
  
I looked down at my empty plate. "I don't trust easily, Sinjun."  
  
"Okay. Then we'll start small. You try to give me the best possible reply that you can, without feeling as if I am invading your privacy completely, and a few weeks from now, we can see if I have earned your trust."  
  
She made it sound so easy, though I knew it wasn't. To trust someone meant opening yourself up to hurt, exposing yourself, making you vulnerable to attack. Physical attack was easily avoided or mended, emotional attack could ruin someone. In all my life, I had only really trusted one person – my mother. For awhile, I had felt the same about Clark. But through the past few months, I have realized that he is keeping secrets from me. Everyone has their secrets, and I am certainly not innocent in that regard, but he lied to me, I know it, directly to my face. I don't know what about, and I don't know why he felt the need to, I just know it happened. There is nothing I can do about it and so I go on. But the trust was damaged. And now Sinjun is asking for that very same trust.  
  
And the worst of it was, I found myself wanting to give it to her.  
  
"It's really been the past twelve years that things have been like this between us," I began slowly, wondering if I was making a mistake by saying anything, unable to stop myself from doing so. "Ever since the meteor shower… when I lost my hair." I paused, staring off at the copse of trees across from us. "We'd never been close. My father isn't like that. It's not like we ever tossed a ball in the backyard or attended the father/son trips in school. He was always off on business somewhere and on holidays I would receive a gift from him to make up for his absence… Mom would give me a quick hug and say something like You know you're father or something like that, and it would be forgotten.  
  
"After the meteor shower though… " I shook my head, not wanting to continue. I was doing little more than opening old wounds that I had learned the hard way to keep closed. This was none of her business and yet… "It was like he couldn't even look at me. I was no longer his son, just some freak he was now stuck with and didn't know what to do with."  
  
"I doubt your father thought of you as a freak, Lex," Sinjun denied, her expression clearly showing that she didn't think it was possible for any parent to regard their child in such a manner.  
  
God she was naïve. "No? Trust me, Sinj, I heard it from his mouth more than a few times," I told her, ignoring her gasp of shock. I didn't want her pity, couldn't stand that from her or anyone else. I thought about leaving. Then realized I would only be running away, and I was the one who had started talking. There was no way out of this but to continue.  
  
"I spent those first two years, between the ages of nine and eleven, in and out of every hospital, clinic, and lab the world had to offer. I had become my father's very own guinea pig, his experiment to see if he could turn a freak into a normal child again. They poked, prodded and covered me in every ointment ever conceived of. Nothing worked. My hair wouldn't grow back, the follicles were dead, my asthma was gone with no explanation. On the inside I was a healthy eleven year old boy with a slightly elevated white blood cell count. On the outside, I was some freakish child not worthy of being called a Luthor.  
  
"Then, when I was eleven, my mother got pregnant. It was a total surprise. I've never seen my father so happy. At last he had a chance to have a son he could actually love. Not some freak. But one morning, my mother found Julian dead in his cradle. After that, dad stayed away. He came home long enough to attend my mother's funeral, where he stood silently beside me, speaking not a word, then getting in the limo and returning to the airport. He sent me off to boarding schools, where I was teased until I was forced to strike back, then sent home only to be shipped off to another one. During breaks, I spent holidays with the staff at the house where I would receive my cursory gift from him, signed To Lex, From Your Father.  
  
"At first it hurt like hell. I was just a kid, Luthor or no. I didn't understand why my father didn't want to be with me. Then I began to realize as the other students and teachers at the schools reacted so badly to my appearance that he was just like they were. He saw the same thing they did. So I learned to shut it out, to treat him as differentially as he did me. Sure, like any teenager, I began reacting out against him, which he referred to as 'bids for attention'. Maybe that's what they were. Maybe they still are. Somewhere in my mind I probably came to the conclusion that the only way to get my father to notice me was to force him to do it. It's rarely worked though. Usually he hires someone else to deal with the 'problem'. Only when I interfere in something that has to do with his empire does he really stand up and take notice. And then he makes me pay for it."  
  
I stopped. I couldn't believe I had just said so much. I had never told anyone that much about my father and I, and I found myself feeling embarrassed, angry… and just a little better, like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I steeled myself for Sinjun's pity though. To hear her say Oh I'm so sorry, Lex, or What a horrible way to grow up or something equally humiliating. When no words were forthcoming, I looked over to her, only to find her stretched out on her back, her head pillowed on her arm, staring up at the sky above. She looked as if she hadn't heard a word I had said. On the one hand, I was relieved. On the other, I was angry that I had poured out so much only for her to ignore it.  
  
Sighing, I snapped, "Sinjun – "  
  
"Look! There's a bunny!"  
  
I frowned, glancing out to the field, seeing nothing more than other picnickers, certainly no rabbits. "I don't see – "  
  
"Up there."  
  
I looked over to find her pointing up to the sky. Great, she's lost her mind.  
  
"Don't you see it?" She asked, still not looking at me. "That cloud right there, just overhead. There are the ears and a little fluffy tail to the side."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "I see a cloud, Sinjun."  
  
"C'mere." Sinjun patted the blanket beside her, indicating that I should lay down next to her.  
  
I fought the urge to do so for about five seconds before finally moving over beside her and stretching out so that we laid side by side, staring at the clouded skies above. I stared hard at the cloud she indicated but still saw nothing more than a storm cloud that was likely to open up and drench us at any moment. I was still slightly stung that she had ignored everything I had just told her. It made me feel like a selfish brat, wanting her to pay attention to my problems like that, and I realized why I had always kept them buried. It was best to keep your hurt to yourself, because no one but you was going to care anyways.  
  
"When I was little and got really upset or angry about something," Sinjun began softly. "My father would take me out into the pasture, and we would lay back together and pick out shapes in the clouds. He said that whenever I was feeling alone in this world, all I needed to do was look up and find my friends and know that there was always someone near. Of course, sometimes when I was really angry, my friends would consist of dragons and monsters and demons who were biting off the heads of those who had hurt me," she laughed. "But usually there was always a bunny or a kitty or the occasional elephant to keep me company."  
  
"What did you do on clear days?" I questioned blandly.  
  
She turned her head to watch me. I kept from meeting her gaze. "Lex, no one can be unhappy on a clear day. There's some law against it or something."  
  
I would have loved to believe she was right.  
  
"Certainly you see something up there in the clouds," Sinjun softly encouraged.  
  
An oncoming thunderstorm. There were some streaks left by passing jets. A hawk circling slowly above us. I wanted to leave. Then Sinjun quietly slipped her hand into my mine, lacing our fingers together, her thumb gently stroking over my own, and it hit me that she had been listening. She had heard every word I said and had refrained from diminishing it by offering her sympathy or advice. Instead, she had given me a part of her life, a small yet significant part that she always carried around with her, especially now that her father was gone. I found myself concentrating more fully on the clouds above, wanting to give her something in return, wanting to let her know that I understood what she was trying to tell me. I narrowed my eyes, strained my imagination (actually I didn't even know if I still had one of those), tried very, very hard to see something, anything. Beside me, Sinjun remained silent. It was minutes before I realized I just didn't have a talent for this.  
  
"There. I see a," I thought quickly for something in my mind, "A dog."  
  
Sinjun snickered, then laughed outright. "Liar!" She accused. "You don't see a damn thing and you know it."  
  
Well, she caught me on that. I leaned up on my elbow, turning toward her, only to find that she was looking over at me, smiling. A cloud passed over the sun, casting shadows across her face. It made me think of my influence, of what would likely become of her should I ever allow anything to happen between us. A brief chill passed through me at the comparison. I was like a shadow, casting darkness over the brightness of her life, of any life I came into contact with. Someday I would be just like my father, obliterating anything good and beautiful within my reach. It scared the hell out of me. I felt Sinjun's hand tighten around me, as if she could read my thoughts. I forced the morbid thoughts away, knowing that if nothing more came of this, I at least wanted to remember the moment fondly.  
  
She was still watching me. I could count the light freckles that were dusted across the bridge of her nose. The cloud passed away and her green eyes lightened once more against the sun. There was a stain of wine on her lips, and I wondered what else I would taste there, I wondered what she would taste like. Her distinctive aroma of honeysuckle and apples wafted over me, drawing me in. My gaze trailed over her, from her white peasant blouse that bared her pale, slightly rounded abdomen to the denim shorts that were frayed along the edges, showing tan, smooth and muscular thighs and calves. When I returned my gaze to Sinjun's, her eyes had darkened with a look I had come to recognize. Warning sirens went off in my head. Her lips parted slightly, I saw her pink tongue dart out to lick them and I found myself leaning forward, drawn inexplicably nearer. My hand moved, of its own volition, away from hers to splay across the bared expanse of her stomach. Her skin was soft, naturally warm, I felt her muscles contract beneath my touch. We were so close now that I could smell the wine that scented her mouth as her breath fanned across my lips. Mere centimeters now, I could see the erratic beat of her pulse against her throat, hear my own heart thudding against my chest. In fear, excitement, need. Her eyes fluttered closed. I swallowed, tightened my hand over her stomach, knew I was about to fall over the edge of the precipice I had been teetering on for so long.  
  
Thunder cracked loudly overhead. We both jumped, I pulled back. Sinjun's eyes had fluttered open. She looked in panic at the sky then over at me. I climbed to my feet. I knew what had almost happened, what I had almost allowed to happen. And I had wanted it so badly I hadn't cared about the consequences. Pure selfishness had almost led me down the path of Sinjun's destruction. I couldn't – wouldn't – allow that to happen. Not ever again.  
  
"I need to get back home," I told her quickly, not meeting her gaze, not wanting to see the pain I knew I was inflicting. "I… I've spent too much time here. I've got work to do. Enjoy the fireworks."  
  
I walked away, didn't look back. I scowled at every employee I passed, attempting to put my mask back in place, become the person they expected, the one that could ignore Sinjun and her sweet advances, her patience. And yet, I was the one who kept screwing up, who kept pushing her away and then allowing her back in. If I was lucky, she would hate me now, give up on me, let this all die away. Unfortunately, I didn't want that. Deep inside, I wanted to stop fighting, and I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if the clouds above us had not issued their warning.  
  
****  
  
A few hours later I sat in the library, my fourth scotch in hand, listening to the fireworks that were lighting up the night sky from across town and the music that was playing low in the background of the room. A few months ago, Clark had brought a CD by Creed over, saying he thought I would like it. There was one track in particular, the title track called "My Own Prison" that I had quickly grown attached to. In my more maudlin moments, such as now, I put it on repeat. Usually, it did little more than serve to drown me ever deeper in my dark thoughts.  
  
My father had banished me away to Smallville but the truth was, I have always been the one creating my own exile. Developed by years of non- acceptance from my peers, a lack of anything but derision from my father, the loss of my mother, I had quickly come to realize that it was easier to remain safely hidden behind steel-enforced walls within my own domain rather than take the chance of suffering more pain. I wasn't blind to that fact. I used to hate myself for doing it, and now I simply accepted it. It was easier to be hated and feared than it was to be pitied and ridiculed. I think that was what my father had been trying to teach me all along, but I still stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. At least to him.  
  
Maybe there was a part of me that still hoped for a miracle.  
  
"A court is in session, a verdict is in  
  
No appeal on the docket today  
  
Just my own sin  
  
The walls are cold and pale  
  
The cage made of steel  
  
Screams fill the room  
  
Alone I drop and kneel  
  
Silence now the sound  
  
My breath the only motion around  
  
Demons cluttering around  
  
My face showing no emotion  
  
Shackled by my sentence  
  
Expecting no return  
  
Here there is no penance  
  
My skin begins to burn"  
  
So wrapped up was I in my thoughts and dreams and fears that I never heard Sinjun's entrance until I felt her presence in the room. Looking up, I saw her standing there at the doorway, watching me while her hands clenched and unclenched into fists at her side. I had hoped that Sinjun would have had sense enough to stay away, that she would have given us both some time to forget, to let it pass. But here she was, forcing us to face up to that 'almost' moment on the field a few hours before. It made me so angry I felt like throwing my glass at her. I didn't want this, not now. I couldn't deal with it.  
  
"Shouldn't you be watching the fireworks with your family or something," I practically sneered, rising to my feet to pour myself another glass before I did throw it at her.  
  
Silence. Then, "Why do you keep doing this, Lex?"  
  
I poured the scotch, gathering my thoughts. I hadn't expected her to be so direct. I didn't know what to think. I called her bluff. "Doing what?"  
  
"Giving and taking all at the same moment, holding out your hand and snatching it back away. Behaving as if you want something and then pretending it never happened. I don't understand it."  
  
Taking a deep breath, I turned and leaned back against the bar, crossing my ankles, watching her with the most disinterested expression I could muster. "You're imagination is on overload, Sinjun. There is nothing like that going on."  
  
"So I held my head up high  
  
Hiding hate that burns inside  
  
Which only fuels their selfish pride  
  
We're all held captive  
  
Out from the sun  
  
A sun that shines on only some  
  
We the meek are all in one  
  
I hear a thunder in the distance  
  
See a vision of a cross  
  
I feel the pain that was given  
  
On that sad day of loss"  
  
"You were going to kiss me today."  
  
I shrugged. "I kiss lots of women, Sinjun. You were tempting. Then I changed my mind and realized you weren't as tempting as I had at first thought."  
  
Sinjun shook her head. "Stop it, Lex."  
  
I frowned, looked away, finished my scotch. I didn't know what she wanted from me. No. Wait. I did. But I knew I couldn't give it to her. Drinking in the anger I felt at this impossible situation, I slammed the glass down on the bar and stepped forward.  
  
"What the hell do you want to hear, Sinjun?" I demanded. "Love poems and declarations of forever and sweet-nothings in your ear? Well, you aren't going to hear them, not from me. That's not what I'm about. Do you want me to admit I'm attracted to you? Fine. I am. Does that make you happy? I hope so because that's all you're going to get, Sinjun. Do you understand? That is all you get from me. Nothing more. Go back home where you belong. Have your aunt tuck you into bed and read you a fairy tale about happy endings because this is real life we're talking about here, and nothing like that is going to happen between us!"  
  
Sinjun didn't move. "Why?" She asked.  
  
I looked away. I wasn't about to open those flood gates. I needed to think of something to say to hurt her, to send her running away from me. To make her realize the kind of demon I was. But she didn't give me that chance. She was suddenly standing directly in front of me, that piercing gaze of hers looking right through me, through the walls and the mask, and I knew in that instant she saw everything I was holding back. I wasn't about to let her win though. I would fight it. This was for her, after all. Sinjun didn't understand. She couldn't understand. She was too sweet, too naïve, too innocent. I would destroy her. I had seen it.  
  
"You think I'm too naïve to know you," she softly accused as if reading my thoughts. "You probably think I've placed you on some sort of pedestal, and you fear you're going to fall off of it."  
  
I frowned. "Well, haven't you?" I took the chance of meeting her gaze. I couldn't look away.  
  
Sinjun shook her head. "You think I have some glorified perception of who you are. But you're wrong."  
  
"Is that so?" I didn't believe her. "Who am I then?"  
  
"You're an arrogant, spoilt, and greedy child. You're angry at the world around you for the injustices you faced growing up, and you both hate and love your father. You want nothing more from him than his acknowledgement that you're his son, and if it takes becoming like him to get that, then you'll do so, even if you don't want to. A part of you wants to crush him for all he's done to you and not done for you, but a deeper part just wishes that he would be proud of you, just once." She paused, her eyes scanning my face, which I kept carefully neutral. "The anger and pain you harbor have been pushed to the forefront as a defense against the world around you. You would rather have people hate you than take the chance of ever letting them close enough to hurt you. That gives you license to manipulate peoples lives as you see fit, all the while telling yourself it's okay because they would have tried to do it to you anyway if you hadn't gotten there first."  
  
"A lion roars in the darkness  
  
Only he holds the key  
  
A light to free me from my burden  
  
And grant me life eternally  
  
Should have been dead  
  
On a Sunday morning  
  
Banging my head  
  
No time for mourning  
  
Ain't got no time"  
  
"And I suppose you want to fix all of that?" I replied darkly, not wanting her to know how dead-on she had been in her estimation of me. "You think you can make me a better man."  
  
"No."  
  
I blinked. "What?"  
  
There was the softest hint of a smile on her lips. She stepped closer and looked up at me. "Lex, I'm drawn to who you are, not who I want you to be. Your drive and ambition are what make you, no matter the reasons for them. You're strong, and someday you're going to conquer the world. I can see it. It's in you to do so, just because your father has always told you that you can't."  
  
I shook my head, refusing to acknowledge what she was saying. Besides, her words were ugly. I was ugly. I knew it. And my shadow was creeping over her.  
  
"You want to be there to save me from myself," I accused.  
  
Sinjun shook her head, took another step. We were almost touching.  
  
"I want to be there to see your greatness," she whispered and a shudder echoed through me at her words.  
  
She laid her hands over my chest, pressed herself closer. My body reacted instantly. There was no denying how much I wanted her. My hold was loosening. I had climbed back onto the precipice, but I was teetering once more. I had to get her to understand, to make her see that this could never happen. I wasn't my father yet. I could save myself and her.  
  
"You don't understand," I told her, angry at her, angry at myself. I shoved my hands into my pockets, tried to rock back from her touch, but she stayed close, the warmth of her hands marking me. I ached with want. Need. "I'll only hurt you. You deserve… something different. Someone who isn't going to destroy that light inside of you, Sinjun. Someone who isn't going to – "  
  
"Corrupt me?" She asked.  
  
I nodded. Her hand reached up around my neck, fingers stroking behind my ear. Her touch was intoxicating. I hadn't expected this approach from her, she wasn't letting up, wasn't backing down.  
  
Sinjun leaned up, her warm breath brushing across my cheek as she whispered into my ear, "But what if I want you to corrupt me?"  
  
"So I held my head up high  
  
Hiding hate that burns inside  
  
Which only fuels their selfish pride  
  
We're all held captive  
  
Out from the sun  
  
A sun that shines on only some  
  
We the meek are all in one  
  
I cry out to God  
  
Seeking only his decision  
  
Gabriel stands and confirms  
  
I've created my own prison"  
  
I closed my eyes, heard strings snapping in my mind, releasing the last threads of control I had. And then her lips were pressing against mine, her hand on my neck, pulling me down to her, insisting. My mind blanked for a brief moment, and then I realized I had one last chance to end this by playing her innocence against her. Pulling my hands from my pockets, I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her hard against me, my mouth crushing hers, ravishing it cruelly. I buried one hand in her hair, tangling my fingers in the strands, pulling hard, bending over her as I did so, using my tongue to push past her lips, drinking in everything she had so foolishly offered, taking it without remorse. I became lost in the taste of her, the feel of her body pressing against mine. I was so engrossed in the feeling of finally having her as I had so often dreamed that it took a moment for me to realize she wasn't struggling against me as I had hoped. If anything, her hands were gripping the collar of my shirt as if she could not let go, and instead of protesting, I felt her sigh against my mouth.  
  
I teetered and fell into the abyss.  
  
Gentling my touch, I leaned up once more, holding her to me, my arms wrapping around her, enfolding her, imprisoning her. Sinjun's tongue stroked across my lower lip, and I trembled, pressing kisses at the side of her mouth, moving over her cheek, her jaw line, down her neck. Her fingers danced over my head, at once caressing and pulling me to her. I lost all sense of right and wrong. All I knew was that this was what I wanted, what I needed -- Sinjun, here in my arms.  
  
I finally pulled back, knowing that if I didn't I would throw her to the floor and take her there in the library. Looking at her, standing before me, I found myself wondering why I had never considered her beautiful. She was at that moment. Her cheeks flushed, her lips dark and swollen from my kisses, her eyes glazed with passion and desire. Thankfully, I was still in control of my faculties enough to know that this had to remain her decision. I knew I had the power to control her, to sweep her off her feet and make her believe it was her choice to be with me. But I wasn't going to do that. Dropping my arms, I stepped away from her, walked past her, over to the doorway. I turned back and she was watching me, her gaze haunted. I realized then that she thought I was rejecting her once more. God, if only I could! If only I was strong enough to walk away just one more time, I knew that would be it. But this brief taste had not been enough. I was addicted to Sinjun. I was addicted to what she was offering to me. I couldn't walk away.  
  
I held my hand out to her. "This has to be your decision, Sinjun," I told her quietly, realizing my own voice sounded strange to me, heavy with desire. Heavy with emotions I usually kept at bay. "There is still the chance to walk away. Once we start down this path, there is no turning back. Nothing will be the same, Sinjun."  
  
She moved toward me, her eyes searching mine. "Does that scare you?"  
  
"A little," I admitted. I didn't want to lose her. I didn't want her to learn how to hate me and yet, it was inevitable that such a thing would happen.  
  
"As long as we continue to admit our fears to each other, everything should be okay," Sinjun told me, slipping her hand into mine.  
  
"What do you fear?" I asked, wanting to know. Needing to know.  
  
"You," she answered softly. "And me. You pushing me away. And never knowing this feeling again that I have when I'm with you. This wonderful, terrible feeling that both frightens me and draws me in at the same moment."  
  
I knew what she spoke of. I pulled her to me again, brushed my lips across hers, then stepped back and pulled her with me, up the stairs, down the hall to my room. I wasn't going to push her away. Not this time. I hoped she realized that, I hoped she knew that she would have to be the one to walk away this time. I couldn't say no anymore, I couldn't deny myself or her. I should have. Maybe I lacked the strength. Maybe I was as weak as my father always said. I allowed my emotions to rule me. And this time I didn't care. I wouldn't care. Not now, not tonight. Not when her hand was so trusting and warm within my own. Not when she followed me so willingly. Not when my desire for her currently rivaled anything I had previously felt in my life.  
  
When we entered my room and I closed the door behind us, Sinjun became suddenly shy and fidgety, once more her old self. Seeing it made me ask myself what I was doing, made me realize I should stop this here and now. It was too late for that though. I had told her there was no going back and for me there wasn't. Samantha had been right. Normally I took what I wanted, and this time I planned on doing exactly that.  
  
"Come here," I told her softly, my eyes never leaving her as Sinjun turned toward me and shyly stepped forward.  
  
I took her by the arms and pulled her back against me, my mouth capturing hers, and I allowed myself to become lost again in her warmth and honeyed taste. I felt her arms wrap around my shoulders, her hand at the back of my head, stroking, pulling me toward her. I silently reminded myself to go slow. I owed her that much. But as I moved my hands over her, touching her, and she whimpered softly against my mouth, I could barely cling to reason. I tugged at her blouse, almost tore it in my haste, all the while placing kisses along her neck and shoulders while I tossed the garment to the floor. My hands devoured her skin, I couldn't seem to stop stroking her. I brushed my fingers across her right breast, teasing the nipple through the fabric until it hardened into a tight bud beneath my touch. She moaned in the back of her throat and leaned into my hand, all trepidation seeming to have vanished.  
  
Her fingers were working against the buttons of my shirt and then her hands were against my chest, her fingertips teasing. I dragged my hands away from her long enough to tug my shirt off over my head and then pull her back to me. My fingers worked deftly at the hooks on her bra, releasing them, tossing it away, and then we were skin against skin. I moved her back against the bed, gently pushed her on to it, running my hands down her shoulders, over her breasts, leaning over to capture a nipple between my lips, tenderly suckling. Sinjun gasped, arching up to me, her hands clenching around my shoulders, while I stroked her other breast. I continued to lavish attention on the twin orbs until the woman beneath me was writhing and whispering my name, begging me for something more. I kissed her lips again, quieting her, my hands moving over her shorts, pushing them down her hips while I tugged her sandals off with my foot.  
  
Moving my mouth to her neck, I bit her softly, licked the spot then traced her collarbone with my tongue. My hand drifted over her hip, down her thigh, back up her inner thigh to the juncture between, where it sought out her wet warmth and the already swollen nub. Sinjun jumped at the contact, and I held my hand still, allowing her to become accustomed to the intimacy, all the while continuing to kiss her, whispering softly to her to relax. Soon I felt her move into my hand instinctively, and I began stroking her once more, circling the nub with my thumb, smiling against her throat at the tiny whimpers of pleasure that were issuing forth. I couldn't remember the last time I had been with someone who had offered such an honest reaction. With Victoria it had always been about performance, with Samantha it had always been about domination, with so many others it had been about what they could get out of it. I didn't want to dwell on that. Though I tried to believe that Sinjun truly wanted to be with me, and only me, I couldn't help but remind myself that everyone wanted something.  
  
"Lex… " Sinjun whispered, her hands running down my neck, pulling me to her.  
  
I smiled, kissed her lips. "Does that feel good?"  
  
She nodded, bit her lower lip, turned her head in an attempt to bury it into the mattress.  
  
"Look at me," I instructed her, leaning over to kiss the side of her mouth.  
  
Sinjun opened her eyes, looked up at me, nervousness and a hint of embarrassment flooding her features. In response, I slid a finger into her tight opening, and she closed her eyes again, moaned low in her throat, moved against me. I leaned back down, kissed her breast, laved a nipple with my tongue, while I continued to stroke her, slipped in another finger. Her nails were digging into my shoulders, holding me there. She was all passion and honesty, and I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty, knowing I was taking advantage of her, knowing that this couldn't last. There would never be anything between us but this one night. It was impossible. We were impossible.  
  
"Lex!" She whimpered, drawing my attention to her. She was arching against me, pulling, pushing, near the edge.  
  
I kissed her chin, her lips. "It's okay, Sinj. Let it happen. Come for me, lover," I whispered against her mouth. "Come for me."  
  
I felt her muscles contract around my fingers. I pushed up on my elbow, watching her, losing myself in the way she arched off the mattress as her climax exploded over her, her skin flushed, dewy with perspiration. I kissed her again as she trembled beneath me, her hands tentatively stroking my chest, the back of my neck. She cried out when I pulled away from her, but I was too impatient to explain or assure her. I needed her now, at that moment, I wanted to be buried inside of her and to hell with the consequences and the if's and maybe's and what would happen next. Tomorrow I would be the bad guy. Tonight, I simply wanted to be a part of Sinjun's life.  
  
I returned to her when I had divested the rest of my clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor below us. She had watched me quietly, her eyes hooded with desire, reaching out to touch me when I came back to her. Sinjun pushed me down into the mattress, rolling over the top of me, her hands and eyes exploring me in the soft light. She seemed freer suddenly, less shy, curiosity of me winning out over any intimidation she might have felt. Her hands ran over my chest, down to my stomach where she pressed her lips softly, then she took me into her hands, gently stroking, touching, holding until I thought I would go mad from aching for her. Grabbing her around the waist, I pulled her back up to me where she kissed my mouth, smiled against my lips.  
  
"You never told me you were a redhead," she accused.  
  
I laughed against her mouth. I couldn't remember the last time that I had actually done that while in bed with a woman. Flipping us over so that I was back on top, I replied, "You never asked."  
  
"Good thing I like redheads almost as much as I like bald men," Sinjun teased, laughing until I bit her lip.  
  
I kissed Sinjun until she was breathless and writhing beneath me once more. I wasn't going to last much longer, but I knew I had to make this right for her. I wanted her to remember this experience fondly; she could hate me later. I reached between us, certain that she was ready for me before positioning myself at her entrance. Slowly I pushed into her, stopping just at the untouched barrier, watching her face as her eyes widened slightly at the unfamiliar feeling. Holding her eyes, I withdrew a bit then pushed forcefully forward, leaning forward to catch her cry at my intrusion with my mouth. My heart slamming into my chest, the aching so bad within me that I was certain I would explode at any moment, still I remained unmoving, allowing her to adjust to me while I brushed her lips with mine.  
  
"Are you all right?" I asked after a moment.  
  
"Mmm," came her reply. Then, "Lex?"  
  
"Yes, Sinjun?'  
  
"Don't stop."  
  
I smiled at that, withdrawing just a bit to push within her again, gasping in pleasure as I felt her envelope me, her tight sheath closing around me, pulling me deeper inside as her legs wrapped around me. And then I was plunging into her and she was arching beneath me, crying out my name as we rocked against one another. I felt her nails dig into my back and shoulders, heard her calling out my name, begging me to take her over the edge, and already I began to feel my body tensing, the blood pounding throughout, my senses reeling. I moved my hand to stroke Sinjun once more, driving her with me toward the brink, pushing her over the edge. She bucked and cried out my name suddenly, her muscles contracting around me, sending my climax roaring through me, as I spilled myself inside of her, our bodies shaking against each other with the force of it. My mind reeled from the sensation, and I bit my lip to keep from speaking words that had no place being spoken here.  
  
I fell against her, shuddering still, clenching her to me, knowing instinctively that something had happened just then, something that never had before but refusing to acknowledge that it had been special, that this had been special. Why dwell on what cannot be? Our hearts were beating in time to one another, and it was a strangely soothing sound as I continued to lay against her, still buried within her, not inclined to pull away yet. Was that safety I felt? Did I actually feel wanted? The thought terrified me. This was supposed to just be sex. I wasn't supposed to be thinking these thoughts right now, feeling these emotions. It had been good sex. Nothing more.  
  
Rolling away from Sinjun, I laid back against my pillow, closed my eyes, sought sleep. That's what was supposed to happen. It didn't matter that I wanted to hold her and kiss her and ask her if everything had been all right. I had taken what I wanted; I had given her what she wanted. Wasn't that enough? This was when I should I have kicked her out of bed, told her to go to the guestroom if need be, whatever. She just couldn't stay here, not in my bed, not with me like there was anything between us.  
  
But then Sinjun curled against me, her head against my shoulder, her soft lips pressing against my chest, her hand curling trustingly in mine and for some reason my arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulled her closer. I kissed the top of her head, told her to get some rest, knew that I meant to keep her there. And against my better judgment, I held her while we both slept.  
  
***  
  
Two hours later when I awoke, I panicked. I had quickly crawled out of bed, dressed and escaped to the sanctity of the library where I remained silently staring at nothing while outside the thunderstorm rolled in.  
  
Upstairs, Sinjun lay sleeping in my bed. Sinjun St. Claire, cousin to Clark Kent, my closest friend and niece of the man who most likely hated me more than any other person on Earth did. Sinjun, the Director of Public Relations for the Plant. A gentle, honest, and brave young woman who deserved a hell of a lot better than some billionaire taking advantage of her innocence. And yet, it was too late. I had allowed my emotions to take control and acted against my better judgment. Now things would never be the same between us. I knew what I had to do, but I knew it would hurt to do it. Not just Sinjun but myself as well. I would likely lose her friendship. But if I didn't hurt her now, I would end up doing so later, further down the road and maybe she would end up becoming someone she didn't like and maybe she would blame me for it. I knew this had to end before I sucked her into my world.  
  
It was sometime later when I heard her footsteps in the hall. I believed I had prepared myself for this but when I looked up and saw her standing there in the doorway, my emotions resurfaced. Her hair was tousled and her gaze sleepy. She had dressed but still appeared incredibly sensual, like she could be bare and moving beneath me again at a moment's notice. I glanced away from her to my laptop screen for a moment, remembering all that I had told myself, steeling my emotions against the girl/woman who continually seemed to scratch at my defenses. Looking back, I knew my mask was in place, my expression cold. Even Sinjun seemed to notice. She began worrying her lower lip.  
  
"I… The thunder woke me up and I realized you were gone," she told me softly.  
  
I would have held you and protected you from the storm if I could have, Sinj. But it's too late for that.  
  
"I had work to do. Besides, I don't like having to deal with all of that 'after the fact' crap."  
  
"Oh." The sound was small, fearful. I hated myself.  
  
Please forgive me.  
  
"Shouldn't you be getting home?" I reminded her. Coldly I added, "It's late."  
  
For the briefest of moments, I thought she was going to take a step toward me, and if she had done that, I wouldn't have been able to fight. Instead, she blinked and I watched in fascination as this time a mask fell over her features, hiding whatever she had been thinking or feeling at that moment. To me, it was worse than if she had suddenly burst in to tears. Perhaps I was too late. Perhaps the moment I had taken that first step down the path of destruction, there had been no veering from it. Had I already destroyed what drew me to her in the first place?  
  
"You're right. It is late," she replied, raising her chin in the slightest bit of defiance. That little gesture made me feel somewhat better. "Goodnight… Lex."  
  
Don't leave. Turn around. Stay.  
  
She left. I almost called her back.  
  
Almost. 


	8. Part Two - Apathy Chapter Four

PART TWO – Apathy  
  
1.1 CHAPTER FOUR  
  
1.1.1 I want to learn, how you save yourself for someone who, loves you for you  
  
so many times we just give it away to someone who, couldn't even remember your name  
  
could you save yourself for someone who, loves you for you, loves me for me  
  
give it away to someone who will cherish your name  
  
1.1.2  
  
1.1.3 Save Yourself – Sense Field  
  
  
  
I stayed away from the Plant for two days. I remained holed up in the castle, venturing into town only once for some coffee. Luckily, I saw no sign of Sinjun. I know I was being cowardly but I didn't think I could handle a confrontation just yet. I did find myself hoping to run into Clark, just so I could casually ask how Sinjun was doing. I wondered if she had told her family anything, then found myself doubting it. I believed she was the type to keep such things to herself. Then again, it was easy to see the Kent family sitting around the dinner table discussing what a scum bag Lex Luthor was. Pleasant thought, that. No wonder I stayed home.  
  
I almost went to the Kent farm that night I coldly chased Sinjun away. If I had gone, what would I have done? Thrown rocks at her window like some teenage Romeo? And what would I have said? I'm sorry for being such an ass and taking advantage of what you had offered me, can we still be friends? Somewhere in my heart, I knew there were things I had wanted to say, but it was all buried so deeply I doubted that I could ever truly dig it all out. And I didn't even know if I had the strength or will to do so. Some things were better left buried and unnoticed. Too many resurrections brought pain. Pain was an emotion that made you weak.  
  
The worst of it was, I didn't regret what happened. If I had to go back and do it again, I still would have given in to Sinjun's advances. Did that make me an even worse person because I enjoyed being with her? Because I had felt truly wanted and needed at her touch and for a brief span of time had thought that maybe happiness wasn't a fairy tale, that it was possible.  
  
I had to stop dwelling on it.  
  
Going over my calendar that day, I cussed neatly when I noticed the annual LuthorCorp managers cocktail party was the next evening, at the same time as my meeting with the Da Vinci people. Now I knew why my father couldn't do it. I found myself wondering if he hadn't done this on purpose – to keep me away from the gathering for fear of others seeing how well his son had been doing with the management of Plant Number Three. I wouldn't have put it past him. Unfortunately, my father always underestimated me. I would simply send the perfect representative in my place, someone who spent her days making the Smallville Plant look good. Glancing at my watch, I realized it was just before lunch, a perfect time to stop by the office.  
  
I was using that LuthorCorp party as an excuse, I knew. I could have sent her an email, left a voice message, anything other than seeing her face to face. It was due to my morbid curiosity to stop by the office and see how things were between Sinjun and I. It was too soon – I should have stayed away longer. For both our sakes.  
  
When I pulled up out front, I noticed that most of the equipment from the Fourth's activities had been cleared away with only a few carnival trucks remaining. I tried not to think of that day as I jogged up the outside steps to the management offices. I saw Gabe on the way in, stopped to talk to him for a moment, asked how the picnic turned out, and if there was anything that needed my attention at the Plant. He updated me on a few production problems that he seemed to have in hand, and then I asked him if Sinjun was in. Gabe nodded, said she was in the office dealing with some reporter over the phone. I thanked him and headed inside.  
  
Entering my office, I found that Sinjun was indeed on the phone, pacing behind the desk, dressed casually in a summer dress and matching jacket. I found my gaze moving over her appreciatively, enjoying the way she walked, the slight tilt to her head when she obviously didn't like what the person on the other line was saying, her fingers tapping restlessly against the receiver. It all came back to me immediately – the feeling of her in my arms, her soft skin, the sound of her voice calling out my name, her lips pressed against mine. Dammit it all to hell.  
  
"I don't care what your sources are telling you, Mr. Moorly," Sinjun snapped. "I'm telling you that it is utter and complete crap… Yes you can put me on the record saying that, because it's the truth… Well now, they're obviously lying, aren't they? Most likely its some story made up by the competition to make the Plant look bad… Would you like to come out here and run some goddamned tests yourself?!... Well then, if you can't back your own bullshit, you'd best not print it, hmmm?... Tell you what, you give me a name of this supposed employee, and I will look into it myself. In fact, if I find out it's true, I'll write the expose myself!... That's right, because there is no employee making those claims, Mr. Moorly. Trust me. I would have heard about it long before this… Why? Because Smallville is a very little town and rumors such as this spread like wild fire." She laughed suddenly. "Off the record? You can't be serious?... Mmhmmm… I'm curious, Mr. Moorly, what exactly is it you are wanting me to say here?... Well there must be something or you wouldn't be so insistent… I see… Is that so?... Off the record… Fine. How is this for off the record? Go to hell you life-sucking vampire. Have a nice day." She tossed the phone to the desk.  
  
"What the hell was that all about?" I asked, my eyebrows raised.  
  
Sinjun turned to look at me, her face registering no surprise at my presence. No anything really. "Just the press trying to print a false allegation by some made up employee that we have been contaminating the town water supply."  
  
"I take it he had no evidence to back up his statement?"  
  
"None whatsoever."  
  
I smiled. She didn't. In fact, she immediately turned from me and went back to work, sorting through the paperwork before her. I frowned and moved from the doorway over to the desk. Sinjun stood, walked away from the desk over to the filing cabinets. Actions speak louder than words, and hers were practically screaming at me. Not for the first time I began to question my decisions, my motivations, just about everything within me. I couldn't help but think that maybe I was losing something special before I had ever really had the chance to experience it. Of course, those were emotions talking again, and I knew better than to listen to them.  
  
Sinjun said something, snapping me out of my fugue. I frowned. "What was that?"  
  
She glanced over at me and glared. "I said, I'm surprised I still have a job."  
  
I sighed, turning away from her gaze to sit in the chair behind my desk. "You should know better than that," I muttered in return.  
  
"Oh? But everything else has been so very cliché, why not that as well? Powerful, rich boss sleeps with secretary-turned-PR manager, gets the piece of ass he was looking for then gets rid of her before she can cause trouble."  
  
Damn, she was really pissed. I winced, clenching my jaw. "Do you plan on causing trouble?" I asked, looking back up at her.  
  
Sinjun blinked, glancing at the files she had in her hands. "Erm… no."  
  
"Then drop it," I replied, a bit too harshly.  
  
Her head snapped up at that, and she looked like there was something else she wanted to say and I waited, but she finally turned back around and began rummaging through the files. The silence extended between us for the next few minutes, horrible, uncomfortable silence that made me want to hit something. I really needed a drink. I glanced at the wet bar, eyeing the scotch, realized I would have to pass by Sinjun to get to it, and decided to remain where I was. I turned to the computer, opened my email, read a few messages from my father, before getting up the nerve to speak again.  
  
"I need you to attend a party in my place tomorrow night."  
  
Silence. I pushed back from the monitor and watched her, eyeing her body language. Still too easy to read, especially how stiffly she was holding herself, as if she really, really wanted to fidget and was really, really fighting with herself not to do so.  
  
"LuthorCorp holds an annual gathering of the managers and divisions heads," I explained. "Basically it's just a cocktail party where everyone does some bullshit networking, and my father gets up and gives some stupid speech, thanking everyone for their hard work and dedication, spouts out some projections for the year ahead and everyone goes back to getting drunk."  
  
"Sounds like a real, hardcore party," Sinjun commented, shutting the file drawer loudly before turning and leaning back against it, arms folded over her chest as she conversed with me. "Why aren't you going?"  
  
"I have to do something for my father," I told her.  
  
"Why not send Gabe?"  
  
"Because you're in charge of PR."  
  
"Your father doesn't like me – "  
  
"My father doesn't like anyone." I smiled. "It's being held at the museum. You can drive the Aston Martin into Metropolis."  
  
Sinjun shook her head with an angry smile. "It isn't necessary to kiss my ass, Lex. I work for you, remember? I'll do my job as I'm told."  
  
I turned away from her, feeling the sting of her words. I liked it better when she was always trying to make me smile. "I'm not kissing your ass, Sinjun," I replied. "I simply thought you would enjoy driving the Aston Martin. If you want, I can have the limo take you."  
  
"The Aston Martin is fine."  
  
I knew she wouldn't pass that up. At least there were some things she was extremely predictable in. "You can swing by tomorrow afternoon and pick it up."  
  
"How thrilling. Anything else? I have a lunch meeting with the reporter from Fortune that you refuse to speak with. Apparently he is willing to write the article from my views of the Plant and your… management."  
  
Why did that make me the slightest bit worried? Oh yeah. A woman scorned. "Sinjun – "  
  
"Not to worry, Lex," she interrupted, waving her hand in dismissal as she moved to grab her purse. "For some insane reason I still feel this inexplicable loyalty to you that could only have been brought on by being dropped on my head one too many times as a child."  
  
I bit back my smile at her sarcastic humor, so typical of her. At once I felt elation that there was still something there that tied her to me and remorse for forcing her to question its existence. I watched as she moved toward the door, not even affording me one last glance. Did she really think it was that easy?  
  
"Sinjun," I called out.  
  
She stopped. I waited, saying nothing until she turned back to me. I could tell by her eyes that she wanted nothing more in the world at that moment than to get out of there, away from my presence. I wanted her to stay. I was tempted to tell her she couldn't go, that I needed her for something. Problem was, I couldn't think up a plausible lie. It was terribly selfish and cruel of me, but I found myself wondering if she had cried over my treatment of her. Sinjun always projected such a strong front. Was it possible to move her to tears? Or did I naturally attract people who didn't care enough about me to feel sorrow that deeply?  
  
"Thank you." For your loyalty. For speaking to me. For being here.  
  
Sinjun made a face, shook her head, and walked out the door.  
  
****  
  
That evening on my way home I stopped by the Talon to grab some coffee. It was a pleasant surprise to know the place was doing so well and that I had not been misguided in my decision to forego the parking lot and take up Lana on her suggestion to turn it into a coffee house. It was actually beginning to make a profit.  
  
Entering the interior, the latest Top 40 music was playing in the background and teens through adults crowded around the tables. I made my way over to the bar, ordered a cappuccino from a new server I didn't recognize then scanned the rooms, a little surprised when I saw Clark sitting in a booth with Chloe and Pete. Grabbing the beverage, I wandered over to their table, greeting the three teenagers. Clark and Chloe both replied enthusiastically while Pete remained surreptitiously quiet.  
  
"Have a seat," Clark invited, scooting over to make room.  
  
I sat down beside him. "So what trouble are the three of you causing tonight?"  
  
Chloe smirked at me. "Oh, you know us. Out to conquer the world, stuff like that. Oh wait. That's your job."  
  
Sometimes I thought Gabe Sullivan's daughter needed to be taken over her father's knee and taught a little respect for her elders. Other times, I thought she was one of the brighter and more interesting people in Smallville. With my mood tonight, it was the former. "You know, Miss Sullivan, that internship at the Inquisitor is in trouble of going to someone else."  
  
She pouted. Beside me Clark chuckled and across from us Pete scowled at me.  
  
"Well we need to be going," Pete said, jumping up suddenly and tugging on Chloe to follow him out of the booth. "We'll see you tomorrow, Clark."  
  
"Okay. Bye guys."  
  
I turned to Clark after they walked away. "Sorry about that. It's obvious they left because of me."  
  
Clark shrugged and gave me a slight grin. "No problem. I see them at school all day anyway. I've hardly seen you at all lately. That picnic was great, by the way. The fireworks were the coolest."  
  
"Glad to hear that," I replied, taking sip of the hot beverage. I paused for a moment, then asked, "So how's Sinjun?"  
  
"Actually," Clark began, looking sideways at me. "I was going to ask you about that. Did you guys argue or something?"  
  
"No." We hadn't technically argued. There had never been raised voices or anything between us. "Why?"  
  
"I don't know," he said with a shrug. "I tried asking her about you yesterday, and she refused to give me any sort of an answer, like she didn't want to talk about you or something."  
  
I gave a tight smile. "You know me, Clark. Doesn't take long before most people stop wanting to have anything to do with me."  
  
Clark frowned. "That's not true, Lex."  
  
I silently scoffed at his reply, said nothing. I wondered what Sinjun would have to say about me after today's little confrontation. Clark was a smart kid; he would eventually figure out something happened between us if couldn't both work to make things normal between us again. The problem was, things were never really normal between me and Sinjun. From the first, there had been something working to throw us together, to cause me to have faith and trust in her that I would normally never so easily hand to another individual. So where did we go from here? I didn't know if we could go back to being friends. And yet, there was no other choice for me. I didn't want to lose her completely. I couldn't stand the thought of that happening.  
  
Giving and taking at the same moment is what Sinjun had accused me of doing. And she was right. I wanted to know what it would be like to have her at my side, and yet I wasn't willing to open myself up for the vulnerability of such a situation. I wanted her to be there and yet I wasn't willing to ask her to be there. I wanted to hold her, but didn't feel as if I had the right to do so. I wanted to give her my trust but was unwilling to accept the consequences of doing so.  
  
"Lex?"  
  
"Yeah, Clark?"  
  
"Do you… I mean, I don't want to pry into your personal life or anything."  
  
"Clark." I smiled. "We're friends. If anyone has the right to ask personal questions, it's you."  
  
Clark flashed one of his megawatt grins. "Okay. Do you like Sinjun?"  
  
Okay, wasn't prepared for that direct of an approach from him. I purposely misinterpreted his question. "She's a nice girl. Smart. Hard worker."  
  
The teenager beside me rolled his eyes and snorted. "Geez, Lex. That's not what I meant."  
  
I raised an eyebrow at him silently.  
  
"I meant, do you like her? You know, as in dating material."  
  
I chuckled to hide the truth of what I felt at his question. "I don't think your cousin and I are exactly compatible, Clark. We come from two different worlds."  
  
"Wow. That was extremely snobbish of you." Clark frowned.  
  
"No, I didn't mean that," I replied with a sigh of exasperation. "What I meant was, she was raised a lot like you – to trust and accept and see the good in the world and be nice to everybody. Stuff like that. I'm jaded and cynical and not always a nice person, Clark."  
  
"So you think you're not good enough for her."  
  
Sometimes I hated his perception. I refrained from a reply, tapping against my mug as if I were bored with the conversation. But Clark wasn't.  
  
"I think the two of you would make a great couple," Clark insisted enthusiastically. "You certainly worked well together with the Plant stuff, and I know you get along well. And I happen to think my cousin is very pretty."  
  
I couldn't hide my smile at that. "Yes, Clark. Sinjun is… " Beautiful, sensual, alluring, enchanting, breathtaking. "Attractive."  
  
"So why don't you – "  
  
"Clark," I interrupted. "Why are you trying to play matchmaker?"  
  
He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess because you're my friend and she has always been special to me, and I just thought that you two could make each other happy."  
  
I gave him a grateful smile. Where did he develop this faith in me? "Thank you, Clark. Unfortunately, I have yet to succeed at making any one happy. Trust me on this. I would only make Sinjun miserable."  
  
"You're only saying that because the only kind of women you've ever dated are people like Victoria."  
  
"And you're the dating guru?" I asked with a laugh.  
  
Clark had enough sense to look abashed at that. "Look, I'm just saying – "  
  
"Clark, drop it, okay? You're living in a fantasy world if you believe anything could ever happen between me and Sinjun that wouldn't end badly. You're right. She is a special person. And I wouldn't do something like that to her."  
  
"So you do care about her?" Clark insisted with a smile.  
  
I sighed. This was going to be a long evening.  
  
****  
  
I had just finished my fencing practice with Heike the next afternoon when Dominic strolled into the library, a leather case clasped in his hands. He flashed me one of those slimy smiles of his. God I hated this man. My father was bad enough, but this man was actually worse because he was so willing to lick my father's boots. As a child I used to think it would be neat to have someone around who would jump when I told him how high, and who took care of all of my 'dirty' work for me without question. But as I came to know Dominic, I realized I could never respect someone like that, and I would never want someone I couldn't respect that close to me.  
  
"Well," I drawled, tossing my epee to Heike as she left the room. "Looks like the locusts are in town."  
  
Dominic's smile grew. "Always a pleasure as usual, Lex." He moved over to my desk, setting the briefcase on it.  
  
"I take it those are the jewels."  
  
"They are indeed."  
  
I walked over to stand beside him as Dominic unlocked the case and opened it. Inside glittered diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and pearls, displayed in heavy gold, gaudy settings that only a monarch from 16th century England would wear. There was only one piece out of the entire collection that I had truly ever admired – and emerald necklace that looking at now reminded me of Sinjun's eyes. I was tempted to pull it from the case and give it to her. Of course, that would have been completely stupid on my part. I would probably end up with the damn thing shoved up my –  
  
"Your father says he is counting on this exchange to go smoothly," Dominic told me, in a superior tone that I instantly hated. "He trusts you have worked everything out with the contact?"  
  
"You know, if my father is so utterly worried that I'll screw this up, why doesn't he send you to do it?" I asked.  
  
Dominic flashed another smile. "I have more important duties this evening."  
  
"You mean slithering among the employees, listening for dirty little secrets that you can use against them, or who might be a threat to the King's throne," I commented, sobering quickly when I realized I was sending Sinjun into the viper's pit by herself.  
  
"What makes you think I would do such a thing?" Dominic asked innocently. "I will be enjoying myself, the same as everyone else."  
  
"No one enjoys themselves at these parties, Dominic."  
  
"I take it you're talking about the same party you are shipping me off to," Sinjun announced, walking into the room.  
  
Dominic immediately turned an appraising gaze to her that made me want to poke his eyes out with one of the cue sticks. A slow smile spread across his face, and he stepped toward her, holding out his hand in greeting. "You must be Miss St. Claire."  
  
Sinjun stopped, regarding the Englishman before her for a long moment before accepting his greeting.  
  
"This is Dominic the Toady," I told her, folding my arms over my chest as I leaned against the desk. "He works for my father."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," she replied in a fervent voice to the man in front of her.  
  
She said it so quickly and innocently that it took me a moment to realize exactly what she had said. And then I chuckled appreciatively while Dominic frowned at her, snatching his hand back. He was suddenly staring down his nose at her like she was some peculiar bug that deserved little more than to be squashed. I felt an overwhelming wave of protectiveness wash over me at that gaze, knowing that Sinjun had just made herself a very slippery enemy. Too bad the man didn't have a sense of humor.  
  
Sinjun walked past Dominic over to me, effectively dismissing him as someone she would rather not have to deal with. Once more, I found myself reconsidering my decision to have her attend the impending party by herself. Moving beside me, she looked down at the jewels, her eyes widening in admiration.  
  
"Very nice." She looked up at me. "Aren't these part of that collection in the Metropolis museum?"  
  
I nodded. "My mother's family owned them."  
  
"So what are they doing here? You putting on a drag show you didn't tell me about?"  
  
I stared at her for a long moment before replying, "No. This is part of that meeting I have to take care of for my father."  
  
"I don't think Miss St. Claire needs to know anymore about your father's personal business," Dominic warned.  
  
Both Sinjun and I turned to glare at him. Even though I knew he was right, I still felt like telling him I could damn well share any bit of information with Sinjun that I wished. I looked back down at the woman beside me as she continued to regard the jewels, her fingers moving lightly over the emerald necklace. I found myself picturing it nestled against her neck, the main focal – a six carat emerald – laying against her collarbone. I could shower her in jewels, dress her in velvets, and silks and furs, fly her to exotic locales, spoil her beyond belief, make her every dream come true – and she was the first woman I had ever had that urge to do that for. What the hell was wrong with me? What was it about her that evoked those thoughts in my mind? Mentally, I shook my head to clear, turning back to Dominic to find him watching me appraisingly. I glared. He smiled, slowly, knowingly. I could only imagine what he was planning to report to my father regarding me and my PR Director.  
  
"Well," Dominic said. "I must be going. Lex, your father will be expecting a call from you tonight when you are finished. Miss St. Claire, I look forward to seeing you at the party."  
  
He nodded to us both and walked from the room.  
  
Sinjun had turned to watch him leave. Once he was gone, she glanced up at me and commented, "How sad."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"That people like that are a part of your life."  
  
Pity. The one thing I never wanted from her. It angered me. Pushing away from the desk, I walked around to the other side, digging through the drawer until I found the extra set of keys to the Aston Martin. I tossed them to her.  
  
"Try not to crash it," I snapped.  
  
Sinjun offered a tight smile in reply. "Well that all depends on whether or not there is someone out to kill you today, Lex. Perhaps I should let you drive it."  
  
I blinked. That hurt, more than I would have ever cared to admit. I looked away quickly, fighting for control over those emotions that made me weak. More and more I learned my father was right about me.  
  
Sinjun obviously saw my reaction though, for almost immediately she recanted, "Lex, I'm sorry. I didn't mean – "  
  
"Just go, okay?" I told her, still refusing to look at her, taking a seat at my desk, concentrating on the twin monitors before me.  
  
She stood there a moment longer. Her perfume was permeating the air. I doubted that this room or my bedroom would ever stop smelling like her. Maybe I should have the staff rearrange the place. I know I had asked for her anger, but it still hurt to be on the receiving end. I doubted highly that she meant what she said – I knew she hadn't – Sinjun didn't have it in her to be purposely cruel to anyone. But that didn't change the fact that her words hung in the air between us, an unwelcome addition to the gap that was quickly widening.  
  
"Some of these are very pretty," Sinjun commented quietly, her attention returning to the Elizabethan jewels. "It's a shame that some people can so easily give up something beautiful and rare."  
  
My gaze shot up sharply at that, and she met it unwaveringly. I gripped the arm of my chair tightly.  
  
She shrugged, looking back down, adding, "I guess there are those who just seem to have their concept of value all screwed up."  
  
"Or maybe it all depends on one's viewpoint," I countered.  
  
Sinjun held up an enormous diamond brooch surrounded by fat red rubies. "Someone's obviously been looking through cracked lenses." She set it back amongst the pile. "Glad you think you know what you're doing, Lex."  
  
The problem was I didn't know what I was doing. I was acting on instinct. Protecting myself. Survival of the fittest and all of that crap. And it terrified me to know that she seemed to see that. That I had become so transparent to her. It angered me, too. I was feeling vulnerable beneath her scrutiny, and I hated it.  
  
"Why don't you stop telling me how to live my life?" I snapped, turning back to the monitors.  
  
"Whatever you want… Mr. Luthor."  
  
I winced, keeping my eyes focused on the screens as I heard her heels move away from the desk toward the door. A wave of concern flashed through me once more, and before I could stop myself, I looked up and called out, "Be careful tonight. Both Dominic and my father will be there. Not everyone in LuthorCorp is – "  
  
Sinjun whirled around and glared at me. "Don't worry about me, Lex. I've learned my lessons the hard way on how to deal with your kind."  
  
It was the "your kind" comment that hurt the worse. She had just lumped me in with my father and Dominic, the same as her uncle did. Unreasonable rage rocketed through me, and I bolted out of my chair, stalking toward her. To her credit, she held her ground, though I saw a momentary flash of fear in her eyes as I neared. It was most likely what stopped me from reaching out and strangling her.  
  
"Don't you ever speak to me that way again!" I roared.  
  
Silence. Sinjun turned her gaze to the floor while I continued to watch her.  
  
"I'm… sorry," she said softly.  
  
I didn't stop there. "I trust I can let you attend this party alone?"  
  
Sinjun raised her gaze to mine. Resentful, angry. A hint of pain. "Yes. I will do my best to represent both the Plant and you."  
  
"Good. I'll call you tomorrow for details."  
  
She nodded and then darted away from me, down the hall toward the door. I took a step after her, stopped myself. I wasn't going to apologize. Not when she had been the one to hurt me.  
  
I hurt her.  
  
She hurt me.  
  
A vicious cycle was developing between us, and I didn't know when or how it was going to end.  
  
****  
  
I was in rare form when the limo finally pulled up to the docks near the river where the meeting was to take place. During the past few days, I had been doing a little investigation into my contact only to discover his affiliation to the mafia. So now my father had lowered himself to dealing with criminals. I couldn't believe he would want some goddamned Da Vinci's that badly. It made sense as to how they could even make the trade though, since I doubted the men I was meeting with actually owned the art work. Most likely it had all been pilfered from some European museum years ago. I think my old man was truly losing his mind.  
  
Unfortunately, my mind was more focused on Sinjun and our last confrontation at that moment than it should have been. I did warn my driver to keep his eyes open as I emerged from the car, but I wasn't really thinking the way I should have been. I took little notice of the five men who were lining the perimeter, watching me carefully, other than a cursory glance their way, an amused expression on my face.  
  
Louis Donnelly, my contact throughout the past week, approached smiling. "Mr. Luthor, it is a pleasure to finally meet you face to face."  
  
I nodded my head toward the five men. "Exactly how many guns are trained on me at this moment? Kind of a funny way of showing trust, don't you think?"  
  
Louis shrugged, spreading his hands before him helplessly. "What am I to do? My client does not trust Luthors."  
  
I couldn't help but shake my head in disbelief. "I'm dealing with the mafia, and they don't trust me?"  
  
"You have the merchandise?" Louis asked, ignoring my comment.  
  
"Of course. You have the paintings?"  
  
"Yes, but not so fast." He turned, snapping his fingers, and a little man in a suit that seemed to big for his frame hurried over. "This is Eddie. He would like to take a look at the jewelry before we proceed."  
  
I scoffed at that. "You've got to be kidding me? You actually think we would deal in reproductions instead of giving you the real thing? This is preposterous and you can take your goddamned paintings and –"  
  
"Please, Mr. Luthor," Louis soothed. "It is only a precaution. Besides, I know for a fact your father really wants the Da Vinci's. I do not think he would be too pleased were his son to walk away from this."  
  
It pissed me off that I knew he was right. I walked back to the car and yanked out the case, then moved back to the little man named Eddie and handed it to him. "Be my guest."  
  
Eddie gave me a quick bow, taking the case from my hands and hurrying over to lay it against the hood of one of their three black limos they had arrived in. I frowned as a chill swept over me. Something was wrong. My father sure as hell didn't tell me these guys were so paranoid that they would bring a jeweler with them. Nor had I expected the amount of firepower that was represented before me.  
  
I remained waiting by the car, my nerves on edge. I glanced back at my driver, who stood by the door, ready to leave at a moment's notice. Taking a deep breath, I glanced over at the two men huddled around the jewels. I wished they would speed this along. It was insulting that they would bring a jeweler along with them as if the Luthors would own anything other than the real thing. I planned on telling my father my opinion of his business associates.  
  
Suddenly, my phone began ringing. I considered not answering it but when I glanced at the readout and saw it was Sinjun, I found myself hitting "talk". I knew she wouldn't be calling unless it was important.  
  
She spoke before I did. "Lex?"  
  
"What is it, Sinj? I'm kind of busy – "  
  
"The jewelry is fake, Lex."  
  
I froze, blinking, staring at the men ahead of me. "What are you talking about?" I asked calmly.  
  
"The real stuff is still here at the museum, Lex. I saw it with my own eyes. I asked one of the guards about it, and he said according to the timer on the case, it hasn't been removed in over two years."  
  
This wasn't good. Any moment now they would know.  
  
"Lex? You need to get out of there."  
  
"That would look slightly suspicious." I tried to remain composed. My heart was thudding frantically against my chest. Clark wasn't here to rescue me this time.  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"The docks."  
  
"I'm on my way to the car right now – "  
  
"Stay out of this, Sinjun."  
  
"Lex, you need – "  
  
"I mean it," I told her firmly. I glanced up, saw that they were done inspecting the jewels and were now headed my way. They were joined by two more men, their guns visible. They appeared perturbed. "I have to go now, Sinjun."  
  
"Lex, no wait!"  
  
"Goodbye." I hung up the phone, turning it off in case she called back and slipped it into my pocket, forcing a smile as I moved forward. "Everything okay, gentlemen?"  
  
Louis' expression was unreadable. "It appears my client was right in not trusting the Luthors. These jewels are fake." He tossed the case to the ground, the jewelry scattering at my feet.  
  
"You must be mistaken," I lied smoothly. "For what possible reason would we wish to do such a thing? Perhaps your jeweler here simply doesn't understand antique jewelry."  
  
"I am sorry, Mr. Luthor," Eddie spoke in a surprisingly pleasant voice. "But antique jewels are my specialty. Especially those dating between the 14th and 16th centuries."  
  
Shit. "I'm certain that this mix up can be explained," I told them. "It's possible that my father never had – "  
  
"Your father has made me look very bad, Mr. Luthor," Louis warned. "And I believe it is my right to send a warning back to him not to fuck with me in such a way again."  
  
There was no escape. I took a step back. "I'm certain there's something – "  
  
The moment Louis made a motion with his hand, I dove over the trunk of my limo, falling to the other side as a barrage of bullets swept across the car. I heard my driver cry out, the sound of a body hitting the ground. Glancing over my shoulder, I calculated the distance between the car and the nearest warehouse, and without another moment's hesitation I made a break for it. I heard the bullets ricocheting off the asphalt behind me, but somehow kept myself from looking back. Footsteps and shouting echoed after me as I reached the first door to one of the empty buildings and shoved it open, diving inside.  
  
I kept going as my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness around me, tripping twice, hurrying as I heard the door open and voices reached me as my pursuers poured in. Reaching a row of crates, I ducked behind them, following the stack as it led against the outer wall and toward another door on the opposite side of the warehouse. I crouched there, straining to listen for the sounds of footfalls around me.  
  
"You can't hide, Mr. Luthor," Louis called out. "Come on out, and we'll make certain we kill you quickly. Don't worry. Your father will be able to identify your body."  
  
That was a comforting thought. I glanced toward the door at the opposite end once more. It was about thirty or so yards away, and there was no protection. Once I stepped away from the crates, I'd be out in the open. I listened once more for their footsteps, waiting to see if they moved away. Behind me, I peered into the darkness, hoping that none of them snuck up on me. I turned back, convinced myself that it was the only choice I had and sprang forward. There were shouts behind me, some sort of commotion that didn't sound as if they were chasing after me. When I heard someone cry out, curiosity got the best of me and I turned. There was a blur of something in the darkness and bullets rang out once more.  
  
A white hot burning sensation pulsed through the right side of my chest. I found myself gasping for breath as I stumbled back and fell to the ground. Only distantly did I realize I had been shot. Beyond that, the knowledge that I would likely die here. Then I remembered my conversation with Sinjun. She would likely be on her way here, and if she walked in on this, they would surely kill her, too. The thought terrified me. I sent a silent prayer to a God I didn't believe in that if He did exist, to please keep her out of harm's way.  
  
Then I thought of her smile as darkness descended over me. 


	9. Part Three - By Starlight Chapter One

PART THREE – By Starlight  
  
Chapter One  
  
I didn't know that it was so cold  
  
And you needed someone  
  
to show you the way  
  
So I took your hand and we figured out  
  
That when the tide comes  
  
I'd take you away  
  
1 All That You Wanted – Michelle Branch  
  
  
  
I'm falling in love with Lex Luthor.  
  
Yeah, shocked the hell out of me too. I mean, I've known I was attracted to him since the day we met outside the Plant. And little by little, there were aspects of him that pulled at me and drew me in. His smile, his intelligence, the inner child in him that seemed to scream for someone to care. It's hard for the maternal instinct to ignore that, especially when a soul is crying out as loudly as his is. I never realized how deep I was in though, not even after the night of the Fourth. Everything had been so incredible. and he had been so much gentler than I had expected and then wham! it was over just like that, and the Lex that he expected everyone to believe was the real him emerged. And at first it had hurt, and I had gone home and cried myself to sleep. Then I had just gotten angry and wanted nothing more than to hurt him back, which was completely irrational on my part since it is easy to see how often he has been hurt throughout life. So he hurts me and I hurt him and he hurts me… A vicious cycle.  
  
But then tonight, everything changed for me. It was no longer about reacting in anger but forgiving and teaching him that he doesn't have to be afraid of me. He asked me if I thought I could save him. I don't think he needs saving. I think he just needs love. It won't be easy. I'm not fooling myself about that. His defenses are the strongest I have ever encountered and for me to simply walk up to him and announce that I am falling in love would only serve to push him away further. No, I will have to chip away at him bit by bit until one day, without me saying it, he will realize that he is loved. It's the only way that I will be able to make him believe. God, I must be insane to try to take this on.  
  
I had gone to the party at the museum as Lex had asked. The evening had started out with my being cornered by the managers of Plant Numbers One and Two, demanding to know Lex's secrets behind the growth that Plant Number Three had experienced lately. When I had simply replied it was due to his excellent business skills, they had promptly decided that it was only because he was Lionel's son and could do what he wanted. That pissed me off to no end. I excused myself from that conversation and ended up yawning through another conversation with some LuthorCorp board members. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before Dominic had sniffed me out, bearing a glass of champagne and a smooth smile.  
  
I didn't like the man. Not one bit. Not from the moment I had met him in Lex's house. Our conversation at the museum made me like him even less. He made some extremely snide comments regarding the relationship shared by Lex and I, as if that was the reason I got the position I held. I almost hit him. Instead, I enthusiastically informed him about the Fortune magazine article. Dominic had run away quickly after that, I was certain, to tell Lionel Luthor all about it.  
  
My instincts were correct when a few minutes later, Lex's father had quietly cornered me in a secluded area of the museum. I had been staring at a case filled with gorgeous Faberge eggs when I felt someone walk up behind me. Another glass of champagne appeared dangling before me. Knowing I would probably need it, I took it, drank a sip, then turned to find Lionel Luthor smiling in front of me.  
  
"Miss St. Claire. A pleasure."  
  
I raised an eyebrow at that in disbelief. "Funny, but I got the completely opposite impression the last time we met."  
  
He smiled. "Please blame my past behavior on a father's desire to look out for his son."  
  
"You mean you were looking after your empire."  
  
"Semantics," he replied with a wave of his hand. He moved closer to me, and I took a step back, only to find myself pressed up against the case with no where to go. "I hear you and my son have been spending quite a bit of time together."  
  
Was there someone spying on us? For some reason, I didn't doubt it. Not with the way Lionel was regarding me at the moment, like a particularly tasty morsel he was more than ready to take a bite out of. "We've had a lot of work to do."  
  
"Hmmm." Lionel reached out and brushed his fingers across my cheek which made my skin crawl in reaction. "I heard about that Fortune story. Nice work."  
  
Imagine my lack of surprise. "Thank you."  
  
"Someone like you could go far in the world," he continued, his fingers now moving down my arm. I itched to throw my drink in his face. "But not if you're holed up in a crap factory in Smallville. What would you say to coming to Metropolis and working at the LuthorCorp headquarters for me?"  
  
How's no way in hell for an answer? "I am perfectly happy where I am at the moment, Mr. Luthor – "  
  
"Of course you are," Lionel replied as if he didn't believe me. "I would double your salary. You would travel the world." He leaned over me, whispered into my ear, "There would be other benefits to working for me as well, Miss St. Claire."  
  
I bit back the retort I wanted to utter, knowing that I was still representing Lex, and I didn't need to make the relationship between him and his father any worse than it was. Still, I couldn't believe he had actually made me such an offer. "Mr. Luthor, I am not so stupid as to not realize that your offer is a… generous one, but I am surprised that you would consider doing such a thing to your son. Especially after the way you criticized him for hiring me in the first place." What I wanted to really do was kick the man.  
  
Lionel shrugged, smiled. "My son and I continually play chess, Miss St. Claire. This is simply another move on my part."  
  
I returned the smile, slipped away from his reaching hands. "How nice for you, Mr. Luthor. Unfortunately, I am no one's pawn. Not your son's. And definitely not yours. Excuse me."  
  
I headed straight for the ladies room and stayed there for over twenty minutes. When I figured the coast was clear, I emerged once more and decided I'd had enough of that party and was getting out of there. That's when I passed through the Luthor Hall of the museum and noticed the Elizabethan jewels in the case, especially the emerald necklace that had caught my eye at Lex's house. And a cold chill had swept over me. I had taken out my phone and dialed Lex. He had been disbelieving and then, quietly accepting. When he had hung up on me, I had dialed back immediately but only got his voice mail. I panicked. Called Clark. Like he could have helped all the way out in Smallville. He told me to calm down, hang up the phone, and call the police. Then he told me not to go near the docks, no matter what I wanted to do or thought I could do. Oh yeah, like I was going to listen to him or Lex. I dialed the police, gave them the location, then ran for the Aston Martin.  
  
When I'd arrived at the docks, the police and medics were already there. I became frantic when I saw the coroner zipping up the body bag on Lex's driver. The police finally calmed me enough to let me know that Lex had been shot, but was alive and on his way to the hospital. I wanted to follow immediately, but they held me back for questions. I knew that I had to give in to them since I would soon be talking to the press anyway. Already my mind had kicked into damage control – the press would go nuts over the shooting of Lex Luthor. Luckily, they didn't keep me long. I got the distinct feeling that the cops I spoke with had dealt with the Luthors before, and there would be little to no investigation.  
  
So there I was standing in the hospital, waiting for Lex to come out of surgery while I watched the summer rain falling onto the city outside. It was just after midnight, and I was beginning to feel the effects of the day, from the confrontation between me and Lex in his library, to the party, the frantic phone call to Lex, and the realization that he could have been killed.  
  
And now the knowledge that I was falling in love with him.  
  
"Sinjun!"  
  
I turned to see Clark hurrying down the hall toward me, aunt Martha following behind. I was so relieved to see a welcome face I couldn't see straight. I went to him immediately, and he hugged me.  
  
"Are you okay?" He asked, holding me away from him to look me over. "What happened to Lex?"  
  
Aunt Martha was beside me before I could answer. "Honey, you look exhausted! When Clark told me what happened, we got in the car and hurried here as quickly as we could. Your uncle was out hunting, or he'd be here too."  
  
I hugged her, looked at both of them. "I'm fine. Tired, I guess. Lex is in surgery. He was shot."  
  
Aunt Martha gasped. Clark just frowned.  
  
"Is he going to be okay?" My aunt asked.  
  
"I… I don't know. They haven't told me much yet." I was terrified, and I couldn't admit as much to her. I glanced at Clark, knowing that I could at least talk to my cousin. I had no one else.  
  
"I'm going to call Jonathon and let him know where we are and what's going on so he doesn't worry," aunt Martha told us before hugging me again and hurrying off to the phones.  
  
Clark took my hand and led me over to the chairs where he sat down beside me. "Okay, explain to me what happened."  
  
"Lex was going to this meeting for his father – trading jewels for something. Anyway, while I was at the museum, I saw the exact same jewels and realized that what Lex had were fake. So I called and warned him. When I showed up at the docks, the police and medics were there." I shook my head. "It was weird. Two of the men who had shot at Lex were unconscious. The police said they believe one of the stacked crates had come loose and fallen on them. But the others had taken off, without making certain Lex was dead. Isn't that strange?"  
  
Clark raised his eyebrows, shrugged. "Do we even know who these people were?"  
  
"I'm sure Lex does." I worried my lower lip for a long moment. I just wished someone would come out and tell me something. I was sick of trying to be strong for appearance's sake. I sighed. "Clark?"  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Something… something happened… between Lex and I."  
  
Silence. Then, "I kind of thought so."  
  
I looked over at him, and he was smiling. "It wasn't good, Clark." He frowned. I quickly added, "Well it was. And then it wasn't. In fact today… well we said some awful things to each other."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"Neither do I," I admitted. "One moment it's like he wants me and the next he doesn't."  
  
"Lex is a little closed off," Clark commented.  
  
"That's putting it mildly."  
  
Clark put his arm around me and gave me a hug. "Is there anything I can do?"  
  
"No. I am going to work through this," I told him quietly. "I can't help but get the feeling that Lex needs a little TLC in his life."  
  
My cousin smiled. "You really care about him, don't you?"  
  
I sighed. "Yeah. I guess I do. Your father will love that, won't he?"  
  
Clark made a face. "Oh. Didn't think of that. Maybe we'll just keep this between us for now, hmmm?"  
  
"Excuse me, you were the young lady with Mr. Luthor, correct?"  
  
I turned to see Dr. Ahluwahlia, whom I had met earlier, standing beside me. I immediately jumped to my feet, Clark joining me. "Is Lex all right?"  
  
"Mr. Luthor came through surgery just fine," he assured me. "The bullet nicked his lung which then led to a shortage of blood flow to the left atrium. We went in and sutured the tear in the lung's lining and aspirated the blood from the chest cavity. We're going to carefully monitor his blood pressure over the next few days and keep an eye out for any possible malfunctioning of the valves, such as mitral valve regurgitation."  
  
I hadn't the slightest idea of what the man was talking about. But that didn't matter. "May I see him?"  
  
"I'm sorry, ma'm. Only family are allowed in."  
  
Dammit!  
  
"She's his sister," Clark said.  
  
I blinked. The doctor blinked.  
  
"I didn't know Lionel Luthor had a daughter."  
  
"I'm not that important in the scheme of things," I supplied, wanting to both kick and kiss my cousin for his brilliant and yet troublesome mind.  
  
Dr. Ahluwahlia clearly didn't believe either of us. I was ready to cry. Finally he turned, indicating that I follow him. "Come along then, Miss Luthor."  
  
Flashing Clark a quick smile of thanks, I hurried after the doctor down the hall toward ICU. He stopped beside a door, held it open, and stepped aside so that I could pass. I came to a halt as I entered, my gaze staring ahead, barely registering the quiet closing of the door behind me. Lex looked so pale and weak against the stark white sheets, wires and tubes stemming from him to the blood pressure monitor, EKG and, IV. Forcing myself forward, I pulled a chair over beside the bed and sat down, gently lifting his hand into mine. A hand that could be at one moment gentle and strong and threatening the next. I held it against my cheek, enjoying the softness of his skin, and then I just broke.  
  
The past few days washed over me in a torrent of pain, and I cried for what I probably shouldn't have allowed to happen between us, no matter how badly I had wanted it, and the consequences that followed. I cried as I recalled the angry words I had said to him about people wanting to kill him and my comparison of him to his father and Dominic. I was angry with myself for wanting to hurt him when he had been hurt so often throughout his life already. I should have been more understanding, stronger. The excuse that he had hurt me first wasn't justifiable. I knew what I was doing when I had walked into his house that night; I knew why he had been pushing me away. Still I had selfishly taken what I wanted from him, even if he hadn't been ready for it. When the tears had finally ceased, and I knew in my heart what I needed to do, I laid my head beside him on the bed and fell asleep.  
  
I dreamed again of being in the White House, walking down the long hallway into the Oval Office. This time though, the doors to the terrace stood open. Longing for the feel of the sun against my skin, I stepped outside, blinking for a moment against the harsh light. Around me, there stood only silence. No breeze blew through the trees, no birds chirped. Nothing. It was as if I had created an artificial world into which I could escape.  
  
"It's only us."  
  
I turned to find Lex standing beside me, dressed as I was in all white. I shook my head. "I'm lonely. I don't want it to be like this."  
  
"Its too late. I'm all you have, Sinjun. Isn't that what you wanted?" He turned and walked back through the doors.  
  
I shivered, looked around, glanced over the railing, contemplating the fall beneath me.  
  
"Sinjun!" Lex called from beyond the doors. "Come inside before the world sees you."  
  
Drawn by all that I knew was Lex, I started in, when Clark's voice came from behind me:  
  
"Don't follow him, Sinjun. Stay. Stay in the light."  
  
I turned, looking for my cousin, but couldn't see him anywhere. "Clark? Where are you? Come out, please."  
  
"I can't, Sinjun. There is too much you wouldn't understand. I must remain hidden."  
  
"And I must follow Lex." I turned toward the doors once more.  
  
"Once you step through, you will never be able to turn back."  
  
"Sinjun!" Lex called again, desperate, agitated.  
  
"I know," I told Clark. "But Lex needs me."  
  
"Sinjun, don't," Clark pleaded. "Stay. Just a while longer."  
  
"Goodbye, Clark." I took a step over the threshold.  
  
"Sinjun!" Clark cried out, but I didn't look back. "Sinjun!...  
  
"Sinjun? Hey, Sinjun, wake up."  
  
I opened my eyes to find Clark standing beside me, holding out a Styrofoam cup filled with coffee. I blinked for a moment, attempting to separate the dream from reality, before I glanced over at Lex who appeared unchanged. I realized I still had not let go of his hand.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"After two," Clark replied, shoving the coffee toward me once more. "Mom and I are going to head back home. She thought you might want to go with us, but I told her I doubted it."  
  
I smiled. "Thanks, Clark."  
  
"Anyway, I brought you this to help with the whole "wake" factor." He shoved the coffee toward me again. "I know you hate the stuff but it's all they have."  
  
"What? You didn't run all the way to Starbucks?" Clark grinned as I frowned, but I took it and swallowed the bitter beverage down, made a face, drank some more. "Any sign of Lex's father?"  
  
Clark shook his head. "No, but I did see some reporters. They wanted to talk to you, but I told them to come back tomorrow."  
  
I shook my head in disbelief. "His own son is lying in a hospital bed, shot, and he doesn't even have the decency to come see him."  
  
"Yeah, you should have heard some of the things my mom has been saying," Clark agreed. "I didn't even know that she knew some of those words."  
  
I laughed a little. Clark always could make me feel better.  
  
"Mom wanted to know if you needed anything before we left?"  
  
"No, I'm okay. I'll call in the morning to let you know how he's doing."  
  
"Okay." Clark leaned over and kissed my cheek. "He'll be okay, Sinj. Lex is tougher than he looks."  
  
"I'm sure he'll appreciate your saying that." I smiled.  
  
"Doubtful. See you later. And tell Lex I'm glad he's okay for me when he wakes up."  
  
"I will. Goodnight."  
  
I watched as Clark disappeared through the door, and I was left alone once more with Lex and the soft, reassuring beeping of the monitor beside him. Leaning over, I brushed my hand across his forehead, caressed his smooth head, ran my fingers down his cheek. In a way, I was taking advantage of his unconsciousness to do what I knew he would most likely not allow otherwise. I liked touching him, wanted to touch him, reassuring myself that he was there and he was alive. For good or bad, Lex Luthor had become a significant part of my life, and I just didn't think that I wanted him out of it just yet. Standing, I placed a kiss at his temple then, grabbing my coffee, I wandered around the small room, working out the strain on my muscles from sleeping in such a strange position. Always, my gaze strayed back to the bed, silently pleading for the motionless form to awaken.  
  
In the next hour a new doctor, by the name of Adams, came on shift and attempted to get me to leave. Not having Clark's finesse, I became a little belligerent and angry, and he threatened to notify security. I guess I'd been influenced by Lex a little too much already because I promptly informed him that being both Lex's valued employee and confidant, I would make certain that this hospital would never see another penny from LuthorCorp for research or otherwise, and that I doubted it would be very hard for LuthorCorp lawyers to find a reason to have his license revoked. After that, I was left alone. It didn't take long before I felt ashamed for what I had said and done, and I considered seeking out Dr. Adams and apologizing. But then I looked over at Lex and pictured him waking to find no one there, and I realized I had done the right thing. It was Lex who was important at the moment, not some doctor's over-inflated ego. Growing tired once more, I curled up into the chair beside the bed, my gaze carefully trained on Lex until my eyes grew too heavy to hold open any longer.  
  
I dreamed that I was holding Lex's unmoving form against me, my clothes and hands bathed in the blood from his wound. I caressed his face, kissed his cold lips, knowing that he was already lost to me. Despair took over me, and I held him to me, breathed my life into his lungs, gave of him everything I harbored within me, determined to trade my life for his. And then he was holding me, alive and strong and tears flowed from his eyes, and he ran his fingers over my lips, kissed me, whispering over and over again how very sorry he was.  
  
"Save me, Lex," I begged.  
  
He shook his head. "I can't. Please forgive me, but I can't."  
  
Lex leaned down, kissed me once more, and I clung to him, desperate to take him with me, to never let go, not caring that life was ebbing from both of us and we were falling into darkness together.  
  
"Let me go," Lex begged, struggling within my grasp.  
  
"I can't," I replied. "Please forgive me, but I can't…"  
  
I forced myself awake, my eyes flying open, my heart pounding rapidly in my chest. I unclenched my hands, which had been balled into fists in my lap. My neck ached from the position I had been laying in against the chair. I could still feel his cold lips and the wetness of his tears on my face. The room was flooded with the dawn's light from the window, signaling that I had slept the past few hours peacefully. Willing myself to calm, I suddenly felt the unpleasant sensation of being watched and quickly cast my gaze over at the bed where Lex's eyes were open and quietly watching me. Relief flooded through me.  
  
"Lex!" I uncurled myself from the chair and leaned over to him, once more gathering his hand into mine. I reached over and pushed the button to alert the nurse before turning my attention back to him. I wanted very much to tell him how worried I had been but fear of moving too fast held me back. Instead, I asked, "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like… " He rasped, his throat obviously dry. "Like I've been shot."  
  
I smiled. "Well, that would make sense, wouldn't it?"  
  
Standing, I poured him some water from the pitcher beside the bed, then reached my hand under his head to lift him up just a little and held the glass to his lips. He took a few swallows before pulling away, and I gently lowered his head back to the pillow. Lex continued to watch me as I returned to the seat and laid my hand over his. His gaze was full of questions that I knew would have to be addressed eventually, but for now I wanted the doctor to look him over and assure me once more that he would be all right.  
  
"What happened?" He asked finally with a frown. "I thought for certain that I was dead."  
  
"Well, there – " I started but the door opened, admitting Dr. Adams and his nurse, and I quickly stood.  
  
"I see our patient is awake," the doctor announced as if neither of us had already figured that out. "How are you feeling, Mr. Luthor?"  
  
"How should I be feeling?" Lex snapped back, his voice still slightly groggy.  
  
I found myself smiling though. Clark had been right. Lex would be fine.  
  
Dr. Adams flashed a tight smile that I'm certain Lex would get rid of in no time. "Miss. St. Claire, would you mind waiting outside while we exam Mr. Luthor?"  
  
I glanced down at Lex, feeling slightly overprotective but knowing I had probably already pushed my limits with the medical staff. "I'll be right outside the door," I told him.  
  
Lex grunted in reply, glaring at the nurse as she approached him with a tray filled with metal instruments. Wincing in sympathy – I personally hated hospitals – I quietly slid out the door, immediately pulling the cell phone from my pocket and dialing home.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Clark. It's Sinj."  
  
"Hey! How's Lex?"  
  
"He just woke up, as cranky as ever."  
  
Clark laughed. "Told you he'd be all right."  
  
"How're things at home?"  
  
"Dad's not too happy with you still being there. He wants to know where it's written that as an employee of Lex's, you are supposed to be his nursemaid as well. He threatened to drive out there and get you this morning."  
  
I made a face. "I kind of figured that would be his reaction. Look, just explain that I have to handle press matters. It's my job."  
  
"What about rest? You've been up a long time, Sinj."  
  
"I've been sleeping in the chair. I'm fine, Clark. Don't worry about me."  
  
"My dad isn't going to like this, you know."  
  
"If he gets really testy after chores this morning, have him give me a call."  
  
"Wow. You're brave."  
  
"Geez. That instills confidence, Clark. Thanks." I wandered into the waiting room as we spoke, finding the coffee dispenser. I filled a cup about halfway with powered creamer, added half as much sugar, and then filled it with coffee. That ought to keep me sufficiently wired for a while. If not, I would just resort to some Mountain Dew.  
  
"Well I'd better get the cows fed. Say hi to Lex for me."  
  
"I will. Bye, Clark."  
  
I hung up, took a taste of the coffee, winced at the flavor, poured a quarter of it out and then filled it with more powered creamer. There, that was better. I dialed the castle.  
  
"Luthor residence."  
  
"Brandon? It's Sinjun."  
  
"Ah, Miss St. Claire. How is Mr. Luthor?"  
  
"He's awake and doing well judging by his disposition." I paused. "You haven't heard anything from Lionel Luthor, have you?"  
  
"No, miss. Nothing. Though we have had plenty of calls from Mr. Luthor's business associates and press. Mr. Sullivan was also hoping that you might contact him when you have a moment."  
  
"I'll take care of it. For now, just keep taking messages for Lex. I don't think he needs to be dealing with any business matters at the moment. Besides, if anyone has a question, they can read the paper."  
  
"Yes, I have my copy of the Planet in front of me right now." I could hear Brandon's smile through the phone. "Interesting little story, how it paints Mr. Luthor as a hero. His father will be… amused."  
  
"Hmph."  
  
I could care less what Lionel Luthor thought of it. I had to tell the press something and since I doubted that the truth of the matter was anything the Luthor's wanted getting out, I had to make things up as I went along. So the story I had fed to the press last night was that Lex had accidentally come into information regarding some stolen Da Vinci artwork from Europe. His intention had been to collect the art and return it to the museums from which it had been pilfered. Only, things had gone badly and he had almost died in the heroic attempt to restore such important and valuable treasures. I knew the press would take things from there and embellish however they felt was necessary. It was frightening, how easy this line of work was becoming for me.  
  
We hung up, I dialed Gabe, and filled him in on Lex's condition. He said the phones were going crazy already that morning at the Plant. I told him to forward them to me, and I would take care of it. We chatted a little about when to expect Lex back, and I told him that I would try to have him give Gabe a call later that day. I seriously doubted that Lex would be out of commission for long – bullet wound or no. For some reason, I found myself picturing the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, still trying to fight without his arms and legs. The thought made me giggle, and I realized I was seriously in need of some uninterrupted sleep.  
  
Slipping the phone back into my pocket, I tossed the coffee, dug through my purse for some coins, and broke down and bought myself a Mountain Dew. Pure caffeine, through and through. I hated the stuff almost as much as coffee. Still, I got two cans out of the vending machine, slipped one into my purse, opened the other, and swallowed it down. There were a half dozen people scattered around the waiting room, two stretched out across the couches, sleeping hard, a couple of kids coloring at the table. They glanced up at me as I walked past, and I smiled down and complimented their work before moving back down the hall toward Lex's room, where I remained waiting outside the door, my mind drifting to the memory of that too short evening that Lex and I had spent together.  
  
"Well, I see the lioness is protecting her cub."  
  
I snapped from my reverie to see Lionel Luthor leering down at me, his expression a cross between amusement and immense dislike. I glanced down at his hands to see him holding copies of the Planet and Inquisitor, both of which he was currently slapping irritably against his thigh. I hated that this man intimidated me so badly. I wanted to stand up to him but always felt myself shrinking in his overbearing presence. It was like being forced to confront Satan himself and then realizing you walked into Hell without a single fragment of ammunition.  
  
Finally gathering my wits about me, I retorted, "What, did you finally find a few seconds in that overly packed schedule of yours to see whether or not your only child was dead or alive?"  
  
A thin smile. "Why should I worry when he is obviously in such… capable hands?" He waved the papers in my face. "My son makes the screw up of the century, and you have him painted to be a hero? I can't decide if you're incredibly clever or extraordinarily obtuse."  
  
"That's funny, since I can't decide if you're just simply a terrible father or an undeniable asshole to everyone, regardless of blood relation."  
  
Lionel took a threatening step toward me, and I backed up, about two inches since behind me was a wall. He grabbed my chin and lifted my gaze to meet his. Cold, calculating. "Your father was a valued member of LuthorCorp, Miss St. Claire. I would hate to see the St. Claire name sullied because you haven't learned when to keep your mouth shut."  
  
I debated opening it right then but wisely refrained from a reply.  
  
Lionel stepped back, still holding my gaze. "Now, I am going in to speak with my son, unless you have an objection?"  
  
"Well.. erm… the doctor is examining Lex," I informed him.  
  
"Then I guess he'll have to stop, now won't he?"  
  
Lionel flashed me one more look, one which I couldn't quite distinguish, and pushed the door open. I peered in through the narrow window of the door in time to see Lex look up at his father, and the myriad of emotions that passed across his face made me want to scream. The briefest moment of happiness, followed by sorrow, resignation, and finally anger. I was tempted to follow Lionel in there but instead barely jumped out of the way as Dr. Adams and the nurse practically flew out the door, Lionel's barking voice on their heels. The doctor turned to look at me as he passed by, his expression incredulous.  
  
"You actually work for these people?" He shook his head and stalked off down the hall.  
  
I sighed. Yeah, well, not everyone was smart enough to become a doctor.  
  
Turning, I peeked back in through the window. Lex's head was turned toward the window, so I figured his father was on the opposite side of the room where Lex wouldn't have to look at him. I watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched, he winced, then a careful mask fell over his features, and he turned back towards Lionel. The older man's voice raised occasionally but I only heard snatches of the conversation, something about Lex "letting such a deal fall through", "not paying attention to detail", and "disappointing me yet again, Lex". No hint of "I'm so glad to see your okay, Lex" or "I'm sorry I got you involved in this, Lex". Nothing even remotely parental-like and concerned. No wonder Lex shut himself off from people the way he did. Feeling that Lex had suffered enough torment, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialed Gabe at the Plant.  
  
"Gabe? Sinjun here… Do me a favor and call me back immediately on my cell. Ask for Lex… I just need to get Lex out of his current situation… How'd you guess?… Oh… Yeah… I don't know, make something up… Thanks, Gabe. I owe you one."  
  
I hung up. Seconds later the phone rang. I hit "talk", held it to my ear.  
  
"This is Sinjun. Sure, Gabe. Hang on." I pushed through the door, just as Lionel was in the middle of some sentence about Philip of Macedonia. I couldn't for the life of me fathom what a history lesson had to do with being in the hospital with a bullet wound, but I put it from my mind, figuring I would never fully understand the Luthors anyway.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt," I commented to Lionel as I brushed past him over to Lex's side. "It's Gabe. He said it was important."  
  
Lex frowned, took the phone from me, quietly began speaking to Gabe. I turned back to Lionel, my smile freezing on my face. Damn, he was pissed. I winced when his hand shot out, and he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over to stand in front of him, away from earshot of Lex. He leaned over me, his icy gaze holding mine.  
  
"You may feel you've won this round, Miss St. Claire, but I guarantee you've done nothing but set yourself up for a bigger fall. You think you're protecting my son from me? Others have thought the same thing and ultimately failed." He smiled then, pleasantly. "Oh, I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong. You see, my dear Sinjun, I don't have to do anything. Ultimately, it will be Lex who screws you over, leaving you as little more than an empty, soulless husk. He does that, you know. Feeds off the strength of others. I will admit, I shall enjoy watching your descent into Hell. Enjoy your victory while it lasts."  
  
Lionel stepped away from me, chuckling as he made his way through the door and out of the room.  
  
I felt sick. I thought I was going to throw up. What was I doing? Were these simple games that father and son enjoyed playing with one another? How the hell did I ever think I could join in?  
  
"What the hell was that all about?" Lex demanded from behind me.  
  
I turned to look at him, not certain what he was talking about, my mind still echoing with Lionel's parting words.  
  
Immediately, Lex's expression softened as he looked at me. "Sinj, what's wrong? What did he say to you? Come here." Somehow my legs carried me over to him. He took my hand in his, told me to sit down, his gaze continually watching me. "You're pale as a ghost. What happened between you and my father?"  
  
I shook my head. I really didn't know. Finally, I answered, "Last night he offered for me to come work for him. Leave you and the Plant." Lex frowned at that but said nothing. "This morning… I think he doesn't like the story I fed the press."  
  
Lex smiled. The sight of it tore at my heart. "No, he didn't like that at all. You might have gotten away with it if you had said he was the one to discover the information, but he hates it when I'm mentioned in the press." Lex paused and I belatedly realized his thumb was stroking the palm of my hand. His blue eyes were watching me closely. I wanted to lean over and kiss that perfect mouth. "I… thank you, Sinjun," he said softly.  
  
It took me a moment to understand what he was talking about. I had to stop looking at his lips and concentrate on his eyes. No, I got lost there too. Finally I shrugged. "It's my job."  
  
Lex frowned. "Is it?"  
  
No, the truth is I would do positively anything for you whether I worked for you or not. Of course, I couldn't voice that out loud. Lex would have jumped right out of the bed and taken off at a dead run. The visual that thought conjured was a funny one, and I couldn't refrain from smiling.  
  
"What is it?" He asked, his gaze trained on my smile.  
  
"Nothing." I shook my head; changed the subject. "Clark says hello. He wishes he could be here too but he's needed on the farm."  
  
Lex nodded. There was a brief moment of silence where he handed my phone back to me, and I dropped it into my pocket. He still held on to one of my hands. Finally, he asked, "What are you doing here?" He looked up and our gazes met and held. "And don't tell me it's your job."  
  
Here we go. Am I ready for this? Probably not. "I'm here because I want to be here, Lex. Because I don't want you to be alone. Because you need me. Because I need to be here."  
  
Turning his head away, Lex told me, "Sinjun, go home – "  
  
"No, Lex. I listened to you once, and I'm not going to make that mistake again."  
  
He turned a quietly disbelieving gaze in my direction. "You're not going to listen to me?"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
There was long silence between us where we continued to watch one another. I kept waiting for that mask to fall over his features, for him to shut himself off from me completely, but surprisingly it didn't happen. I watched as disbelief turned into surprise, a very brief, simmering anger then, every so slowly, something that closely resembled acceptance. Lex's hand tightened around mine. I squeezed back.  
  
"This is impossible, you know," Lex told me softly as he tugged me nearer to him. "It's not going to be easy."  
  
"Nothing worth having ever is, Lex," I replied, sounding more confident about the situation than I felt.  
  
"I'll try to push you away," he added.  
  
I moved closer. "I know."  
  
"I'll hurt you."  
  
"There are some things that would hurt worse, Lex," I whispered as his hand wound around the back of my neck, pulling me toward him.  
  
"You'll have to be strong." His fingers threaded through my hair.  
  
"I'll be strong enough for both of us."  
  
My lips brushed over his, and I felt that familiar and welcome tingle from the tips of my hair to my toes. I tried to remind myself that he had been shot only hours before and was lying in a hospital bed hooked to an IV, and I really should have left him alone to rest but Lex's kisses were incredibly drugging. One would think he would be rough, dominating, and cold; but in actuality his kisses were soft, tender, impossibly gentle, and warm, almost hesitant as if he were uncertain they were invited. I could kiss him for hours on end. I wanted to trace that scar on his upper lip with my tongue, but I knew there was time enough for that once he was out of the hospital. Knowing this, I pulled back and retook my seat in the chair next to the bed.  
  
Lex was watching me. Hell, I was watching him. He still held my hand. That was a good sign. Happiness flooded through me. I found myself smiling. Lex smiled back. I yawned. He frowned.  
  
"You should go home, Sinjun," he told me sternly. "You're exhausted."  
  
I was already shaking my head. "No, Lex. I'm staying right here."  
  
"What? Until I'm released?" He scoffed. "Go back to Smallville. I'm sure your aunt and uncle are frantic about you being here anyway."  
  
"So you'd rather I drive two hours in an Aston Martin along a boring Kansas Highway when I'm dead on my feet?"  
  
Ha! Had him there. Lex knew it too, if his frown was any indication. He could give such fierce expressions. It had to be frightening to be his enemy. I drummed my fingers against the arm of the chair while I waited for his response. He continued to frown a good minute before finally looking back over at me.  
  
"Go to my apartment in town then. Get some rest. You can't argue with that. It's nearby – you can take the train to it if you need to. And you'll still be close enough to come running to my rescue whenever you deem it necessary."  
  
The last Lex said laden with heavy sarcasm. I wasn't so thick-headed that I didn't realize he was a little upset with my intrusion on his conversation with his father. I wasn't going to let that bother me though. I'd do it again if I had to.  
  
"You just can't admit when you need someone, can you, Lex?"  
  
A muscle flexed in his jaw. "Luthors don't need anyone, Sinjun. Once you realize and accept that, you'll save yourself a lot of heartache."  
  
"Yes, Lex." I nodded.  
  
He gave me a narrowed look. "Are you being condescending?"  
  
"No, you're just being paranoid," I replied innocently.  
  
"Paranoid my ass." And then he smiled and shook his head. "Where are my things? My keys should be in my coat pocket."  
  
I stood and walked over to the small closet where they had placed his clothes. I dug through the pockets of the leather jacket he had been wearing, finding not only his keys but also his cell phone and PDA, which I figured he would want for later. Moving back over to him, I set the articles on the table beside the bed while he took the key ring from me and slid the apartment key off of it, handing it to me.  
  
"It's located at 14003 Market Avenue, Penthouse #2. I'll call ahead to the doorman so that they can expect you. I haven't been there in awhile so don't expect there to be anything in the fridge."  
  
I quietly tried to remember the numbers he had rattled off. I felt slightly uncomfortable about going to his place without him as I stared down at the gold key I held in my hand. "Don't worry, Lex," I told him. "I won't disturb your things."  
  
Lex's hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. "I didn't mean that, Sinj," he replied. "You take whatever you need, okay? I'll call Anna, the woman who watches the place for me, and have her stock up the kitchen for you. Especially if you have any intention of staying in Metropolis until I'm released. Which I believe you do."  
  
"You think me incredibly foolish, don't you?" I asked, unable to meet his gaze.  
  
A long silence, then, "No, Sinj. More like incredibly wonderful."  
  
I looked up then, and he was smiling at me. I smiled back, leaned over, and kissed him. "Will you be okay?" I asked. "Is there something I can do for you?"  
  
"Yeah. Go get some sleep."  
  
"I will. And I'll be back soon," I promised.  
  
"Get that doctor back in here," Lex told me as I moved toward the door. "I think I need to apologize for my father's behavior earlier."  
  
"Lex, if you apologize for every time your father is rude to someone, you're going to spend your entire life following that man around."  
  
A perfect smile. I'd carry that with me for the next few hours at least.  
  
"Get out of here, brat," he replied.  
  
I ducked out the door and went in search of Dr. Adams.  
  
***  
  
It started raining shortly after I left the hospital. Another heavy Kansas summer thunderstorm. Not wanting to walk in the rain and too tired to drive, I took a cab to 14003 Market Avenue, otherwise known as Luthor Towers. I sat staring at the daunting eighty story structure before me as the doorman hurried over to the car, umbrella in hand, pulling the door open for me.  
  
"You must be Miss St. Claire," he smiled as I climbed out. "My names Carl. Mr. Luthor just called to say you were on your way. Let me show you up to the Penthouse. Have you ever been to Luthor Towers before?"  
  
I shook my head, thanking him as he held the front door open for me, and I stepped into the marbled lobby. I immediately felt out of place, in my rumpled black cocktail dress with my tangled hair and smudged makeup across my face, while around me the lobby glittered and gleamed with glass and marble and gold. Men and women in dark business suits hurried past me, this way and that, every now and then one occasionally would glance at me with a curious expression.  
  
Carl led me forward, explaining that he was taking me to the private elevator, which did not stop at the other residential floors and would whisk us straightaway to the 80th floor where the Penthouses were located. He went on to describe the building, which housed a bank in the lobby on the lower level, and a five story garage beneath it for residents only. The second through fourth floors housed a mall, filled with only the top designers and jewelers – stores that I would have been blessed to get a job in let alone actually buy something – while the fifth through twentieth floors consisted of law and stock broker offices, all of which worked for LuthorCorp. Floors twenty-one through thirty-nine were considered the low rent district – those apartments which rented for $1500 - $2000 a month. The fortieth floor housed the Tower gym, fully equipped with two Olympic size pools, weights and exercise equipment, spas, saunas, racquet ball and basket ball courts. The next thirty-eight floors went to the more expensive apartments, ranging in monthly rent from $2500 - $5000. There were two Penthouses located at the top of the Tower – Lex's and one that belonged to Johnson Jameson, a board member of LuthorCorp and Lionel's consultant. Apparently, Lionel Luthor had his own Penthouse, consisting of no fewer than three floors, located at LuthorCorp Headquarters. I was just relieved to know that there would be little chance of running into him here.  
  
True to Carl's promise, the private elevator took us quickly to the top of the Tower. At an alarming rate, truth be told. I think I left my stomach somewhere between floors twenty and twenty-one. I said as much to the kind doorman, and he laughed and told me that I would get used to it. I couldn't help but wonder how used Carl was to showing a strange woman to Lex's Penthouse. I knew it was none of my business and that Lex had likely had dozens of women falling over him for years now, and it was something I would just have to get used to, but still, that little green monster of jealous couldn't help rearing its ugly head.  
  
When we reached the eightieth floor, Carl led me down the hall to an ornate oak door. I handed him the key and he opened it for me, switching on the lights and then stepping aside for me to enter. "Should you require anything else, simply pick up the phone and dial "01" and that will put you directly to me. To make an outside call, just dial "8" and then the number. I certainly hope that Mr. Luthor heals quickly."  
  
I smiled. "Thank you, Carl. I appreciate all of this, and I'm certain Lex does too."  
  
Carl smiled, nodded, and disappeared into the hall, closing the door behind him. I felt like collapsing.  
  
Kicking off my heels, I wandered through the front room of the Penthouse, over to the glass doors that led out onto the roof, which housed a garden and small pond. I wondered if Lex ever even made an attempt to step out there, considering his fear of heights. If it weren't raining, and I weren't in danger of being struck by lightning, I would have liked to have stepped out and seen the view. I turned, allowing my gaze to sweep over the main room. It was roughly the size of the entire first floor of the farmhouse, maybe a little bigger. It was decorated with ox-blood red leather couches, a bar, mahogany tables, a 40-inch widescreen television, marble fireplace, and original oil paintings covering the walls. It would have very much resembled a typical bachelors pad… If it had anything even remotely personal in it. Instead, it was more of a museum reproduction of what a bachelor's pad should resemble.  
  
I moved over the plush deep red carpeting to the kitchen, which was again double the size of aunt Martha's though I seriously doubted Lex ever used it. I peeked into all of the cabinets, found some canned goods though I realized I wasn't all that hungry, glanced into the refrigerator, which did contain an opened bottle of Dom Perignon. It was tempting, but getting drunk on an empty stomach would have been unpleasant to say the least. Nothing left to look through in the kitchen, I wandered down the hall, locating the study, an exercise room, a guest room and guest bath, and finally the master bedroom. Part of me thought it would be best if I stayed in the guest room, but a more selfish and greedy side of me chose the master bedroom.  
  
Taking a deep breath, I realized I could smell a hint of Lex's cologne hanging in the air. Smiling to myself, I allowed my legs to carry me over to the closet, which I opened to find was completely stocked with clothing, all of Lex's typical attire. Dark slacks and long-sleeved dress shirts in colors ranging from black and dark blue to lavender and light gray. Reaching out, I fingered one of the lavender silk shirts, figuring I had nothing to wear anyway so why not? I pulled it from the hanger, closed the door, and wandered into the marble bathroom.  
  
Briefly I debated taking a bath but knew I would most likely drown once I fell asleep, so I took a quick hot shower, which only served to relax my muscles and make my eyes grow heavier. I still wanted to explore, but my body was telling me otherwise. So I slipped into the lavender shirt, which blessedly smelled like Lex, and returned to the bedroom where I pulled back the covers on the king-sized feather bed and climbed in. Snuggling against the pillows, I realized that everything around me was laden with the scent of Lex. It comforted and teased, all at once. Smiling at the thought of him, and knowing in my heart that he would be fine, I closed my eyes, and drifted off into the first restful slumber I had experienced in days. 


End file.
